Phoenix: Although we are just one month away from the actual event, welcome to the IIINSSSSAAAANNNEEEE AAAASSSYYYYLLUMMMM!!!   I’m Blazing Phoenix and his is my partner SoL-

SoL: The New Breed needs no introductions.

Phoenix: And we have an action packed night here leading into the Insane Asylum pay-per-view. We have three title matches on the eve of such a big event.

SoL: Why don’t you let the New Breed Run down the card… after Pope Fred fails at Hide & Seek with Little Red, the LPW Hardcore title will be declared vacant as the “epitome of violence” Seth Omega will take on the Hall of Famer, Phantom Lord.

Phoenix: Last week these two went to a draw in a hardcore match… I’ve never seen that before in all my years competing or at the announce table.

SoL: Now with the strap online these two will only raise their game.

Phoenix: Then the “Shock Jock” Son of Shockey will take on the “One Man Holocaust” Crazy Ash Killa for CAK’s Transatlantic Title.

SoL: Now CAK laid out an open challenge for anyone that is not a champion already for a shot and Shockey was the only person stupid enough to answer.

Phoenix: Wanting a title shot is stupid?

SoL: No winning a belt is amazing something the New Breed knows plenty about.  But facing a monster for something below the world title is stupid there is no glory in being mid card champion that’s why the New Breed never bothered.

Phoenix:  Oh your intolerable. Shockey has just as much of a chance as anyone to be a champion and Tonight just may be his night. But tonight’s main event is HUGE

SoL: BP you don’t rate announcing a Main event match as you never main evented.

Phoenix: Evented isn’t a word “New Breed”…

SoL: The New Breed makes them, just like tonight’s made-up main event where wizard boy cYnical defends the World Heavyweight Championship against the one ghost from his past that he has never defeated, the one person that has been a thorn in his side since his arrival in the then PWA… Tonight LPW Fans Marks the RETURN OF JARO!

Phoenix: The rest of the card is stacked as well. X takes on Monroe, Villaino 187 and Dr. Wagner in a lucha match-

SoL: The New Breed doesn’t care who could eat more taco bell-

Phoenix: That’s not Lucha. A huge Altered Reality preview match-

SoL: And Krimson Mask slaughters a rookie. What you know that is exactly how this will happen.

Mike Announcer: The following contest is for one fall…

Monroe: Mike your services won’t be needed.

"The Renegade" by Styx as Monroe comes out with a microphone in his hands and a huge smile on his face. He is wearing an Inferno shirt and he runs and slides into the ring.

Monroe: Now as the under talented and overpaid Mike Announcer was saying INTRODUCING FIRST, I hail from St. Louis, Missouri, I weigh in at 395 ibs! I am the former and only Rookies heavyweight champion and the force that will help Inferno burn Insanity to the ground to cleanse it of its trash not to mention the man that is about to beat the [beep] out of the leader of the Three Wise Asses… I am MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONROE!!!!!

SoL: BP remind me again why he is allowed to have access to microphones.
 
Instead of X coming out, "This Devil's Workday" by Modest Mouse goes off as Son of Shockey and Monroe come through the curtain. They begin to make their way down the ramp and enter the ring.

Phoenix:  What is Shockey doing out here?

SoL:  Why isn’t he out here?

Shockey has a mic and taps on it with his palm to acknowledge he’s about to speak.

SOS: So this pitiful excuse for a town where I will win my first championship title… disgusting.  Idaho, yeah the name is perfect for you are all the hoes. But don’t worry for Insanity has been injected with a medication to fix its current problem. Boise you see Monroe and I…

Monroe: …are the cure this place needs! We are the anti-toxin that will cleanse the hardcore stint of wrestling from LPW forever. And we start with the Three Wise Asses. X tonight I will show you why you are a thing of the past. Maybe a hundred years ago you were a big deal but not anymore. It is our time now just like how Ash will…

SOS: …get his ass kicked my me. I made you mother [BEEP] if it wasn’t for me you would still be in the background doing nothing. By defeating me you made a legacy off a fluke win. But tonight I fix that for tonight after I beat you I throw that piece of crap Transatlantic title in the ocean and bring back the US title for I Am a proud American.  Tonight I expose you as a fluke Ash but know this I am focused and I am pulling out all the stops CAK DIES TONIGHT!

Monroe: Hell neither of us like Wagner but if he just says the word we will be there to hand Villaino his ass too.

SOS: Getting rid of the Three Wise Asses, destroying Hardcore wrestling… we have a busy schedule but this is an open call to arms. If any maggots of the Insanity Roster share our views with needing to save Insanity and destroy Hardcore Wrestling then we will be your brothers in arms. Insanity that is your Hurricane Warning-

X… X… THIS IS A X…

Ben Starr:  ”Smasher/Devourer” by Fear Factory plays as the lights go out and a flash of red lights fill the arena. Three figures make their way out, with one man holding a chair, one wearing a luchadore mask, and one narrating every single move fuckin’ they do.

X: That is your hurricane warning? Is that the best these rookies can do? So you two little rookies think you can handle us? You need to stop drinking the kool-aid and start drinking the Truth!

Villiano: At any moment the two of you can take your mouths off Inferno’s collective dick and listen to Wisdom.

SOS: That metaphor sucks as much as you.  We don’t suck. X and CAK you two are first and Villaino you better watch your back…

Ben Starr:  CAK suddenly emerges from the entrance way and instead of talking, lets his belt fall to the floor and slowly walks down the ramp.  Shockey looks appalled and says…

SOS: Shut your beepin! narrator up and don’t be banging up my soon to be belt like that. And stop lets settle this in the ring where it matters. Sure Monroe and I could kick all your asses right now but in the ring it will matter in the ring we expose the lie that you three preach.

Ben Starr:  Now all three of the Wise Men run down the ramp and into the ring, and X begins lighting Monroe up with a chain of fast punches!  CAK chases after Shockey which makes him bolt and over the barricade.  SOS turns and stares at Ash and makes a belt gesture around his waist as CAK just laughs at him.

Phoenix:  As things get situated, the referee is motioning for Shockey, CAK, and Villiano to leave ringside.  While they leave, X and Monroe are trading blows back and forth. X irish whips Monroe… Monroe reverses… X bounces off the ropes… hip toss by Monroe to X. X rolls with the fall and is back on his feet. Monroe moves in but a fast drop kick by X causes Monroe to stagger back. X charges with a clothesline and Monroe side steps and tosses X over the top rope… X reaches out and he grabs Monroe by he beard and yanks him over the top rope by his face!

SoL: You know that hurt…

Phoenix: Monroe quickly up and he drives a boot into the stomach of X and slams his face off of the ring apron. One of the number one contenders for the WHC is not in a good place right now.

Ben Starr:  X stumbles back and comes right back with a stiff kick to the gut followed by a fast jaw buster. X then takes the time to walk Monroe to the ring post and slams his head off of the post.

Phoenix: And as you can tell, Ben Starr has joined up for commentary to provide… narration.  How’s it going Ben?

Ben Starr:  Monroe grabs his head as X jump son the ring stairs and connects with a flying clothesline to knock Monroe into the ring apron. Kick after Kick to the gut as the ref is yelling at them to take the action back into the ring… finally order is restored as X slides Monroe under the bottom rope. He bends down to pick up Monroe and OUT OF NOWHERE SMALL PACKAGE!

One…
Kick out by X!

SoL: I’m not sure he knows how to appropriately interact with people BP.  But I got to wonder why Monroe thought he would beat X of all people with a  small package but then again it is X…the New Breed could beat him with a stare.

Phoenix: Oh stop it your beef with the man has to stop. But regardless Monroe picks up X and goes for a power slam and a blatnet eye gouge by X and X turns it into a Final SoLution!

SoL: Hey that son of a [BEEP] stole my move!

Phoenix: Look partner. That’s what X thinks about using your move.

Ben Starr: X motions to Ben Starr, who comes over to him and gives him some hand sanitizer.  X can be heard saying he feels unclean after using a SoL trade mark move.

SoL: THAT DOES IT! [BEEP] that [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] I’m going to kill him myself if Monroe fails to do it.

Phoenix: Monroe is up and he spears X out of nowhere. Monroe covers again.

One…
Two…
Kick out by X!

SoL: grumble grumble…

Phoenix: Oh snap out of it New Breed, it was funny. Monroe picks up X and hits a quick suplex. And here comes trouble… big trouble.

Ben Starr:  As Monroe is picking up X he notices CAK walking down the ramp slowly. Monroe ignores X and turns his attention to CAK.

Phoenix: X from behind and rolls up Monroe!

One…
Kick out by Monroe!

SoL: Where is Shockey? CAK is out here come on Shockey back up your boy!

Phoenix: Well CAK hasn’t interfered in the match but X doesn’t let Monroe up as he locks him in a Boston crab. Monroe claws for the ropes and he is able to pull it off.

SoL: like I said Monroe has this. He should have known better then to lock a submission on a big man so close to the ropes.

Phoenix: X still doesn’t let go as he cranks on the pressure and the ref starts his five count.

Ben Starr:  One…

SoL: That dirty rotten scum sucking-

Ben Starr:  Two…

Phoenix: impartial much?

Ben Starr:  Three…

SoL: I am very impartial I just won’t let that punk disrespect the greatest thing to ever happen…SHUT UP YOU FREAK BEFORE I STICK A SEMI COLON UP YOUR PROSTATE COLON!

Ben Starr:  ……….four…

Phoenix: And X breaks the hold. X drags Monroe to the middle of the ring and starts to kick and stomp the legs of Monroe. Smart strategy to keep the big man off of his feet. X goes to drop a elbow on Monroe and Monroe rolls out of the way and is back to is feet.

SoL: Yes comeback city.

Phoenix: Monroe blocks a punch attempt by X and power punches him back. Monroe takes a step back and-

SoL: DAS BOOT [BEEP] PIN HIM!!!

Phoenix: Calm down and it looks like Monroe heard you as he rolls over X and covers him.

One…
Two…
Kick out by X!

SoL: Damn it.

Phoenix: Monroe now wraps his legs around X’s neck and locks him in a triangle choke hold.

SoL: Monroe has it here he has too.

Ben Starr:  The referee monitors the hold as Monroe forces more pressure and can’t believe the look on is face when CAK reaches in and grabs X’s foot and puts it on the ropes. Monroe looks pissed and lets go of the hold and goes to the ring side.

Phoenix: Monroe is calling out CAK now and look CAK gives him no notice. And X is up as he clips Monroe’s legs out from under him. X picks up Monroe and plants him with a pile driver! X goes up to the top rope X-BOMB! X covers.

One…
Two…
Thr-Kick out by Monroe!

SoL: Close one.  Come on Monroe, punish that sucka!

Phoenix: Monroe quickly gets up and he powers X into a corner and he is laying the fist. Monroe is a man possessed and refuses to walk away with a loss here. The ref moves in to pull Monroe off of X and Monroe accidentally lays out the referee! Monroe shrugs his shoulders and lifts X up to the top rope. Monroe climbs up and wraps his hands around X throat. He is calling for the Total Destruction and CAK is on the ring side and a stiff punch to the gut of Monroe has him let go of X. CAK climbs on the ring post and DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM STRAIGHT TO HELL FROM THE TOP ROPE! CAK climbs down and X leaps off of the taller height of CAK then the top rope to hit a second X-BOMB! X Covers. CAK slides out of the ring and wakes up the ref. X covers.

One…
Two…
Three!

Announcer: Here is your winner… XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

X (1.40 avs + 4.22 aps = 5.62 total)
Monroe (1.10 avs + 3.82 aps = 4.92 total)


SoL: CAK screwed Monroe out of what could have been his biggest victory to date. I demand justice.

Phoenix: I didn’t know you were such a Monroe fan.

SoL: I’m not… X can just go [BEEP] himself

Ben Starr:  X and CAK slap hands as X celebrates Monroe slides out of the ring and goes up to Ben Starr.  He looks at him with a stigmatism in his eye.  A rather smug and fond look all wrapped one as he grabs hold of X’s trusty steel chair.  He looks at the chari and he looks at Ben, then at the chair again and… oh shit...

Phoenix: Monroe lays out Starr!

SoL:  Thank God!

Phoenix:  Look, Monroe has X’s trusty CYW chair… and he is booking it backstage. Monroe has stolen X’s chair. X and CAK haven’t realized it yet, but when they do, this won’t end well for Monroe I fear.

