The American Airlines Arena in Dallas, Texas, is a tantalising hub of excitement. Pyrotechnics explode all over the arena, in a brilliant wash of both blue and orange. There is no fan in the arena who can contain themselves, shouting, screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. The camera captures this excitement, as two very familiar voices start to talk.

Drew Michaels: WE ARE HERE!!! WE ARE FINALLY HERE!!! THE DOORSTEP OF ALTERED REALITY 6!!!

Robert Lillehammer: The final pit stop before the war with Insanity. Even I have to admit, this is a very special time of the year. If you aren’t looking forward to the show, you’re either an Insanity scum bag, or you have no place being a Pyromania fan.

Michaels: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but truer words have never been spoken by you. I’m Drew Michaels, sitting beside me is Robert Lillehammer, and I think it’s fair to say Bobby…

Lillehammer: Don’t call me Bobby.

Michaels: That tonight’s action will be something to remember.

Lillehammer: The matches themselves, most of them I’m fairly sure are academic, but there are a number of match ups that even I have no idea who could possibly walk out the winner.

Michaels: Do I even have to ask your opinion on some of them. I’m fairly sure you’re blindly going to pledge allegiance to Ken Ryans, when he goes up against Eddie B and White Falcon with the Captaincy of Pyromania’s Main Event Team on the line.

Lillehammer: Andrew, look at you. I’m almost proud of you! You’re learning! Of course Ryans already has this in the bag!

Michaels: Uh huh… And I’m pretty sure you’re backing Xander Kross to take the Western States Heritage Championship from Styxx.

Lillehammer: Another educated guess. Styxx would be a fine champion, and would deserve to continue his reign, except for the fact he has the fatal flaw of being Australian. Xander on the other hand, a pure Red White and Blue man. It’s  academic. Nothing can defeat an American.

Michaels: I have a strong feeling you’re going to be proven wrong tonight Robert. Styxx is dangerous, and the champion for a reason.

Lillehammer: Traitor.

Michaels: Classy. How about something a little less academic then Robert? Seth Omega has been without a contract since he lost his World Heavyweight Championship match against Morpheus. Tonight, he’s got a chance to win a Pyromania one, when he finishes his war of words against the legend Eric Scorpio.

Lillehammer: Scorpio has come out of retirement for this match, and he’s goaded Seth Omega and dominated him at all points, even taking a spot on the Pyromania team for Altered Reality Six. If Omega isn’t fired up tonight, then he doesn’t deserve a contract.

Michaels: Dick Dynamo[/i] will also look to shut up another big mouth of LPW, when he finally takes on Christian Parkes in a Kiss My Ass match. This is one to look forward to, it’s been brewing for a LONG time, and I know that when push comes to shove, Dynamo’s going to have a point to prove.

Lillehammer: Speaking of points to prove, Jeff Watson will have a BIG point to prove. He’s finally accused a man of the mysterious attacks and the disappearance of his wife Ashley. The unfortunate soul that has to deal with the wrath of an angry Pyromania superstar is Insanity low life Azreal. This could possibly be the most one sided match in LPW history, because there’s going to be no way that Azreal can handle what Watson will bring to this.

Michaels: And we culminate in our MASSIVE main event match. The LPW International Heavyweight Championship is on the line. The reigning champion is Tromboner Man. He’s held the title since Pyromania 18.1, after he drew with, then defeated Ken Ryans for the title. He’s had a long, storied and strong reign. You can’t deny that.

Lillehammer: No, you can’t. But the credentials of his challenger are almost unmatched. cﾘnical is a two time World Heavyweight Champion, and a Martinez Cup winner. He might have won those on Insanity, but he still knows how to win the big time match, as he proved at Redemption, when he won the Redemption Rumble to win this shot. He’s taken over the Pyromania brand, and now, the General Manager will look to add the most coveted prize on Pyromania to his resume.

“2nd Sucks” by A Day To Remember hits and out comes Cripsy to a decent reaction to the crowd, doing the title around the waist gesture as he walks down to the ring.

P.A. Speaker: CRRIIIISSSSSPPPPYYY, uh, no, I mean….CCRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPSSSYYYYY.

Michaels: BUT FIRST, before any of that, we have the issue of the Pure Championship to sort out.


Lillehammer: It is an issue. Neither man is an American, so how can we be sure that Cripsy or Daniel Purser will be worthy of going up against either Cyborg Lincoln or Steve Storme at Altered Reality 6?

Michaels: We can be sure because they wrestle for Pyromania.

Lillehammer: You raise a very valid point Andrew. An extremely valid point.

Cripsy heads to the top rope and poses for the fans, awaiting his opponent Daniel Purser. The spotlight appears and we wait Twenty seconds for Purser’s arrival. The spotlight goes and a big bang alerts us of Purser’s presence.

