What’s happening, LOP Land? Mikey Moose here once again to give you some spoilers for the next edition of Vertigo. As always, I'll tell you what went down and give you a few of my thoughts, you decide whether or not it's worth your time to watch it. I hit the Insanity show first this week, so I'll give you the results of the match they taped there first.


TV title contendership on the line in this match. Crerar and Crooked, the modern day dream team, came out first, pumping up the crowd. I could barely hear the announcer with all the little kids screaming and shouting. Anwyl and AGL came out next, receiving a far less enthusiastic reaction.

Anwyl and Crerar started off, with Anwyl gaining the early advantage. Anwyl hit an awesome tiger bomb before tagging in AGL. Leonidas knocked Ozzy out of the ring, and followed him out, but Ozzy tagged Crooked while climbing in and out of the ring, giving Crooked the chance to hit a diving lariat off the ring apron to the outside.

Crooked threw AGL back in the ring, but Anwyl broke up the count. AGL and Crooked battled in the ring for a while, exchanging fists and kicks, before AGL tagged Anwyl back in. Anwyl hit a double arm DDT, and then a belly to belly suplex. Anwyl seems to be pretty technical in the ring, LPW needs one of them.

Anwyl irish-whiped Crooked into the turnbuckle, and AGL tagged himself in. Anwyl was pissed. He pushed AGL and elbowed him in the face. The ref broke it up, while Ozzy was tagged in and the two hit a double cutter. Then was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Crooked did the “censored” version of the S**t Sandwich, farting in AGL’s face, before Ozzy covered, earning the TV title shot for himself and Crooked.

Ozzy Crerar and Captain Crooked (3.78 APS + 3.78 APS + 2.00 AVS = 9.55 total)
Anwyl and Andrew Gregory Leonidas (3.70 APS + 3.58 APS + 0.50 AVS = 7.78 total)

Mikey's Thoughts: Thank you, Eric Scorpio, thank you for bringing Ozzy and Crooked together for a match. AGL and Anwyl, one of the many superstars coming over from FMW, were the underdogs in this match, but still put up a fair fight. Anwyl seems to be getting a push, after he attacked his partner after the match.

*****

After this match they set up for the main Insanity: GOLD show, so I'll jump ahead to the matches they taped before Pyromania.


This was probably one of the least exciting matches on Vertigo, ever. But, by the end of the match, I was really enjoying the show put on by Jack “The Pitbull” Daniels, as terrible as his nickname is. Both guys have had their various matches on Pyro shows, but most of the time we’re squashed, although at One Way Ticket where Daniels was beaten down was pretty enjoyable.

Jesus (which is pronounced He-Zeus, apparently) came out first He-Zeus was waiting in the ring for over a minute before Daniels came out. And then Daniel became my favorite rookie, bringing out a bottle of Jack Daniels. It was awesome.
I could tell from the start that this was going to be a squash match. Daniels was a bigger and taller, giving him a huge advantage. Puns aside, Daniels stepped in the ring, and took a sip, well actually, more of a gulp, of his whisky, before Jesus attempted to get the early advantage, which he unluckily failed. Daniels hit the Mauling for the win, which is a fantastic move, which starts as a backbreaker rack, and dropped into a piledriver.

Jack “Pitbull” Daniels (3.03 APS + 2.1 AVS = 5.13 total)
Jesus Malkovich (0 APS + 0.8 AVS = 0.8 total)

Mikey's Thoughts: I don’t think we’ll see Jesus anytime soon, but Jack Daniels seems to be going very well now, after a string of losses.


This was definitely the best match we’ve seen on the modren version of Vertigo. Zenith and Krossbones were only recently drafted to Pyromania, joining Australis, and Matt Clark (I’ve seen it been misspelled as Clarke several times, now) and Daniel Pleasant making their mark in recent shows, with Clark and Dicky Dynamo to receive their tag title shot against the Wisemen sometime soon.

The Prophets, as I like to call them, headed to the ring first. Might I add, there theme doesn’t suit them very well. Sean Jensen gets some Children of Bodom, why can’t the Prophets get a good theme? Anyway, Australis made their way to the ring next, with a theme by some band led by some guy who’s now part of Australian government, apparently. The song is terrible. LPW needs better themes. I heard Malpractice is recorded some for Ultramarcus?

Pleasant and Krossbones started in the ring first, with Pleasant gaining the advantage after a few discus punches. Pleasant was ‘owning’ Krossbones a lot of the time, hitting a spinebuster and a backcracker during the start of the match, before Zenith broke up the pinfall attempt, giving Krossbones the chance to gain the advantage, hitting a big boot on Pleasant and a side slam, before tagging in Zenith.

Zenith hit a few shoulder barges and clotheslines, before a perfect German suplex right in the middle of the ring. After Zenith locked in a single leg boston crab, Pleasant crawled to the ropes and broke the count, before Pleasant hit a low blow when Zenith’s back was turn. Pleasant tagged in Clark, who hit an awesome springboard moonsault on Zenith. Clark nailed Zenith with a double underhook piledriver, before he tagged in Pleasant and they hit a devastating double roundhouse kick.

Pleasant then hit his Famous Last Words DDT, but just as he finished hit it, Krossbones jumped in the ring and knocked Pleasant to the mat, before hitting the “Jolly Rodger”, which is basically a punt to the head. Clark then bolted in and hit his new move the Hurricane DDT, before he and Krossbones rolled out of the ring. Zenith took advantage of the interference, hitting the Limit Buster backbreaker for the win.

Australis (Zenith and Kaptain Krossbones) (3.74 APS + 3.12 APS + 1.7 AVS = 8.56 total)
The Prophecy of Violence (Matt Clark and Daniel Pleasant) (3.6 APS + 3.46 APS + 1.2 AVS = 8.26 total)

Mikey's Thoughts: These four guys are the future of LPW, no doubt. They all bring their own unique style to LPW, and in a few years time, all of them will be wrestling in main events, week in, week out.

*****

All in all, I'd say Vertigo was a pretty awesome show, but the main event was the match of Vertigo this time around. All these matches had solid ring work, and all pulled off great matches. All these guys will go onto greatness, and you can’t quote me on that.

That's it for this month, people. I'll be back again next time around with more spoilers, saving you all time and money. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and tune in next time for the Vertigo results of 18.4. Peace.

Mikey Moose (Mike_Rulz@hotmail.com)