May 15

My therapist says I should keep a journal; he says it’ll make me feel better.  But I don’t think anything I write will make me feel right.  The voices in my head tell me that.  I’ll write back when I have something more to write about.

May 18

All of these other wrestlers laugh and scream out as they fight.  The devil himself must be in their hearts, even for those who claim they pray.  I used to pray before every fight…pray to be better, pray to be the better man in any given night.  No one answered my prayers.  That’s how I ended up here in the Loony Bin.  Maybe the only way out is to ask the Devil for a favor.

June 2

The end is near.  I can sense it.  Will people be waiting for me at the Insane Asylum?  Will I even survive that long?  Hope if anyone found journal that you’ve learned something about me.  I’d hate to die and be forgotten.

Phoenix: Now our first Title fight of the evening Seth Omega versus Phantom Lord. These guys had a knock out drag-out fight in New Orleans SoL.

SoL: They sure did and now with Pope Fred being MIA and stripped of the Hardcore title, these two men are the number 1 contenders.

Phoenix: If the last fight was any indication this should be one of the biggest brawls of the year.

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the following brawl is scheduled for one fall and is for the vacant LPW Hardcore Championship!


“Desire” by Ozzy Osborne hit’s the PA as Phantom Lord makes his way out from backstage.

SoL: Here comes a legend of LPW, he is old school nd he is one tough S.O.B. What the hell!!

Phoenix: Seth is out and hit Phantom with a stop sign, he is holding it up as the blood thirsty crowd cheers him on.

SoL: Now that cheater hit him with a Caution sign.

Phoenix: Well it isn’t cheating, it is after all a hardcore match. He hits him with a Rail Road crossing sign, I love the figuratism here.
 
SoL: What do you mean?

Phoenix: Look at the signs, Stop  Caution and Rail Road Crossing.

SoL: So!

Phoenix: Seth is telling Phantom and the crowd that a Train is coming through and Seth is that train.

SoL: Give me a break that is garbage. Seth has been pounding away on Phantom with those signs.

Phoenix: Seth finally rolls Phantom into the ring, and tries for the pin.

SoL: That pinhead the chain isn’t attached nor has the match begun. Seth quickly connects himself to Phantom with the chain. Phantom springs up and starts pounding on Seth, see that is what a legend does they lie in wait until the right moment.

Phoenix: Well this is going to be a very bloody match as Seth is already busted wide open. Phantom has the chain wrapped round his fist and is just laying punch after punch into his bloody forehead.

SoL: So much for that train, Phantom slides out and grabs a chair and then slides back into the ring.

Phoenix: Phantom sets up the chair and slings Seth off the ropes, Seth ducks under a chain-line, ducks under another, Oh God, Seth with a big smile on his face as Phantom is tangled up in the chain. Seth takes off and slides out of the ring, Seth’s momentum squeezes Phantom calling him to trip up and take a header into the chair.

SoL: What a cheater Seth grabs a screw driver from under the ring in one of the tool boxes.

Phoenix: What is he going to do with that?

SoL: If I were a betting man, I’d say stab him maybe?

Phoenix: Seth isn’t that brutal.

SoL: Seth wants the belt he will stoop to any level to get it.

Phoenix: He is wrapping the chain around Phantom’s hands, and sticks the screw driver into the chain.

SoL: He handcuffed Phantom!! How will he defend himself?

Phoenix: Maybe but there isn’t enough chain left to get a lot of separation. It looks to be ok with Seth as he begins laying the leather to Phantom. Stomp after stomp after STOMP.

SoL: Seth begins slamming Phantom’s head in to the chair, this dirty crowd is cheering him on counting at he does it 1,2.………. All the way to 10! Dear god look at Phantom’s face!!!

Phoenix: It is like a pile of mashed potatoes with Ketchup.

SoL: You mean Katsup?

Phoenix:  Shut up, my boy Seth has Phantom reeling as he locks in a crossface, but he is using the chain instead of his hands.

SoL: My god the chain is eating away at the sides of Phantoms face, Seth is going to turn him into the modern day Joker doing that. All the while he is raining down elbows on Phantoms already butchered head.

SoL: The ref may have to stop this match and give Seth the title.

Phoenix: Shut-up you twit, you think Phantom is going to quit?

SoL: Seth breaks up the cross-face, and slides around into an ankle lock.

Phoenix: My god he is yanking on the chain still wrapped in Phantom’s mouth while having the submission locked in. Phantom is in agonizing pain but he isn’t screaming he is simply enduring.

SoL: Want to know why numb nuts.

Phoenix: Sure I’ll humor you.

SoL: It is because unlike you he is a man, he is probably just bidding some time to make a move.

Phoenix: Are you fucking kidding me, look at him Seth has that chain wrapped around him so many different ways he can’t move.
 
SoL: No sooner than you say that Seth starts to unwrap him to gain some space. Seth to the top, look like he is gonna go for an elbow.

Phoenix: Look Phantom yanks the chain and pulls Seth down right into a viscous spear.

SoL: Told you, Phantom folded him in half, look Phantom throws Seth under the ropes on one side of the turnbuckle and he exits on the other side.

Phoenix: Phantom has that look in his eyes, he takes of running away from Seth. Seth goes crashing chest and head first into the ring post.

SoL: Nice move as Seth is completely laid out. Phantom is quickly in than back out putting himself on the same side as Seth.

Phoenix: Phantom hog ties Seth and whips him with the remaining chain. We have an old fashion slave beating going on here.

SoL: Look at the welts being left on Seth’s back. Well if Phantom’s face looks like mashed potatoes and ketchup, Seth’s back looks like Roast Beef.

Phoenix: His back doesn’t look like Whore’s Vag!  Oh that isn’t what you meant. Sorry to the kiddies at home, he meant the roast beef you get from Arby’s.

SoL: You are fucking disgusting.

Phoenix: You love it.
SoL: Phantom with a powerful bodyslam onto the steel steps.

Phoenix: These two guys really want this belt. Phantom with a pin attempt 1…2…
Kick out by Seth.

SoL: Not only do they want to be the next Hardcore champ but they are both showing heart.

Phoenix: Phantom is going to bounce Seth’s head of the ring post again.

SoL: Look it bounced of like a ping pong ball. Phantom goes for the pin again 1…2… KICK OUT BY SETH!!!!!!

Phoenix: Now they are over the guard rail and beginning to battle to the back. Well not so much battling as Seth still being out on his feet and getting it handed to him all the way to the back.

SoL: Where the hell are they, look at the rabid fans chanting LPW…….. LPW……. LPW.

Phoenix: Phantom is starting to take a methodical slow pace to his fight. The blood loss and savage beating is starting to take a toll.

SoL: Both these guys have been bleeding like my ex wife on the rag since this fight started.

Phoenix: LOL that is the first funny thing I have ever heard you say. I didn’t know you had an ex-wife.

SoL: I don’t.

Phoenix: Even BETTER LOL!!! This match is great, Seth is laid out and Phantom is having a beer at the concession stand.

SoL: That is a mistake he should go for the pin.

Phoenix: I still think it is a tad to early to end this classic battle. Can you say match of the year candidate. Phantom is dragging Seth to the parking lot now, Seth caught a breather and is beginning to stir.

SoL: They start trading punches, kicks, and Seth takes him down MMA style.

Phoenix: Seth has him mounted and rains down punches, but Phantom covers up pretty nicely.  Seth slides around for an arm bar.

SoL: Phantom  rolls over on top, he picks up Seth, and slams him down on a car hood.
Phoenix: That looks like it hurt as Seth doesn’t break the hold. Instead he releases and moves for a triangle choke.

SoL: Brilliant, Seth took it and improved the hold. Phantom has shim up again and slams him down again.

Phoenix: His head went through the windshield. Phantom goes for the pin 1,,,,2,,,,
kickout again!! Phantom is dragging him again, now where are they going.

SoL: He wrapped the chain around Seth’s neck and is basically choking him out.

Phoenix: They are out front now and Phantom is setting up tables. This could finally spell the end of Seth

SoL: Phantom sets three tables up and places Seth on them.

Phoenix: How much chain is there?

SoL: 30 feet maybe why.

Phoenix I have a feeling we are going to see Phantom fly. He is going to decapitate him with his “Vintage” legdrop.

SoL: Did you see that Seth just smiled.

Phoenix: Wait what?

SoL: Look, Seth is laying in wait!

Phoenix: My God, Phantom is jumping into a trap!!

SoL: Phantom is of the scaffolding on the HDtron and Seth catches him in the Heart-Shaped Box through the tables.

Phoenix: That was absolutely viscous   1…..2……….3!

Announcer: The Winner and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW HARDCORE CHAMPION, SETH OMEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seth Omega (1.90 avs + 3.86 aps = 5.76 total)
Phantom Lord (0.70 avs + 3.72 aps = 4.42 total)


Phoenix: Seth staggers down to the ring pulling a laid out Phantom to the ring. The ref unlocks the chain and presents Seth with his first LPW title.

”Bullet with Butterfly Wing” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the PA.

SoL: No sooner than Seth wins his belt does Andy Savana comes out.

Phoenix: I guess Andy is making it known he wants a shot at the title. Andy slides into the ring and he and Seth are nose-to-nose.

The crowd goes bonkers as the newest and former Hardcore Champion are about to explode.  But instead of trading blows, Omega cups his hand and whispers something to Savana, pulling him aside as if no one in the arena is there.  Andy’s wickedly smiles and looks at who’s in the ring.

SoL: Andy smiles picks up Phantom and hits his patented “Savanaduced Coma.”

Phoenix: What the hell is that about?  The match is over!  Andy smiles and hugs Seth raising his arm in victory.  What is the meaning?

SoL: Can you imagine how dangerous these to could be as a team?

Phoenix: Jesus, don’t even imagine that.

SoL:  Well its happening right now.  I’m sure we’ll find out what Omega whispered to Savana to make him turn a total 180.

Phoenix: For our next match, another match-up between one of the Wise Men and a young up and comer. Unlike our previous match where Monroe has recently started wearing on the patience of the Wise Men and X, LPW Hall of Famer Villiano 187 and Dr. Wagner have had issues for quite sometime. Add to the fact that Dr. Wagner's mentor, Phantom Lord, hates Villiano, this match has all the makings of a war.

SoL: Wagner helped Phantom Lord jump Vil when he first started. Now the ungrateful brat is trying to break free from the guy who gave him his break and allowed him to make it in LPW. Kindness is a bitch, isn't it? He should be thanking Phantom for giving him a chance to beat up a legendary punk like Villiano.

Phoenix: Maybe Wagner wants to be his own man?

SoL: And get the love of simpletons like you?

Phoenix: All I know is that the two participants in this match don't care for one another. And Villiano sure as hell will want to punish Wagner for being aligned with Phantom and jumping him at Insanity at Waikiki Beach.

“Close Your Eyes” by Story of the Year blares on the PA as Dr. Wagner comes out of the stage and poses for the crowd. He runs down the ramp, high-fiving the fans as he makes his way to the ring.

Announcer: Introducing first, from Mexico City, Mexico and weighing 220 pounds. He is the ICON OF MEXICAN WRESTLING! THIS IS…  DOCTOR WWWAAAAAGGGNNNNNEEEERRRRRR!!!!

“Turn Up the Heat” by Bobaflex blares on the PA as LPW Hall of Famer and member of the Three Wise Men, Villiano 187 emerges from the curtain. He walks slowly toward the ring, starring a hole through the head of Wagner. He turns his head to chastise a fan for booing greatness. When he turns around, Wagner lands on him with a running bullet tope through the ropes, knocking the Hall of Famer down.

Announcer: And his opponent. From “Anywhere He Damn Well Pleases!” This is the Father of PWA/LPW and a member of the Three Wise Men. THIS IS… VVVIIILLLLLLIIIAAANNOOOOO 1! 8!! 7!!!

Phoenix: And Dr. Wagner is not waiting for the bell as he started this match off with a bullet tope through the ropes. Wagner is now picking up Villiano and starts hit him with overhand chops to the chest. Wagner is holding his fist up, asking the crowd if they want to see him plant Villiano in the face!

SoL: This little ingrate first attacks a man when he isn't ready. Now he is going to use a closed fist? Phantom would be proud. And he wants to get away from the great teaching of Phantom to play puppet to these sheep?

Phoenix: Wagner winds up...and misses. And Villiano counters with a vicious right cross slap to the face of Wagner that knocks him down.

SoL: Shades of the great El Dandy!