Speaker: PURSER PURSER PURSER!!!! PURSE HER!!!! WOOO!!![b/]

Purser ascends the top rope and poses in a crucifix position and gives his belt to the referee, who raises it high above his head, before handing to the time keeper on the outside.

Michaels: The bell rings and here we go in this important opening contest.

Lillehammer: The Australians lock up in the center of the ring, showing just how far behind American wrestlers they are with their technique. Yet still being stronger than Insanity’s.

Michaels: Not this again, why are you not very happy that our Pure Wrestling Champion is going to be Australian?

Lillehammer: That’s not a matter of which I wish to discuss at the minute, what I do want to discuss is the Pure action we are going to be sampling over the next moments.

Michaels: Double Leg takedown by Purser and straight into an Ankle Lock, submission type manoeuvre, looking to end this early, question for you Mr. Lillehammer, why do we see no Australis out here?

Lillehammer: I don’t know, but I’m certainly glad, can’t say I like those dudes, but that is strange.

Michaels: Back to in the ring and Purser hits a Samoan Drop and carries on with the big impact moves by hitting a Roundhouse Kick.

Lillehammer: Interesting set of stats here, Purser weighing in at 231 Pounds, Cripsy at 230 Pounds, and then the height, Purser is 6 foot 2, Cripsy is 6 foot 1.

Michaels: So neither men giving away much in Height or Weight, but two contrasting styles as we see here.

Lillehammer: Yeah, Purser likes his ground and pound, Cripsy likes to fly around the ring as we can see as he delivers a Springboard Dropkick which makes Purser roll out of the ring.

Michaels: Remember, Purser can and will lose his title on the outside if the referee reaches the count of 10 and Cripsy in the ring.

Cripsy places Purser on the apron and sets himself up for a Guillotine Leg drop which he connects with. He rolls Purser in the ring for a count of 2. Cripsy runs the ropes but gets hit with a Lariat by Purser.

Michaels: Purser back in control, as he snaps on a Single Leg Boston Crab.

Lillehammer: Cripsy out and sends Purser up and down with a Backdrop, and quickly brings him back up and hits a Swinging Neckbreaker!

Michaels: Might get him here.

Lillehammer: One…Two..Thr-, NO, Kick out at 2!

Michaels: Purser not going to give up that easy.

Lillehammer: I don’t think Cripsy is, runs the ropes but BAM!

Michaels: Spear by Purser, and again Purser’s in control with just one move.

Lillehammer: That’s all it takes, as again Purser goes to work on Cripsy’s legs, this time hooking in a Boston Crab.

Michaels: Good strategy, weaken Cripsy’s legs and you can effectively take out The Fallout, one of Cripsy’s main weapons in his Arsenal.

Lillehammer: Purser manages to hit a Flapjack but Cripsy won’t give up.

Purser manages to hit an Enzuigiri to the back of the head and hits a T-Bone Suplex straight after.

Michaels: Purser sits Cripsy up, and delivers a big boot right to the face, cover could get him here, No, Kick out at 2.

Lillehammer: Frustration could be possibly be beginning to come into play for Purser.

Michaels: He’s got to think of something if he wants to retain his title.

Lillehammer: Purser placing Cripsy the other side of the ropes what can he be thinking here?

Michaels: Oh MAN! Face Replacement. That may well be it!

Lillehammer: The Pin...The Pin...NO! Kick out at 2!

Michaels: Purser complains to the referee about a slow count, but that was definitely a 2 count.

Lillehammer: And now Purser, going back to the legs, going to back to what he knows works.

Michaels: Cripsy has got to get to the ropes or something because this might be over.

Lillehammer: He does on this occasion.

Michaels: But again, Purser just picks him up and puts him back down with a Bicycle Kick, and gets a 2 count.

Lillehammer: And now Purser is thinking going to the air.

Michaels: Purser rarely goes to the top rope.

Lillehammer: And Cripsy’s going to join him.

Michaels: God, this is real dangerous.

Lillehammer: Both men fighting high above the ring.

Michaels: Cripsy hooks a Neckbreaker!

Lillehammer: OH MY GOD!

Michaels: Swinging Neckbreaker of the Top Rope, both men are hurt here.

Lillehammer: Cripsy’s got to go for a pin if he can.

Michaels: I’m not sure he can, he crawls over.

Lillehammer: New Champion! NO! Purser is out at 2 and the match continues!

Michaels: Remember, this is not just for The Pure Championship; it’s a chance to appear at Altered Reality 6!

Lillehammer: Very true, both men fighting to get up.

Michaels: Cripsy is up!

Lillehammer: As is Purser!

Michaels: Cripsy is running the ropes!