Phoenix: Indeed. Villiano now grabs Wagner and throws him into the guard rail. Villiano now throws him into the ring and the bell rings as the match is now official.

SoL: I bet Wagner is wishing he had started this like a man instead of losing his head and jumping on Villiano like a punk.

Phoenix: Villiano picks Wagner up and Irish whips him into the ropes and takes down Wagner with a vicious clothsline. He grabs his foot and flips him back up to his feet and Irish whips him again. Wagner tries to reverse it. Ouch! Vil hits him with another right cross slap to the face. And Villiano follows that up with a hard kick to the leg that takes Wagner off his feet.

SoL: Vil has everything going against this kid. He is taller, bigger, more experienced, and I bet he can fly better than Wagner!

Phoenix: Vil is only an inch and twenty pounds bigger than Dr. Wagner and is not that much of a flyer compared to Wagner.

SoL: He still has the experience!

Phoenix: Villiano is starting to stomp on the right leg of Wagner now. He lifts him up and Irish whips him to the ropes. Villiano goes for a clothesline...miss! Wagner comes running back to him. Spinning Head Scissors Takedown. And Vil gets up. Dropkick by Wagner. And a second one. And a third one which sends Villiano to the floor.

SoL: Vil is just going out there to catch his breath and restrategize.


As Vil gets up slowly, Dr. Wagner sees his opening and runs to the ropes and delivers the Valiente Special, a double jump blind springboard moonsault to the floor. The crowd goes wild at the athleticism and daring of Wagner. Wagner poses to the crowd.

Phoenix: Just amazing! Wagner just did one of the more dangerous aerial moves in wrestling! He just took Villiano out with the Valiente Special.

SoL: He is wasting too much time soaking in the love of the idiots. This is why the veterans will always reign supreme over the young ones.

Phoenix: Wagner throws Vil into the ring. Wagner picks him up and hits him with a number of elbow strikes. Wagner runs to the ropes. Vil counters with the Dicing the Salsa. He Hot-Shot him into the ropes throat first. Villiano takes him down with an reverse atomic drop. Villiano grabs Wagner's leg and is putting him in a submission hold.

SoL: Villiano started on that leg earlier and he is continuing the punishment with what looks like a variation of the Nudo Misionero, a standing Figure Four Lock. And Vil is looking to break this kid’s leg.

Phoenix: This hold hard to break out of since the arms are trapped in the legs as well. Wagner is basically balled up while in the figure four. But Wagner would know how to escape a hold like this.

SoL: Just because he is a luchador? He hasn't been around long enough nor seems willing to take instruction well enough to learn from his betters.

Phoenix: Wagner is fighting to get out of the hold. He gets his hand free. He grabs Vil. School Boy!

One!
Two!

Phoenix: Kickout at Two. And Vil has released the hold and is furious. He picks Wagner up again and throat chops him. That is a very dirty move.

SoL: It isn't illegal, Phoenix. And it is effective.

Phoenix: Vil kicks him in the stomach and appears to be going for a piledriver. The ref is telling him to not even try it, as the piledriver is illegal in a Lucha Libre rules match.

SoL: Villiano looks amused at the refs attempts at chastising him and shoves him out of the way. He tries for it again.

As Villiano lifts Wagner up for a piledriver, Wagner manages to deliver a hurricanrana to escape the attempt. Villiano gets up only to get a roundhouse kick to the face that sends him to the ground.  As Wagner attempts to take control of the match, Villiano, seeing that the ref is still down and not looking, punts Wagner between the legs.

Phoenix: FOUL!

SoL: Ref didn't see it so it is as fair as a wristlock.

Phoenix: Villiano is now motioning that this match is over with. He goes up top. He is going for The Whole Enchilada. Villiano flies! And misses. Wagner moved out of the way. And Vil is in a world of pain!

SoL: One of Wagner's fans used a laser pointer and blinded Villiano! I saw it.

Phoenix: Both men are up. Wagner runs slowly toward Vil, still favoring his right leg. Villiano goes for the clothesline. He misses. Wagner runs toward him. LA MISTICA! The satellite headscissors into an armbar and Wagner floats it over into a crucifix pin! Cover.

One!
Two!

Phoenix: Villiano kicks out at two!

SoL: That is the experience and resiliency I was talking about!

Phoenix: Vil goes for a right hook, but Wagner dodges it. Wagner has him locked up. Wagner nails Vil with the Providence! Wagner slowly turns Villiano over. Cover!

One!
Two!
Three!

Phoenix: Wagner wins! Wait...is that Phantom Lord coming down the ramp?

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, here is your winner… DOCTOR WAAAAAAGGGGNNNNEEERRRR!!!

Dr. Wagner (1.70 avs + 3.68 aps = 5.38 total)
Villiano 187 (1.00 avs + 3.44 aps = 4.44 total)


As Wagner is outside posing to the crowd and slapping hands with the crowd, Phantom Lord slides into the ring and starts to stomp on the downed Villiano. Phantom puts Villiano in a camel clutch and starts to untie and tear at the mask of Villiano. Villiano tries to fight back, but Phantom has the leverage and continues his mission of trying to unmask Villiano.

Phoenix: Phantom has been trying to claim the mask of Villiano for a number of years. He may be able to do it here.

SoL: We will finally get to see the ugly mug of Villiano. On second thought, keep the mask on Phantom. Just make him bleed!

Wagner turns around and sees his mentor trying to unmask Villiano. Knowing the significance of such an unwarranted unmasking, Wagner runs into the ring and dropkicks Phantom right in the face. Phantom gets up, only to get hit with an enziguri, which sends him out of the ring. Wagner stands in between Villiano and the enraged Phantom as the crowd starts going crazy.

SoL: Ok? What just happened? I thought Wagner was aligned with Phantom and hated Villiano?

Phoenix: The only thing I would guess is that I know that Wagner is a staunch traditionalist when it comes to Lucha Libre. And taking someone’s mask is a big no-no!

SoL: But upholding tradition by stabbing your mentor in the back?

Phoenix: The issues between Villiano and Phantom are far from over. And now Phantom will have to deal with his now former protégé.

Savana and Omega are walking down the hallway as Omega is holding his newly won LPW Hardcore Championship in Savana’s face.

Omega: That’s what’s up! That’s how I and you do things. Go out there, pick a target, and don’t even give them time to pray before their on their backs.

Savana: Yeah, that’s great. Alright, well good luck praying Pope Fred doesn’t come back.

Savana goes to walk off but the awkward silence as he walks away irks him and he turns around and raises an eyebrow at Omega, who is still admiring both his Hardcore Title and looking at Savana.

Omega: We’re such a good team…I mean…why not team together and whoop everybody’s ass? We could be called the Bad Ass Mother Fuckers, or BAMF! for short. It'd be great. I mean...you're not doing too much with your career anyway.

Savana: That’s due to change.  But the last time I was affiliated with anyone they failed horribly, not me, them. Before that, I turned on the person I was affiliated with…

Omega: So…

Savana: What the fuck? No. So, no.

Savana tries to walk away, but Omega shows him towards the office that reads “Quite on the Set”.  Savana awkwardly looks at Omega as if he can’t believe what’s Omega’s gonna ask.  The two walk in only to find Little Red in a director’s chair with a loudspeaker, shouting out directions to the Green Bastard dressed…well, in a all-green ogre costume.  Next to him is a donkey with a saddle attached.

Green Bastard:  I didn’t sign up for this.

Little Red:  Pipe it Shrek!  You’re gonna do what I say, and what I say is giddy-up on Donkey and bring Pinocchio with you.  The two of you are gonna

Green Bastard:  You’re crazy!  I am not getting on that thing.  Do you?

Referee Dressed as Pussy Boots:  Does it look like I have much of a say?

Out of the corner of her eye, Little Red sees both Andy and Omega make their way in.

Little Red: Raggedy ANDYYYYYY!

Savana: Son of a bitch…

Little Red: You came to my movie!  Where’s Omega-oh, he is right here. Good. Now I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the ring earlier tonight.  I saw Omega telling a secret to Poor Andy, and because I am a girl, I must know all secrets otherwise I am forcing the two of you to a sleep-over.

Omega:  That’s fine by me.

Little Red:  So what is it?

Omega:  Well since we’re the biggest Bad Ass Mother Fuckers…

Savana:  BAMF!

Omega: Since we all know that the two of us are equally the greatest Hardcore Champions this shit pot has even seen, rather than fight, I asked for a truce. 

Little Red:  A truce?  But Andy does not have a title.  What is in it for Andy?

Omega:  Well, since the Watchmen couldn’t do Insanity proud and keep the LPW Unified Tag Team Championship over on the A-Brand, I’ve went ahead and created Insanity’s newest Tag Team Championship?

Savana: What?

Omega:  We therefore are introducing ourselves as the inaugural LPW Hardcore Tag Team Champions.  So, we just wanted to come in here and tell you thank you for naming ourselves as the first champions.  We’ll be seeing you Red.

Omega turns towards the door happy at how things transpired only until…

Little Red:  I don’t think so…

Omega:  What?  Why not?  You need tag team champions to face Inferno’s Tag Team Champions, and we’re just the ones to do it.

Little Red: But I had some other plans for the Tag Team Championship at Altered Reality 5.

Omega:  Like what?!?

Little Red:  It’s a secret.

Omega:  That’s not fair!  We told you ours, you tell us yours.

Little Red:  Only little girls do that.

Savana is obviously getting disturbed at how this conversation is going and begins to leave the room until Omega shouts out one last threat.

Omega:  You know what, fine.  We don’t need your okay.  Matter of fact, we’re gonna name the titles after ourselves.  The BAMF! Hardcore Tag Team Championship.

Little Red:  But you haven’t beaten anyone for them.

Omega:  Of course we have. 

Little Red:  Who?

Omega steals Little Red’s megaphone and slams it into the Shrek Bastard’s face, instantly knocking the rookie to the ground.

Little Red:  HEY!  YOU CAN NOT DO THAT!  THIS IS MY MOVIE!

Omega then picks up Shrek Bastard and shoves his face into the Donkey’s ass, instantly igniting the Donkey to HEE HAW and dash for his life, tearing down Little Red’s set made up of blocks and toothpicks.  Meanwhile, Savana picks up Pinocchio and gives the Savanaduced Coma to the puppet.  Omega pins Bastard while Savana lays a foot on Pinocchio.  Omega motions to the referee dressed as Pussy Boots to get down and count the 1-2-3.

Little Red:  Well I hope you are happy, misters.  Because you ruined my movie, I am gonna ruin you at Insane Asylum. 

Omega:  And how do you think you’ll do that?

Little Red:  Well Mr. New Hardcore Champion, you get to defend your title at Insane Asylum.

Omega:  Against who?

Little Red:  You are gonna face… Phantom Lord!

Omega:  Beat him, done that.

Little Red:  …and Dr. Wagner!

Omega:  Ooooh, I’m scared.

Little Red:  …and Villiano 187!

Seth Omega gulps a little at how his odds are being stacked, leaving Savana to laugh a little at how this is turning out.

Little Red:  …and MC Steel!

Omega:  Done yet?

Little Red:  …and one mystery person.

Omega:  Bring it.  I don’t care.  Five guys down will be just what I need headed into Altered Reality.

Little Red:  Good.  Because its not only gonna be a six-way match, its gonna be in an Insane Death Match Elimination Chamber.  Tee hee hee hee hee!

Omega can’t believe it and turns to Savana.  Andy just starts laughing at how things completely turned against his now co-BAMF! Tag Team Champion.

Little Red:  Oh, and Andy?

Savana:  What?

Little Red:  Your 1-on-10 handicap match at Insane Asylum you wanted.  Well, that is now cancelled.  Now get off the set!

Savana:  Oh you’re gonna pay for that you Little Bitch!

Little Red:  KRIMMY!

Savana loses his cool and makes a threatening gesture towards Red only to instantly escape the room at the signal call of Red’s blood beast.  With BAMF! out of the room, Krimson Mask appears with his semi-truck shoulders heaving up and down, a wicked and bleeding face sending shivers down the spines of those in attendance.

Little Red:  Are you ready to make your return and show that Jason Gravis just who the monster is around here?

Krimson Mask barely acknowledges Red, rather storming out of the room ready for the next match.

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.  Already in the ring, JOSHANAITOR!!!

”The Crimson” by Atreyu pulsates throughout the arena as it jars the people out of their seats a little bit.

Announcer: And his opponent... Being accompanied to the ring by Little Red, weighing in at an enchanting 316 pounds. Hailing from a Land Far, Far Away, THIS IS... KRRRRRRIMSOOOOOON MASK!!!

A small section of men by the aisle boo Little Red and she barks at them. The camera scans the crowd to gauge the reactions of children, all of whom are crying and ducking down, much like they did for the Undertaker two decades ago.

SoL: My, what big breasts Little Red has!

Phoenix: As you can see, he’s not for all of our viewers, especially the younger set.  Interesting interaction backstage; Little Red didn’t give in to Omega and Savana’s demands backstage.  But when you have Krimson Mask as back-up, you really can get away with anything you want.

SoL: Would you know that this is Krimson Mask’s first match on Insanity since he won the Tag Team Championship with Ham.  That was 13 months ago.

Phoenix: Has it been that long?  Well, Joshanaitor doesn’t seem too intimidated by Mask. We’ll see how the rookie fares against this enigmatic persona. Fans, we want to remind you that we are just two weeks away from Altered Reality 5 which, for all intents and purposes, is the end of a typical LPW season. Never have the stakes been higher for Insanity.  After a less than successful stint on Inferno, Mask is hoping to gain some momentum in this match-up. There is no greater honor than to represent your brand at the most prestigious event of the year! The bell rings and this contest is under way!

SoL: Joshanaitor seems to be waiting for Mask to make a move.  Do I really need to call him Joshanaitor?  What a lame ass name.

Phoenix: In a match like this, it’s important that Joshanaitor dominate early on. If Mask dominates in the beginning, there’s less opening for Joshanaitor’s offense!

Mask takes a swing at Joshanaitor. Joshanaitor ducks behind him.

SoL: Joshanaitor is capitalizing on Krimson Mask’s blindness!

Phoenix: It’s true! According to Little Red’s diary, which she writes in her dieary every Wednesday, Krimson Mask is blind.  SoL, you hanged around with the guy while in the Illuminati.  How does Mask get around, or for a ring for that matter?

SoL: That’s a good question. I can’t say for sure, but from what I’ve heard, it has something to do with a bizarre sixth sense of Mask’s. Joshanaitor with an Irish whip followed by a drop toe hold!

Phoenix: Uh oh! Mask didn’t go down!

Mask grabs Joshanaitor’s face in an iron claw maneuver, backing him into the corner. Joshanaitor ducks out through the ropes as the referee orders Mask to break.

Phoenix: Joshanaitor got a lucky break there as Mask backs out of the corner.

SoL: Joshanaitor is living on bought time.

Phoenix: Joshanaitor taking advantage of Mask’s blindness as he goes to the top rope early in this match! Crossbody off the top!

Mask catches Joshanaitor in mid-air and tosses him up into the air for a flapjack, face first into the mat. He grinds his boot across Joshanaitor’s eyes as he pulls him to his feet.

Phoenix: Mask seems to be toying with Joshanaitor as he tossed him around following the attempted crossbody. Irish whip by Mask. Joshanaitor with a clothesline, Mask KICKS the feeling out of Joshanaitor’s clothesline arm! Joshanaitor whipped into the corner.

SoL: And Joshanaitor dodged the bullet by leaping to the top rope!

Phoenix: JOSHANAITOR WITH A SUNSET FLIP FROM THE TOP ROPE!

Mask grabs the ropes for leverage and drops down, mounting Joshanaitor with punch after punch after punch, leaving him dazed.

SoL: Hahaha! You know what the great thing about that maneuver was? That it didn’t work! It was all for show!

Phoenix: Mask going to the middle rope now as he lifts Joshanaitor off his feet in that vicious hangman’s sleeperhold!

Joshanaitor flails around, trying to pry Mask’s hands away. After a few seconds of struggling, Mask releases, allowing Joshanaitor to drop on his own.

SoL: If I were Joshanaitor, I’d be really focused on taking Mask off his feet! So far, he has yet to accomplish that!

Phoenix: I’m sure he aims to do so as he tries for a second leap frog aaaand... MASK PLANTS HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER IN MID-AIR!

Phoenix: Did you see that raw, uninhibited power from Krimson Mask?

SoL: I would have, but I was too busy watching Josh’s neck muscles spasm.

Phoenix: I truly hope that Joshanaitor is okay after that. It looked like he jammed his neck if you look back at the instant replay... Mask catches Joshanaitor in the middle of a second leap frog, and shakes the ring with that spinebuster with authority.

Krimson Mask forces Joshanaitor’s legs apart and lifts them so that only Joshanaitor’s head rests against the mat.

SoL: Waaait a minute, BP! What’s he going to do here?

Phoenix: I don’t like this, SoL! I don’t like this at all!

Krimson Mask spins in a complete circle within the center of the ring. As he speeds up, the momentum builds. Joshanaitor spins in mid-air with only Mask holding his legs.

Phoenix: Mask swinging Joshanaitor around the ring, using gravity to his twisted advantage! AND HE RELEASES JOSHANAITOR IN MID-FLIGHT!

The impact sends Joshanaitor into the ropes, mangled as he rolls off over the bottom rope, across the apron and to the outside. Joshanaitor’s face is contorted in agony as he holds the back of his rattled head with one hand and clutches his ring burned chest with the other.

SoL: Little Red’s over by Joshanaitor while the ref’s gawking in fear at Mask!

Little Red: Hiya! How ya doin’!?  Wanna be in my movie?  Action!

Joshanaitor looks up at Little Red as he pulls himself to his knees. Little Red takes one those clapperboards and clips it on Joshanaitor by his nose.

Phoenix: And Joshanaitor’s face is bleeding profusely.  What type of general manager do we have!

Little Red arches her back as she tilts her head back and giggles maniacally.  Freaking out, Joshanaitor takes the last of his remaining energy and goes after Little Red.  The Insanity GM starts crying and screaming that she was touched.  Mask takes notice of Little Red outside the ring.

Little Red: NOOO!!! STOP IT!!! YOU’RE HURTING ME! I DON’T WANT THIS! MASK, HEEEELLLP!!!

Mask immediately rushes to her aid as he launches himself over the top rope and tackles Joshanaitor up against the barricade.

Phoenix: Would you look at that? Little Red cries bloody rape, Krimson Mask is going to dole out punishment!

SoL: Joshanaitor shouldn’t have been so close to her! Women have to have their space! Especially one as vulnerable as Little Red!

Phoenix: Will you stop looking at the world through pinpoint glasses and open your eyes for a second?

SoL:  Does the New Breed looks like a nerd to you?  Do nerds have a Martinez Cup and multiple World Heavyweight Championships to their resume?

Krimson Mask gets Joshanaitor up for a chokeslam and deposits him crotch first across the barricade as an eager fan, wearing a backwards baseball cap and an Insanity t-shirt pats Joshanaitor on the shoulder. Mask backs up and knocks Joshanaitor off the barricade with a big boot.

Little Red: GET HIM, KRIMMY! HE TRIED TO STEAL MY INNOCENCE!

At each of Red’s urgings, Mask pummels Joshanaitor harder. A thick trail of blood like syrup oozes down from Joshanaitor’s cracked lower lip as Mask shows absolutely no reprieve.

Phoenix: What innocence? This has become disturbing... And Joshanaitor’s lip has been busted!

SoL: He’s a big boy, BP! He can take care of himself!

Phoenix: Little Red is searching for something under the ring now as Mask returns to the ring with his opponent. I can’t imagine what they have in mind here!

Little Red removes a table from under the ring and begins to set it up on the outside.

Phoenix: It can’t be! It can’t be!

SoL: THIS IS IT! GET A BODYBAG!

Mask drags Joshanaitor up by his hair. Joshanaitor tumbles backward, his knee twisting at an odd angle as he is so weak he can’t hold himself up. Mask tries again, dragging Joshanaitor up by the hair and the scruff of his neck. Mask grabs Joshanaitor by the face and digs into his eyes.

Phoenix: GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD, STOP THIS! THIS ISN’T A CONTEST ANYMORE!

Mask lifts Joshanaitor up only by those gouged eyes as blood runs down Joshanaitor’s face from his sockets. He screams through gurgled blood at the back of his throat.

Phoenix: Krimson Mask has Joshanaitor in powerbomb position, but he’s only holding him by those gouged eyes!

Mask runs across the ring and releases Joshanaitor with The End powerbomb from the ring through the table below. The impact is so profound that we hear Phoenix vomit off screen.

Phoenix: That’s enough! Stop this contest! (waves his arms) This is over! This isn’t wrestling any more!

Little Red places her thumbs in her ears and sticks her tongue out, giving Phoenix the raspberry as Krimson Mask stares down at the broken, battered body of Joshanaitor outside the ring. When the referee counts to ten, he signals for the bell.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of your match as a result of a count out... KRRRIMSOOOON MASK![/i]

Krimson Mask (2.30 avs + 3.87 aps = 6.17 total)
Joshanaitor (0.30 aps + 0.00 aps = 0.30 total)


”The Crimson” plays as Mask and Little Red consider punishing Joshanaitor some more, but before they can even reach him, the referee and members of the EMT squad rush in and take him out before Mask can do any further damage.

Phoenix: The referee is checking on Joshanaitor now on the outside. I hope the young man is in one piece.

SoL: I’m not worried about Joshanaitor! I’m more worried about you vomiting again!  Shit man.

Joshanaitor looks around, wiping the blood stains from the corners of his glassy eyes.  The EMT flashes a pinpoint flashlight into his eyes, but Joshanaitor’s eyes don’t follow the light.

SoL:  If this is what Mask is capable of, what is he going to do against Jason Gravis at Insane Asylum?

Phoenix:  I don’t know SoL.  I really don’t know.

The scene opens with all three Revelations members Joe Michaels, MC Steel and Richard Michaels, with their valets Dylon Michaels and Katie Jones, standing in front of an Insanity banner.

Joe: Welcome. As many of you know me by now, my name is Joseph Michaels, leader of Revelations. I am here to speak to you, the LPW universe. I am here to tell you our plans. Our plan is to take what rightfully is ours, the Undisputed Tag Team titles. We want to become number one contenders but to do that, we have to rise up the ranks and compete for every single tag team match as if our careers depend on them.

We see in the background Richard Michaels rolling his eyes with disagreement. Joe notices this and faces him.

Joe: You see Rich, at Insane Asylum. We have a personal score to settle so with that in mind, as everyone is already aware by now. Our match will be a Last Man Standing match and I hope for your sake, you get some health insurance brother because it’s going to be one insane match.

MC Steel snatches the microphone away from Joe and faces the camera.

MC Steel: Watchmen, be on notice. We have a match against you, Andy Savana and Dante Odaih who myself and Richard have no idea who he is at all. You maybe mentors but in this match, we will put your teachings to the test and for that, we anticipate a good fight...

We see Richard in the background asking for a microphone.

MC Steel: ...as for our attempts to raise the ranks of Tag Team glory, we are ready for anything and everything. Whatever gimmick we get thrown straight at us, we will capitalize on it and take very opportunity that comes with it.

Richard: Oh believe me, when the time comes, we will be Undisputed Tag Team Champions but right now we are focusing our efforts on our Eight Man Tag Team match, which will be happening...TONIGHT!! and our partners alongside ourselves will be...?

MC Steel: Jason Gravis and Hatchet Ryda.

Richard: All I can say now is...are you ready?

Richard drops the microphone onto the floor as all the members of Revelations leave.

When Revelations exit, a loud bang is heard. The camera is swung to the left to see Andy Savana smashing a lead pipe into Hatchet Ryda’s skull. Blackwell is shown calling for help in the background. Then he grabs Savana and throws him back.

Blackwell: What are you doing!

Savana answers by smashing Blackwell with the pipe. Two referees grab Savana and knock the pipe out of his hands.

Savana: Red thinks she can take away my match!  Huh?  Well what is she gonna do when her main eventer is gone!  Ha HA HA!

The referees and Savana start to walk away, but at the last moment, as Hatchet starts to sit up, Savana hits a knee trembler to knock the former Heavyweight Champion out.

Referee: What are you doing!

Savana: Protecting Insanity.  Ha HAHAHA!!

SoL: Doesn’t look like it’s going to be an 8-man tag now!

Phoenix: I can’t believe the gall of Andy Savana.  Hatchet Ryda beat him fair and square to their feud at Epic.  It was over.  Now this???  I can’t believe it.  All because Little Red canned his match against a bunch of flakers?

SoL:  Well, if Hatchet is out, what does that do for his chances at Insane Asylum?

Phoenix:  I don’t know, but for the love of God, he better be okay. Otherwise, I can tell already that Savana is gonna petition to get another chance at the World title.

“Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas hits as Jason Gravis, MC Steel and Richard Michaels appear at the top of the entrance ramp.

Announcer: The following is an 8-Man…er… 7-Man Elimination Tag Team match! Heading to the ring, at a combined weight of 675 pounds, THIS IS… REVELATIONS’ MC STEEL AND RICHARD MICHAELS ALONG WITH JASON GRAVIS!!!

Phoenix: Without Hatchet, Gravis and Revelations seem like underdogs in this match.

“Bullet With Butterfly Wings” by Smashing Pumpkins hits as Andy Savana appears comes out to the entrance way with the pipe, laughing at what just occurred backstage.  Soon enough, Dante Odiah and the Watchmen’s Justus and Black Reaper come out.
 
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 897 pounds, THIS IS… DANTE ODIAH, JUSTUS AND BLACK REAPER OF THE WATCHMEN, AND ANDY SAVANA!!!

SoL: Well they’re in for a battle here. A former Hardcore Champion, two former tag team champions and a very impressive rookie.

Phoenix: Well let’s get this match underway. Looks like Steel and Reaper are going to start here.

SoL: Steel doesn’t look very happy about the match-up.

Phoenix: Steel and Reaper lock-up. Steel swings Reaper around and locks in a sleeper hold, but Reaper powers out.

Reaper looks at Steel with a smile on his face. Reaper and Steel lock up again. This time, Reaper gains the upper hand and hits an arm drag.

SoL: Reaper hits a swift arm drag.  Reaper irish-whips Steel towards the ropes and hits a kneeling belly-to-belly piledriver.

Phoenix: He goes for the cover…1…2…kickout at two!

SoL: Steel hits a hurricanrana. He knocks Justus off the ring apron. Odiah tags himself in.

Phoenix: What is he doing?

SoL: He sprints towards Steel, but Steel hits are reverse piledriver!

Phoenix: Steel is on the top rope… he goes for his signature 360° spinning splash… Odiah rolls out of the way!

SoL: Odiah hits a discus clothesline then hits a corkscrew roundhouse kick.

Odiah goes for a double chickenwing german suplex, but Steel spins out landing on his feet.

Phoenix: Odiah goes for the Rapture, but he landed on his feet! Steel hits a shuffle kick and makes a tag to Michaels.

Michaels steps in the ring and lifts Odiah on his shoulders, while Steel climbs up to the top-rope. Steel signals the crowd, as Revelations hit an electric chair/diving cutter.

Phoenix: SAINTS JUDGEMENT! Steel tags himself in!

SoL: But he just went out!

Phoenix: Steel covers…1…2…3!

Announcer: Dante Odiah has been eliminated!

Before Steel can celebrate, Savana gets in the ring and hits an enziguri.

Phoenix: Savana hits an enziguri! He goes for a clothesline, but Steel ducks. Steel goes for a DDT, but Savana catches him.

SoL: Steel wraps his legs around his waist.

Phoenix: Looks like he’s going for a front facelock/bodyscissors combination.

SoL: Steel is wearing Savana down.

Savana struggles to stay conscious, but he summands all his strength and suplexes Steel, but he lands on his feet, still holding onto Savana’s jaw.

Phoenix: Steel is taking advantage to every opportunity! Steel hits a neckbreaker!

SoL: Steel makes a tag to Michaels. He hits a spinning heel kick!

Phoenix: Michaels climbs up to the top-rope… TORNADO BACKFLIP… Savana rolls out of the way!

SoL: Savana kicks Michaels in the stomach and hits a reverse suplex.

Phoenix: Savana goes for the cover…1…2…TH…KICKOUT!

SoL: Michaels rolls under Savana’s clothesline and makes a tag to Gravis.

Phoenix: Gravis hits a running knee, then a scoop slam.

SoL: Savana is back on his feet. Gravis hits a roundhouse kick to the leg, knocking him his knees.

Phoenix: Gravis connects with a large right hand to the jaw.

SoL: I think he’s going for the Jus In Bello.

Phoenix: Gravis goes for a knee to the face, but Savana dodges!

SoL: Savana headbutts Gravis.

Savana tags in Reaper which Gravis doesn’t see, but both Justus and Reaper step into the ring.

Phoenix: Gravis clotheslines Savana over the top-rope… Justus grabs Gravis… FINAL JUDGEMENT!

SoL: Reaper locks in the Confession!

Phoenix: GRAVIS TAPS! GRAVIS TAPS!

Announcer: Jason Gravis has been eliminated!

SoL: Both Revelations members step in the ring.

Phoenix: Looks like a teacher vs student moment here.

Before the teams can clash, an angry Krimson Mask steps in the ring and attacks a hurt Gravis.

SoL: Krimson Mask! That’s my man!

Phoenix: What the hell is he doing?!

SoL: He’s picking up the scraps.

Krimson Mask picks up Gravis and places him between his legs. In a fluid motion, Mask hits The End, throwing him over the top-rope.

SoL: MASK HITS THE END!

Phoenix: I still question why he’s allowed in this company. Revelations and Watchmen watch on in horror.

Several referees pack in the ring and grab hold of Mask and drag him out of the ring, while paramedics attend to Gravis, who is completely knocked out.

Phoenix: Steel and Justus trade blows, as Reaper and Michaels battle it out.

SoL: Steel hits a shuffle kick, Michaels hits a heel kick… DOUBLE SUPERKICK BY REVELATIONS!

Phoenix: Steel and Michaels bounce off the ropes… DOUBLE PHOENIX PLANCHA!

SoL: Revelations take down their mentors!

Phoenix: Michaels throws Reaper back in the ring. Steel steps back up onto the apron, Justus grabs his leg… MUAI THAI KICK TO THE HEAD!

SoL: I think he’s knocked out!

Phoenix: Michaels and Reaper are in the ring. Michaels hits a fisherman suplex!

SoL: Michaels picks Reaper up and irish-whips towards the ropes.

Phoenix: Reaper bounces back… TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!

SoL: Reaper goes for a clothesline, Michaels ducks… WHISPER IN THE WIND!!

Phoenix: Cover…1…2…THR…KICKOUT!! So close.

Michaels  sprints to the turnbuckle and attempts a springboard crossbody, but Reaper catches him in mid-air and hits a fall away slam.

SoL: Fall away slam! Michaels rolls out of the ring.

Phoenix: Michaels is back up on the ring apron. Reaper goes for a clothesline, but Michaels reverses with kick to the gut. Steel flies over Reaper and goes for the sunset flip.

SoL: 1…2…KICKOUT!

Phoenix: Reaper is back up. Michaels hits a dropsault, knocking Reaper into the turnbuckle.

SoL: Reaper makes a tag to Savana.

Phoenix: Savana goes for a clothesline, Michaels ducks, Michaels goes for a crossbody… SAVANA HITS A POWERSLAM!

Savana picks Michaels back up and attempts a powerbomb, but at the last second, Michael swiftly locks in the kimura.

SoL: Michaels locks in the kimura!

Phoenix: Savana is struggling to stay conscious. Savana drags himself towards the bottom rope.

SoL: He’s nearly there… he’s got it.

Phoenix: Michaels releases the lock. Michaels makes a tag to Steel.

Steel climbs up the turnbuckle and waits for Savana to get to his feet.

SoL: I think I know what’s going to happen here.

Phoenix: WEST COAST SMOKER! Steel covers…1…2…KICKOUT!

SoL: Steel picks Savana back up. Kick to the gut, bounce off the ropes… corkscrew scissor kick!

Phoenix: Steel climbs up the turnbuckle once again. He goes for a moonsault… SAVANA ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!

SoL: Savana goes for a clothesline, Steel ducks… STEEL MAKES A TAG TO MICHAELS!

Michaels hits a forearm smash. When Savana hits then ground, he covers his face, blood dripping from his fingers.

Phoenix: I think he broke his nose!

While EMT and a referre standing by assist Savana, Joe Michaels is seen climbing through the crowd.

SoL: Joe Michaels? What’s he doing here?

Joe slides into the ring and meets eye to eye with his brother. Richard mouths “What are you doing here?”, with Joe replying “To talk to you, brother.” Richard turns his back, but Joe grabs his shoulder and spins him around, blowing a huge fireball in his face.

SoL: FIREBALL! FIREBALL!!

Phoenix: Why did he do that? To his own brother!

Steel, Justus and Reaper aid Richard, while Michaels escapes through the crowd, fans booing and hissing.

Phoenix: I can’t believe he did that!

SoL: It is Insanity.

Savana pushes a referre out of his way and makes a cover. When the referre doesn’t count, Savana threatens him.

Phoenix: Savana covers…1…2…3.

Announcer: Richard Michaels has been eliminated!

SoL: Steel is on the turnbuckle…DIVING SPEAR!

Phoenix: He sprints towards the ropes, springboard moonsault, now a shooting start press!

SoL: He covers…1…2…kickout!

Phoenix: Savana makes a tag to Reaper. Reaper goes for a clothesline, Steel ducks, he goes for a moonsault...

Before Steel can leave the ropes, Reaper rushes up and german suplexes Steel, throwing him over his head.

Phoenix: My god, I think he broke his neck.

SoL: Cover…1…2…KICKOUT!

Phoenix: Steel is back on his feet, holding his head and smiling.

SoL: Steel hits a shuffle kick…he jumps…double foot stomp!

Phoenix: Steel signals the crowd, moonsault forearm drop! He covers…1…2…KICKOUT!

SoL: Steel climbs up the turnbuckle… Reaper knocks his leg out from under him!

Phoenix: Reaper spins Steel, he jerks him out…DDT!

SoL: Reaper covers…1…2…THRE…STEEL KICKS OUT!

Phoenix: Reaper irish-whips Steel into the turnbuckle and tags in Justus.

Reaper and Justus irish-whips Steel into the ring ropes. When Steel bounces back, the Watchmen go for a double elbow, but Steel ducks, and springboards off the ropes, hitting a springboard clothesline.

SoL: Steel reverses!

Phoenix: He irish-whips Justus into the turnbuckle. Then Reaper. He sprints… SHINING WIZARD!

SoL: Now a double cutter! He completes Flash Magic!

Phoenix: Steel goes for a big boot… REAPER REVERSES… THE REPENTANCE!

SoL: Justus is up… LAST LAUGH.

Phoenix: 1…2…3!!

Announcer: MC Steel has been eliminated!  Therefore, your winners and survivors, AAAANNNDDDDYYYY SAVAAAANAAA AND THE WAAAAAATTTCCCHHMMEEEENNN!!!

Andy Savana, Justus, Black Reaper, and Dante Odiah (1.70 avs + 3.77 aps + 3.99 aps + 3.70 aps + 3.24 aps = 16.40 total)
Hatchet Ryda, Jason Gravis, Richard Michaels, and MC Steel (1.00 avs + 0.00 aps + 3.25 aps + 3.63 aps + 3.71 aps = 11.59 total)


SoL: What a match that was! Only Savana and the Watchmen remained.

Before the winners can celebrate, "El Corazon del Guerrero" by Tierra Santa hits as Mass Chaos makes his way onto the stage.

Mass Chaos: Hello, Watchmen. Remember me? It’s your good old friend, Mass Chaos! I just felt like coming out here to speak to you, Reaper.

Reaper slowly walks up to the ropes, glaring at Chaos.

Mass Chaos: See, Reaper, at Altered Reality V, The Watchmen will face the Misfits. And I think I need a “warm up”, if you can even call it that. And, Reaper, I choose you. You and me, Insane Asylum. How ‘bout it?

Reaper grabs the microphone from the announcer and starts to walk up the entrance ramp.

Reaper: So you want a match. A warm up, you say. Well, let’s do it. But I’ll wear you down. Then the Watchmen will regain our tag team titles. Because God is on our side. You don’t have to love it, but you better accept it.

Reaper slams the mic on the ramp then walks backstage.

SoL: Well a match we’ve had! And now we have a match for Insane Asylum!

Phoenix: Not to mention a fireball.

SoL: You like balls, don’t you?

Monroe is flanked by his two friends SOS and Fro-Bob. All three men are in Armani suits and wearing Rolex’s.

Crotchman:  Well so far Insanity has been one hell of a show.  Now I am with everyone’s favorite man to hate Monroe.  Monroe……

Monroe:  Crotchman it is simple, this isn’t the time to ask questions. It is time for you to hold the mic and listen to what the most important men on Insanity have to say.

See one day this gentleman right here came up to me. He says Monroe I got this idea, let’s bring tradition back to Insanity. Let’s bring true prestige back to Insanity. He says, “Steve, let’s bring honor back to Insanity”.  So I look at him and I say “ You know Fro-Bob your on to something. All we need is the right type of people to pull this off”

Then a few weeks later the Big man next to me here SOS comes up to me he says “Monroe I am hearing you loud and clear man, I want in.” You know what I do Crotchman, I open the doors as wide as I can for the big man and look what happens he gets his shot at Ash, and I get to face a former Heavyweight Champion in X.

Crotchman:  That didn’t turn out too well tonight…

Shockey and Monroe look down at Crotchman with a pissed look.

Crotchman:  …for Ben Starr.

Monroe:  People our hearing us Crotchman.  People are reacting.  They see what we represent. The boys in the back are taking notice and heeding our warning. They understand excellence when they see it, they know greatness when in its presence.

So here we are Crotchman in Boise, Idaho. Do you know how men like us travel to a dump like this?

Crotchman:  How is that?

Monroe:  Well we hop in our G-4 funded by Fro-Bob here.  We fly down to Vegas, and wearing the best suits money can buy, we have one hell of a time.  We drive fast cars and find fast women, we whine and dine. Party all night long like only true champions can. Then today we flew from Vegas plane full of dancers, have our driver pick us up in a limo and drive us straight here.  Plane is still warm so we don’t have to be here any longer than we absolutely need to. Then when SOS is the T.A. Champion, leaving Ash broken and beaten, we fly right back to Vegas and party some more. Leer jets and limousines is what true champions have, Armani suits Rolex watches and top dollar sunglasses is what champions wear.

Monroe, Fro-Bob, and SOS walk off.

 Phoenix: Here we go with the second of three highly anticipated title matches! We are about to have the rematch of Son of Shockey and Crazy Ash Killa.

SoL: Last time these two faced was at the LPW Insanity LIVE X-Mas Special and man, was that a scary match to watch.

Phoenix: Not really as it wasn’t till the end when we saw Ash Strife wasn’t right in the head or fully reformed as he claimed he wanted to be.

SoL: BP… Strife killed him plain and simple I swear Shockey was dead after that match. Just thinking of that beating makes me glad I am retired.

Phoenix: Now in Shockey’s defense he was playing it very cocky with a man that is over a foot taller and has over 150 pounds on him. Shockey has proven himself to be more dangerous then ever and if he can keep on the move and not try to make this into a slugfest then he has a very good shot of walking out the new LPW Transatlantic Champion.

SoL: Ok, all I am saying is I hope Shockey has a good doctor lined up for this because the New Breed says he will get his clock cleaned.

Phoenix: Your just angry that Shockey beat you last year around this time with your special Inferno challenge.

SoL: The New Breed was distracted… this woman in the first row was flashing her rack-

Phoenix: No there wasn’t He beat you fair and square!

SoL: That’s not the way the New Breed remembers it.

Phoenix: Shut up… now lets get this match underway

Announcer: The following contest is for one fall and is for the LPW TRANSATLANTIC CHAMPIONSHIP!


Announcer: Introducing the challenger…


"This Devil's Workday" by Modest Mouse blast over the speakers as Son of Shockey steps through the rope with a cocky look on his face. Wearing a “Hurricane Shockey Destroys the Transatlantic” T shirt over his wrestling gear, Shockey makes his way down to the ring.

Mike Announcer: Weighing in at 255 pounds hailing from Miami, Florida he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON OF SHOCKEY!!!

Shockey stops half way down the ramp and climbs under the ring.

SoL: What is Shockey thinking?

Phoenix: Who knows but he must have a plan.

Announcer: And his opponent. He weighs in at 425ibs, hailing from parts unknown and is the reigning LPW Transatlantic Champion. Representing the Three Wise Men… THIS IS…  CRAAAAAAAAAZY ASH KILLA!!!

The lights go out in the arena.


“Let Us Slay” by GWAR blast over the sound system as an explosion of pyro brings the lights back on as CAK storms through the curtains with a purpose. Dragging the Transatlantic title behind him he makes it half way down the ramp when Monroe comes blasting out from the curtain and drills CAK in the back causing the big man to stumble forward.

Phoenix: Ok Monroe on the attack way before this match between Shockey and CAK takes place. Ash turns around and drills Monroe had with a fist knocking the other big man down. Monroe quickly gets back to his feet and he tackles CAK. CAK gets knocked into the ring apron.

SoL: Monroe is going for the Transatlantic title!

Phoenix: Monroe winds back and drills CAK in the face and knocks the big man down! That would be a DQ if this were a match but until CAK and Shockey enter the ring this is all fair game. Do you think Shockey put Monroe up to this?

SoL: Well duh.  The two seemed to form an alliance, but besides Monroe has been calling out CAK like an idiot for God knows how long?

Phoenix: Monroe is on top of CAK and is punching him in the head over and over again.  CAK throws Monroe off and gets to his feet. Monroe has gotten first blood here tonight as CAK looks to be bleeding over his right eye… Here comes Shockey!

Shockey drills CAK in the back with a steel chair but seems to barley fazing the big man. Shockey swings again as Monroe wings with a haymaker and CAK falls back. CAK counter attacks with a fast punch to cause Shockey to drop the chair. CAK grabs Shockey with one hand and Monroe with the other hand and drives them face to face dazing both men long enough to drop Shockey and allow CAK to turn his attention to Monroe. CAK dumps Monroe into the first row and turns his attention to Shockey. Shockey has the title belt and hits a flying charge at CAK to knock the giant down. The Ref grabs the belt from Shockey and orders him into the ring. CAK quickly gets up and follows suit and the Ref finally calls for the bell.

Phoenix: Finally this match is underway. CAK trying to get to his feet and Shockey with a quick dropkick to the hands to keep the big man down.

SoL: With that pre-match attack from Monroe, Shockey is in a good place right now. Keep the big man off his feet and don’t let him build momentum.

Phoenix: CAK doesn’t let this keep him down as he quickly gets up. Shockey goes for the truck stick and bounces right off of CAK! This doesn’t look good here as CAK bounces himself off of the ropes hits a shoulder tackle of his own and Shockey goes down hard!

SoL: I want to know if Shockey got the license plate of the semi that just ran him down.

Phoenix: CAK picks up Shockey to hoist him up in the air and looking for that planting spine buster! Look!  Shockey using his smaller size to turn in mid air and uses CAK’s momentum against him and a thunderous DDT by Shockey plants CAK! Shockey goes for the first pin fall of this match

One…
Tw-Kick out by CAK!

SoL: Look at the blood, that didn’t help CAK at all as he is wearing a crimson mask of his own. No pun intended from our very own blood beast. But I do wonder one thing?

Phoenix: What’s that?

SoL: Notice how when Shockey and Monroe were attacking CAK that the other two Wise Men were nowhere to be seen?

Phoenix: Who knows maybe they figured CAK could handle the situation? After all, CAK was able to handle both Rabbi and Pope Fred when he won the Transatlantic Championship. But speaking of Monroe, where did he go? We never saw him run up stage or get up after being dumped over the barricade.

SoL: Who knows where he went, but you would think the Wise Men would have loved to flex some muscle if I know X and Vil the way I do.

Phoenix: True but then again look how fast CAK regained control of the situation. Shockey runs and dives between CAK’s legs. CAK drops!

SoL: Such a blatant low blow

Phoenix: And the ref is arguing about that but Shockey keeps saying he hit his lower abdominal area.

SoL: But this is giving CAK a minute, not that he needs it… BANG!

Phoenix: AND CAK DRILLS SOS OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A RUNNING BIG BOOT! Shockey doesn’t no where he is and CAK is signaling for the end pretty fast here. He picks up Shockey and sets him up for a Strife Spike! He lifts and Shockey sun set flips right over CAK and he tries to get him into a roll up.

SoL: That’s not going to happen. CAK is waaaaay too big.

Phoenix: You are right partner as CAK reaches down and lifts him up for a massive choke slam and drills him to the mat. CAK covers!

One…
Two…

Little Red: Red light Mr. Zebra!

The ref doesn’t go for the third drop of his hand. As general manager Little Red steps through the curtain with a microphone in one hand and a magic wand in the other, hearing boos in all directions.

Little Red: Oh boy this is so much fun to see my buddy play with Shockey but I thought about something while playing with my dollies… I really want to see a cage match… like really want to see one, so I use my genie magic manager powers to make this a cage match.  Voilia! 

Little Red swings her magic wand and suddenly a steel cage descends to the ring.

Little Red: I’m like the Fairy Godmother.  You see I had a bet with the gingerbread man that CAKEY can escape from the cage before Shockey and he called me nuts… it wasn’t nice but anyways, escape only is the rules… YAY!

Phoenix: WOW huge change of scenery as the cage lowers around the ring.

SoL: Now Red either signed Shockey’s death warrant or the end of CAK’s title reign as I don’t believe CAK can climb the cage to escape.

Phoenix: There is always the door…

SoL: CAK is a monster, he won’t take the easy way out.

Shockey looks around as a cage is around the ring and has a look of confusion.

Phoenix: And look at that sick smile on the face of CAK! Shockey gets up and a vicious short arm clothesline knocks Shockey into the next week. CAK yanks Shockey up and hoists Shockey up on his shoulders and presses Shockey in the air he has to be at least 10 feet off the ground and CAK DRIVES SHOCKEY ONTO HIS KNEE! Oh just thinking about that makes me want to puke.

SoL: CAK doesn’t even try to escape. He is planning to use this present in disguise from Little Red to really punish Shockey.

Phoenix: CAK scoops up the winded Shockey and he has evil intensions here as he places Shockey onto his shoulder and NO! Shockey gets lawn darted head first into the steel cage.

SoL:And look at the blood as both men are bleeding here. Now remember in the war of Man vs. Steel… Steel always wins. Wait, what’s that?

Shockey is seen grabbing something from a hand coming from the side of the ring.

Phoenix: CAK approaches Shockey and grabs him by the back of the head to pull him up to his feet. He spins Shockey around and CAK goes stumbling back.

SoL: What the fu-

Phoenix: And Shockey is attacking CAK now swinging violently with a chain of right hands and CAK goes down.  Wait a minute… no Shockey has brass knuckles on.

SoL: And here come the Wise Men!

X and Villiano 187 run down the ramp. X with his chair and Villaino with a chain and padlock. As Shockey tries to make his way to the door, X intercepts and swings his chair wildly to prevent the door from being used and Villaino uses this moment to lock the cage door shut.

Phoenix: The door has been locked out and Shockey now must climb to escape the cage if he plans to win the Transatlantic title here.

SoL: Shockey is looking around the cage for a place to climb but with the Wise Men circling the cage like sharks, this isn’t how Shockey wants this match to be going especially with CAK down for a moment.

Phoenix: Wait, look Villaino takes a dive under the ring. Think they found Monroe?

Villaino slowly slides out of the ring and he has a leg and a look a shock on his face as he drags the culprit out that gave Shockey the brass knuckles.

SoL:HA! Its LOU! we haven’t seen him since Epic. And the look on Vil’s face is priceless.  I think the shock value alone made Vil drop him and Lou bolts out of there… watch out behind you little man!

Phoenix: X cold cocks Lou with the chair and this doesn’t look good at all. And look at Shockey as he is still focused on trying to escape.

SoL: Only he is forgetting about something… a big something.

Phoenix: Your right partner as Shockey backs up and he bumps in to something and his eyes go wide. Wait what is this?

As Shockey realizes CAK is up and behind him security rushes from back stage at the orders of the ref to get X, Villaino and Lou away from ringside. Before Villaino leaves he slides something shiny between the bars.

Phoenix: Well now that the confusion is away, CAK spins Shockey around and whips him into a corner. CAK takes moments and splashes Shockey in-between his massive frame and the steel ring post. CAK backs up to do it again and it hit. He backs up once more and Shockey may be hurt here… Shockey dodges and CAK collides with the steel cage! He stumbles back and Shockey jumps to the top rope and missile dropkick to CAK! CAK is down again. CAK is starting to sit up and Shockey is using the cage to climb half way and balance him self on the top rope.

SoL: I will admit, I am shocked at Shockey’s ability to stay alive here.

Phoenix: Shockey leaps as Ash gets up and ASH CATCHES HIM IN MID AIR… FALLING FROM GRACE … FALLING FROM GRACE Shockey gets drilled to the mat with that tilt a whirl choke slam. Ash covers. He must have forgot there is no pin fall in this match and I think he gets the message as the ref yells to him from outside of the cage.

SoL: Well Ash is looking at the cage, now if a ladder at AR4 couldn’t hold his weight when he used to weigh 365 but now at a whooping 425, I’m not too sure this will go too well for Ash here.

Phoenix: Well Ash starts to climb and he spots Shockey starting to get up and Ash stops climbing and he has a big grin and Ash charges and OMG he just punted Shockey hard enough to send him from the ground to the side of the cage. Shockey falls and is tangled in the ropes. Ash again starts to climb and he gets a quarter of the way up when he stops. Looks like the big man doesn’t like how he is balancing on the cage and he starts to climb back down but LOOK AT SHOCKEY! He unhooked himself and he is almost at the top of the cage. CAK just realized Shockey is up there and he turns to go and stop him but what is this?!?

A portion of the ring canvas rips open and Monroe pops out and he grabs Ash by both legs to prevent him from stepping as Shockey slowly climbs down the cage laughing.

Phoenix: Monroe must have gotten under the ring during all of the confusion and Shockey is almost down to the floor we have a new champion here.

Little Red: Tee hee hee, Shockey why are you running away. You see, I was talking with Gingy again and we settled our argument.  I changed my mind, so the winner has to win by pin or submission only.

Phoenix: WHOA What is Red doing and Shockey is furious as he climbs up to the top of the cage again and look CAK has broken free of Monroe. Like a wicked game of whack-a-mole he stops Monroe in the head to knock him back into the hole. CAK steps forward and-

The crowd breaks off into a holy shit cant as Shockey leaps off the top of the cage with a Category 5.

Phoenix: SHOCKEY WITH A CATIGORY 5 OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! HE COLLIDES WITH ASH AND BOTH MEN HIT THE MAT. BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!

SoL: Why are you yelling?

Phoenix: Neither man is moving as the ref is trying to get into the cage to check on both of these warriors. Finally the cage is raised just enough for the ref to check on both men. Again I repeat neither man is moving here as the ref is starting a 10 count. Shockey went all out and leapt like a kamikaze bomber to take out the battleship that is CAK.

One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Five…
Six…


Shockey begins to stir a little and spots CAK still laid out. He begins to crawl.

Seven…

Shockey makes it to CAK and collapses on top of him. The ref dives in for the pin.

One…
Two…
Thre-Last second kick out by CAK!

Phoenix: Did you see that CAK still shows life but notice how he didn’t power out and just got his shoulder up. Shockey has a great chance of winning gold here tonight and no matter the outcome there HAS to be follow up match to cause I am shocked.

SoL: Shockey better not win this, the New Breed has bet good money that not only will CAK defend the belt tonight but will go to Altered Reality 5 and smash the new Western States Heritage Champion Sheepster.

Phoenix: By the sound of your voice your kind of bitter that Sheepster won his first single title.

SoL: The New Breed should have been the one to end Maxwell’s streak, not that clown.

Phoenix: Well with the way that match ended it is clear that Maxwell didn’t really lose fairly.  No man has been able to put him down cleanly.

SoL: Wait, I know AR5 is coming up but why are we wasting valuable TV time talking about the F-Show on the A-Brand.

Phoenix: Hmmm maybe because we are trying to hype the Transatlantic champion vs. the Western States Heritage champion…wait did you say F –Show?

SoL: Inferno is the ‘F-Show” for it fails to matter in the New Breed’s Eye.

Phoenix: Regardless and I can’t believe I’m saying this but you’re right.  Back to the action of this intense match. Oh here comes Monroe again from the hole in the ring and he has a chair! Ash is fighting this thing two on one pretty much.

SoL: X… Villaino… get back out here!

Monroe drives the chair into the midsection of CAK and raises the chair again to smash it on top of his head but CAK counter attacks with a monstrous spear causing the ring to shake a little. The chair goes flying and Shockey guns for it. He bends down to pick up the chair and he feels that a presence behind him. Shockey spins around and CAK locks in massive Iron Claw.

Phoenix: CAK has that huge Iron Claw locked onto Shockey and that isn’t helping his bleeding at all. Wait CAK spots something. He drops the hold and goes for the object… CAK has a pair of Handcuffs. He picks them up and goes back to Shockey… a huge side walk slam to Shockey and CAK drags Shockey to the side of the cage.

SoL: What is he doing?

Phoenix: CAK has hand cuffed Shockey to the cage. CAK backs up and he bends down to swipe his fist across the mat. Oh my God he is calling for the Bull charge… Come on Ref stop this… NO CAK CHARGES!

CAK smashes into Shockey at full force and the combines impact causes not only for Shockey to get sandwiched in-between the cage and CAK but for the side of the cage Shockey is cuffed to be dislodged from the rest of the cage and sends both Shockey and CAK over the top rope. Shockey appears all broken and mangled and still attached to the cage as the ring crew and a medic run down to free Shockey from the cage and to check on him. As soon as the chain is cut via bolt cutters CAK sits up and starts to clear away the ring crew till he is standing over Shockey.

Phoenix: Monroe is up and he is in disbelief that a side of the cage is missing. He climbs to the top rope and axe handles CAK in the back of the neck. CAK stumbles forward. Monroe turns CAK around and HUGE BODY SLAM ONTO THE BROKEN STEEL CAGE CAK rolls in pain as Monroe goes to check on his partner. Monroe drags Shockey into the ring and Shockey is yelling for Monroe to get CAK into the ring quickly.

SoL: Well looks like we are going to have a new champion right here.

Phoenix: Monroe gets CAK into the ring and Shockey tells him to leave. What a glory hog as he falls on top of CAK. CAK starts to get up and Shockey hits the Play of the Day to plant CAK to the mat.

One…
Two…
Thre-CAK GRABS SHOCKEY BY THE THROAT AND SITS UP!

Phoenix: CAK is wise after all as he was playing possum. He stands up and still holding Shockey by the neck he turns and sends Shockey flying into another side of the cage. And he isn’t letting up…

SoL: Look at his eyes… Heeeee’s baaaack

Phoenix: CAK is on top on Shockey and swinging with those heavy fist after heavy fist.  Shockey is trying to get CAK off of him by throwing counter punches but they aren’t fazing the bigger man. CAK finally gets off of Shockey and yanks him to his feet… Spine Buster! CAK covers.

One…
Two…
Thre-Shockey barley kicks out!

Phoenix: Shockey just stay down for your own good.

SoL: Idiot doesn’t know what is good for him but I can say he really wants that belt.

Phoenix: CAK just smiles as he picks up Shockey and places him in a tree of woe position. With the blood pouring like it is this can’t be good for Shockey. And CAK is unloading those quick yet powerful punches to the gut of Shockey before taking a few steps back and CAK charges and drops a massive elbow to the face of Shockey. He has got to be out. The Ref tries to check on Shockey but CAK grabs the ref by the shirt and throws him across the ring. Shockey looks out of it as CAK rips Shockey from the corner and sets up a Strife Spike CAK lifts Shockey… he spins and-

Another Holy Shit chant breaks out as CAK drives Shockey through the ring it self due to the damage the ring has taken so far and Monroe already damaging the canvas to break through.

Phoenix: SHOCKEY JUST GOT PUT THROUGH THE RING!

SoL: CAK just reaches into the whole and yanks Shockey out of the new hole.

Phoenix: CAK literally just noodled Shockey out of the hole. CAK covers!

 One…
Two…
Three!

Mike Announcer: Here is your winner and Still LPW Transatlantic Champion… CRAAAAAAAAAZY ASH KILLA!!!

Ash Strife (1.70 avs + 4.00 aps = 5.70 total)
Son of Shockey (1.00 avs + 3.80 aps = 4.80 total)


Phoenix: Medical and the ring crew are checking on Shockey here as CAK just lets out a sick laugh and NO Monroe is back and he has the Transatlantic Title. He drills CAK in the head and lays the big man out. Monroe has a microphone.

Monroe Ash can you hear me? You see this win of yours was a fraud so that is why I will be holding on to your “Transpathetic” championship. You want it back, you know where you can find me… Insane Asylum… CAK vs. Monroe! Title on the line for you see CAK… at Insane Asylum… I end your legacy. I steal your spot at AR5 and as God’s Gift to Insanity, I will purge the taint that the failure of a show that Insanity is by removing you.

Monroe drives a boot to the side of CAK before speaking again.

Monroe Shockey buddy, sorry I tried to ensure you won but no worries for Monroe will save this belt and then we can save Insanity right?

Monroe laughs again as he takes CAK’s belt and leaves the ring side.

SoL: CAK slowly get up and he is after Monroe like a bat out of hell.

Phoenix: What a match and now that Shockey is being helped back stage the ring crew is working hard to repair the ring for the RETURN OF JARO.

Two teenage boys are wrestling on a trampoline, which has been transformed into an indie-looking wrestling ring. One of the boys, dressed in black cargo pants and a white singlet, hits a DDT on another boy, who is wearing red tights and a white bandana across his head. The gangster-dressed boy then climbs up the turnbuckle and hits a slash. Another guy wearing a black and white striped shirt makes the 3-count, impersonating a referee. Then the referee raises the winners hand.

Announcer: Here is your winner… THE GANG STAR!!

Gangster: So what’d you think?

The camera swings away from the ring to a table with MC Steel, Drew Michaels, Jaro, and Seth Omega.

Omega: Interesting.

MC Steel: You have talent.

Michaels: You’ll be stars of the future.

Jaro: My God you suck! You call that wrestling. Your slams are sloppy, your suplexes need work, and your clotheslines are atrocious! My grandma can wrestle better than that!

The two boys just run off crying. The camera focuses on Jaro, who rolls his eyes at it.

Jaro: Leave it to the professionals.

Jaro unexpectedly looks straight at the camera holding the LPW vs FMW: When Worlds Collide cover as images of the game quickly shoot across the screen, showing an animated Jude Maxwell pointing to the crowd, Black Reaper hitting The Repentance on Leon Caprice, and a created superstar landing a moonsault on Bryce Thorne. Then the camera cuts back to Jaro.

Come and play with any of the 100 wrestlers available. You can reign supreme in Lords of Pain, or rise to the top of the ranks in Full Metal Wrestling. Or you can challenge your friends in a new game mode called “Countdown to the Showdown”.
The screen cuts to cYnical holding the World Heavyweight Championship, then to Styxx standing with the International Championship around his waist, followed by a virtual TyranT raising the Full Metal Championship.

Jaro: And if that doesn’t float your boat, take a look at all the Create modes. Create-a-Wrestler, Create-a-Finisher, Create-an-Entrance, Create-a-Moveset or the Superstar Threads, were you can redress your favourite wrestler.  I used the Superstar Threads to make Robert Lillehammer look like a clown!

A barrage of LPW vs FMW: When Worlds Collide video game images flash across the screen, with mind-blowing moves like Andy Savana’s SavanDuced Coma, Hatchet Ryda’s Witching Hour, Skyler Striker’s Exile of Oblivion  and more. Suddenly, the moves flash by the screen so fast, it comes to an abrupt stop.
 
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Phoenix: Well fans the time has come for our main event and it’s time for a match we thought would never see in this company.  Worlds Will Collide as cYnical defends the LPW World Heavyweight Championship against Jaro. Jaro made his shocking return to this company a little over a month ago and to be honest he is not a happy man.

SoL: Of course he’s not a happy man. He’s still being punished by some of the powers that be in this company for something that happened a lifetime ago. Jaro is one of the best wrestlers in the world and some people just want to screw with him. Why don’t we just change the name this company to LPWWE if we’re going to screw with talent and lose money in the process?

Phoenix: What in the world are you talking about? No one is getting screwed over. Jaro is being Jaro and you know he likes to push buttons to get a reaction from people. Well tonight for his take I hope he doesn’t push the wrong one and get burned.

SoL: Doing puns now I see.

Phoenix: Sometimes a good pun fits the situation. In any event fans you can feel the tension so lets head up to the ring and to our good friend Mike Announcer for the official introductions.

Announcer: Wrestling fans the following contest on LPW Insanity is your main event of the evening and it is for the LPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD.

"Epic" by Faith No More comes on as flames rise from the stage and cYnical comes out to a tremendous ovation from the crowd.

Announcer: Introducing first, he hails from The Dark Side of Your Subconscious and he weighs in at 190 pounds…he is the current reigning and defending LPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD…THIS… IS… CYYYNNNNNNIIIIIIICCCCCCAAAAALLLLLL!!!!

Phoenix: The champ looks to be in tremendous condition tonight as it’s no time for games. cYnical wants to make a statement by sending Jaro packing once and for all.

SoL: Jaro did not come back just for a couple of one off shows. He came back for the long haul and cYnical better be on top of his game tonight if he knows what’s good for him.

"Mother" by Danzig comes on the pa system and Jaro comes out to a huge reaction from the crowd as he is flanked by security.

Announcer: And his opponent…he hails from Halifax, Nova Scotia and he weighs in at 220 pounds…he is a former PWA International Heavyweight Champion and cashing in his 2006 Owner’s Cup…THIS IS… JAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOOO!!!!

Phoenix: An interesting reaction from the crowd for Jaro as he has been ripping on the LPW. But in this day and age, it’s a proven fact that people like to root for the anti-hero and Jaro is that for sure.

SoL: The New Breed has got many of these reactions before and to be honest, I didn’t care because at the end of the night all that mattered was winning and I sure did a lot of that.

Phoenix: Uh oh, Jaro has a microphone and he doesn’t look happy as he stands on the aisle way.

Jaro is seen standing in the middle of the ring as he taps on the microphone.

Jaro: So it looks like I have finally made it back to the LPW and the night I reclaim my rightful spot in this company, I have to do it in a God-forsaken dump like this.

The crowd starts to boo at that comment.

Jaro: You people know it’s true. I mean what the hell is there to do in a place like Boise other then count potatoes and watch football on that gay-looking blue field. I mean really what’s the deal with that field? Are things so dull here in Idaho that the only thing that makes you all stand out is playing football on a giant tarp?

Jaro gets more hate from the crowd for that line as a “Broncos” chant breaks out.

Jaro: I don’t know what happened to this damn company. In my day it was a respectable wrestling company…Now it’s a damn zoo. cYnical I am not going to face you tonight…

The crowd boos as a huge “JA-RO SUCKS!” chant breaks out.

Jaro: I figured if I am in a damn zoo, then tonight someone from the Zoo should get a shot at the gold. BRING HER OUT BOYS.

Suddenly stagehands start wheeling out onto the stage a giant cage and inside of it is a large Ostrich. cYnical is seen in the ring and looks less then amused .

Jaro: This is Yuyu. She is the widow of my late dear pet Zuzu. For years she has been looking for something to fill the hole in her heart and tonight winning that title will do it.

cYnical looks really agitated as he grabs a microphone from the announcer.

cYnical: You have to be kidding me right? You want to give you’re title shot to Big Bird? Jaro how about this…how about you stop being a bitch and get into this ring and get what’s coming to you.

Jaro: You don’t get it do you. I’m doing a favor to this God forsaken company by coming back. I didn’t need to come back, but they begged me… “Jaro, pleeeaase we need someone to be our top star. We need someone to build the show around. If I am going to face you it’s going to be on my terms…

cYnical: All you know what, I’m not screwing around tonight. Jaro either you walk to this ring or I am going to make you get in.

Jaro: What are you going to do wizard boy? Conjure up some fire?

cYnical: That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

cYnical raises his arms and flames shoot off the ring posts. Suddenly as Jaro laughs and turns around fire starts rising from the stage.

cYnical: I am not kidding Jaro. Either walk to the ring or I make you.

Jaro blows cYnical off and suddenly more flames go off on the stage and this time closer to the cage with YuYu.

Jaro: Okay Jaro you’ve made your point, but knock off the fire. YuYu is up there.

cYnical: Come to the ring and there won’t be anymore fire. But if you don’t, I wonder…how does everyone here feel about fire roasted Ostrich.

The crowd pops as Jaro gets an angry look on his face.

Jaro: cYnical don’t you do it…  The ostrich has had enough emotional baggage.

cYnical: Then get in the ring.

Jaro: You know what, you won’t do it. The LPW can’t afford boycotts from PETA.

Jaro starts to walk away when suddenly the whole stage goes up in flames and as they come down smoke is seen rising from the cage where nothing remains but some charred feathers. As Jaro stares at the stage in stunned disbelief, cYnical comes running out of the ring and he grabs Jaro from behind and nails him with a big right hand.

Phoenix: AND IT’S ON FOLKS. JARO AND CYNICAL ARE FIGHTING IN THE AISLE.

SoL: That poor bird. What did it ever do to deserve being roasted alive?

Phoenix: cYnical is lighting up Jaro with some big chops and he slams him head first into the guardrail.

SoL: I mean it was just there and then in a flash…POOF…Gone.

Phoenix: WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN BIRD. You do know it’s just backstage right and cYnical was just doing some mind games with Jaro.

SoL: Oh it is? KICK HIS ASS JARO…The New Breed doesn’t like being tricked like that.

Phoenix: SoL the picture of impartiality as the fight. cYnical has Jaro by the ring post and he goes to ram him head first but Jaro blocks it and he slams cYn’s head in.

SoL: Has the bell even rung for this match?

Phoenix: Jaro rolls cYnical into the ring and this one is officially underway but Jaro is under the ring and HE’S PULLING OUT THE BAN HAMMER. Jaro is standing over cYn and he’s got the hammer up and the referee pulls it out of his hands AND CYNICAL NAILS HIM WITH A LOW BLOW.

SoL: That should be a disqualification. This match should be over right now because of that.

Phoenix: Oh I’m getting the sense cYnical is getting warmed up as he picks Jaro up and he scoops him up and slams him down to the mat. cYnical is quickly going to the outside and he’s climbing up to the top rope. cYn is looking to end this quickly as he sets up top and he goes cYntrifical Force…AND JARO GOT THE KNEES UP. cYn is in a world of pain as Jaro picks him back up and he connects with a big DDT. Jaro goes for the cover…one…two…KICKOUT by cYnical.

SoL: This isn’t a wrestling match…it’s a fight for survival right now.

Phoenix: Jaro is looking to take control as he picks cYnical back up and he’s going for Martyr Sauce but cYnical breaks free and he rolls him up with a small package…one…two…KICKOUT by Jaro. cYnical quickly is back up and he nails Jaro with a huge boot to the midsection and he snatches him up…cYn is going for The Negative Outlook and he has him up…but Jaro breaks free and HE PUSHES CYN RIGHT INTO THE REFEREE. cYn and the referee are down and Jaro has rolled back out to the floor and he’s grabbed The Ban Hammer.

Jaro rolls back into the ring and he positions himself in the corner as he waits for cYnical to stand back up so he can level him.

Phoenix: The referee is down as this crowd is telling cYn to watch out behind him. cYnical is pulling himself back up and he turns around as Jaro comes running AND CYN DUCKS. Cyn with a boot to the midsection and Jaro drops the Ban Hammer and cYnical has it AND HE NAILS HIM RIGHT IN THE STOMACH. This match is over as he counts himself…ONE…TWO…THREE…FOUR…FIVE but the referee is still out cold. cYnical is shaking the referee but he’s not coming to.

SoL: The referee took one hell of a bump as Jaro shoved cYnical into him with everything he had in him.

As cYnical continues to try and revive the referee, Jaro comes to and stands back up and grabs cYn from behind.

Phoenix: Jaro has Cyn from behind and he connects with The Sonic Reducer. Now he’s got the pin and he’s counting…ONE…TWO…THREE…FOUR…FIVE….The referee is finally coming to…not like this….he counts…ONE…TWO…KICKOUT BY CYNICAL!

SoL: That was one of the closest counts I have ever seen. His hand had to be less then a quarter inch from the mat.

Phoenix: Jaro is getting frustrated as he picks up cYnical and he throws him over the top rope and out to the floor. The referee is still in a daze as Andy Savana has run down to ringside and he’s putting the boots to cYnical.

SoL:  First Savana took out Hatchet tonight, now he’s trying to eliminate cYnical!  We’re not gonna have a main event left for Insane Asylum with him lurking around.

Phoenix:  Savana has cYnical up and he throws him into the guardrails. Savana has the ban hammer and he sets up as cYnical is getting back to his feet. Savana comes running and cYnical moves out of the way. cYn grabs the Ban Hammer AND HE LEVELS SAVANA. Jaro has hopped out to the floor and he nails him from behind and now he and cYn are coming this way.

Jaro slams cYnical head first into the announce table and he quickly moves the television monitors off as he rolls cYnical onto the table.

SoL: This isn’t looking good Phoenix, Jaro is looking to take out cYnical right here and now.

Phoenix: Jaro is going for a Piledriver and cYnical blocks it. Jaro tries again and cYnical blocks it once again. He goes for it a third time and cYnical breaks free and he nails him with a low blow. Jaro is hurt and cYnical has grabbed him.

SoL:  BUT LOOK AT WHO’S HERE NOW! 

Phoenix:  X HAS MADE HIS WAY OUT HERE AND HE JUST NAILED CYNICALWITH THE BAN HAMMER!  X PICKS UP CYNICAL FOR THE  X-TINCTION THROUGH THE TABLE AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AND OUT.

The referee finally regains his composure and he sees the carnage on the floor.  With Savana, Jaro, X, and cYnical all laying on the ground, the referee calls for the bell.

SoL: What the heck is going on?

Phoenix: The referee called for the bell and he’s talking to Mike Announcer as officials and trainers come out as they tend to all four men on the ground.  X absolutely planted cYnical with that X-Tinction but in the process he knocked himself silly when he landed it as they both went through the table. Well it looks like Mike is ready so here is the official word.

As officials are separating cYnical and Jaro, who are still fighting amongst the interference from Savana and X, the referee grabs the world championship belt.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen…due to neither man being able to continue the match given the interference, the referee has officially ruled this match a NO CONTEST. Therefore STILL the LPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD…CYNICAL!

SoL: Unable to continue my ass. Both of these guys could keep going all night.

Phoenix: And that’s the problem…where does it stop? With one of them in the hospital or worse?

As the referee hands cYnical his title belt, Savana is seen getting up and cYnical throws the belt at the referee and he tackles Jaro and he starts hammering away on him as everyone tries to pull him off.

Phoenix: ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE AS CYNICAL IS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF JARO. The officials have pulled him off and Jaro is up AND JARO DIVES AT CYN AND HE’S THROWING PUNCHES AND BOTH MEN ARE TRYING TO GET TO EACH OTHER. Officials have pulled them apart and now Savana and X are trying to get at each other while LPW security are trying to drag Jaro to the back and away from cYnical.

SoL: I have been in this company a long time and I have never seen a pull apart like this. These four want to kill each other.

Before anything else can happen, ”The Crimson” by Atreyu begins to play as Little Red skips out to the sold-out crowd with Krimson Mask close behind.

Little Red:  That is enough!  ENOUGH!  All four of you need to go to Time Out!  This was supposed to be a big match and you all RUINED IT!  All of you!  Since none of you can play well together, and the doctors have told me that Hatchet Ryda’s boo boo is worse off than Al’s last name, I am officially changing the main event at Insane Asylum to the following.  Instead of having all three champions from this season face off in the Insanity season conclusion, we are gonna shake things up like a baked potato.  It is gonna be cYnical versus X…versus Andy Savana… versus Jaro… in a Fatal 4-Way Match for the LPW World Heavyweight Championship!

The crowd instantly goes nuts at the announcement!

Little Red:  And for the sake of all that is good, cYnical is going to lose that title against three of the most vile superstars in Insanity history.  If not, I QUIT!

Phoenix: Fans we haven’t seen anything like this in a long time. cYnical is still the LPW World Heavyweight Champion, but this is far from over as every last member of the LPW Security staff are keeping these four men apart.

cYnical grabs his belt and rolls into the ring and he climbs onto the ropes and taunts at Little Red as she is standing right next to Jaro who was led up the aisle. Suddenly cYnical raises his arms and a huge series of flames rise on the stage once again as Little Red and Jaro stares down cYnical, with X looking from the bottom of the ramp and Savana looking near the timekeeper’s table.

Phoenix: GOOD GOD ALL MIGHTY, CYNICAL HAS SENT A MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR. FANS WE’RE OUT OF TIME, SO LONG FOR BOISE.

The shot fades as cYnical holds his title belt up high and a fade shot of Jaro with the fire cuts in on them as the shot fades to black.

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