Lillehammer: But Purser changes the complextion of this match once again by hitting The True Face of Evil.

Michaels: And this one is going to come to come to an abrupt end.

Lillehammer: Purser, setting it up, Famous Last Words, NO, a counter.

Michaels: Here it is, CABIN PRESSURE!

Lillehammer: The Pin, he’s got him!

Michaels: ONE…..TWO…..THR-HOW DID PURSER KICK OUT?

Lillehammer: I have no idea.

Michaels: I don’t think Cripsy does either.

Lillehammer: What’s Cripsy thinking now.

Michaels: I don’t know but he better make his mind up.

Lillehammer: Cripsy gingerly making his way to the top rope, his leg damage from earlier is catching up to him.

Michaels: He’s up there.

Lillehammer: He’s going for The Fallout! But No, the knees were up!

Michaels: Purser got the knees up, and Cripsy is out on all fours!

Lillehammer: Purser gets him up, and NAILS HIM WITH THE FAMOUS LAST WORDS!!!

Michaels: That’s it!

Lillehammer: One….Two…THREE!!!!! This one’s over!!!

Speaker: It’s over? But… Daniel Purser, I need more time… Can’t you start again or something?

Daniel Purser (3.38 APS + 1.3 Vote = 4.68 Total)
Cripsy (3.38 APS + 0.6 Vote = 3.98 Total) [/i]

The referee walks in and hands Purser his LPW Pure Championship. Cripsy continues to lie on the mat staring at the ceiling, contemplating what he could have done to walk out the victor. Purser on the other hand climbs the turnbuckle and poses with his championship for the crowd.

Michaels: Daniel Purser, take a bow, you’re up against either Cyborg Lincoln or Steve Storme at Altered Reality Six!

Lillehammer: I thought both men put on a sub-par performance.

Michaels: Of course you did…

Lillehammer: Don’t gloss over it because of who they represent Andrew. You know as well as I do that if Purser wants to represent Pyromania to the fullest extent at Altered Reality, he’ll need to step his game up to a new level!

[INDENT][/INDENT]

The camera picks up Golden watching one of the monitors backstage when DJC approaches him, microphone in hand.

DJC: What's crackin' fam? Looks like you doin' homework on one of ya patnas at the big dance. Anythang impressive happenin'?

Golden: Let me tell you a story DeSean, a true one in fact. My family run a bar back home -

DJC: Guess not since you finna spin me dis Irish yarn. Aight, I'm kinda bored and you might spit that real so Illyman's interest is piqued.

Golden: This is a good few years back, I'd been away playing ball for the summer with a couple of the lads so the night we all arrived back in the bar we were surprised to see that one of the locals, Barney he was called, had gotten himself very popular.

DJC: Not sure what dis gotta do with whateva going on, B. Get to the point, I ain't tryna be an accomplice to you boring the fine folks in attendance. If I wanted to have any part of sapping a crowd's energy I'd watch Blake Griffin's wannabe-on-Broadway ass do a Kia commercial...

Golden: We'd been expecting everyone to be lauding our the heroic performances we'd been putting in on the football field as soon as we stepped in the door, but no, there wasn't a sinner in the bar interested in us. Every single one of them was around this other guy. So, inevitably we went over to check out what all the attraction was.

Our eyes could hardly believe what they were seeing. On the bar, infront of the man, sat a tiny little fella playing a tiny little piano. He was playing a mighty tune too, no wonder everyone was over having a look. After a while the old fella but the wee man back in his pocket and the buzz subsided long enough for everyone to top up their pints and go back to their corners.

One of my mates, the star of the team we'd been playing for over the summer infact, was so annoyed at this man stealing his thunder that he went over and confronted him. "Barney, what the hells this?" He said. Barney then rambled about this well he found down the road, and that there was a genie stuck down the well. Barney went on to tell him about the money he'd made from the little man and the joy it brought him. He suggested my friend went down to the genie and asked for a wish himself.

He didn't have to tell him twice, as my friend sprinted out the door in search of the genies well. Not too long passed before our friend arrived back, accompanied by twelve midgets. Before we even had a chance to ask what in the world was going on he stormed over to Barney and said, "What the hell is this, I asked for a dozen beautiful women by my side and he gives me twelve wee men to follow me around!?", "Aye" Barney replied, "Do you think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

DJC: Heh-heh... now pardon my french, "fella", but WHUT DA HALE was this provin'? You down in the dumps or somethin' bruh?

Golden: I feel like the man who went to the well and asking for a team of winners and came back with a handful of hotdogs. Oh, and you want to hear the biggest laugh yet? I've been told that the last member of my team is going to be Double D. Isn't that funny?

DJC: A nigga guess so?

Golden: It's f***ing HILARIOUS.

With that, Golden walks away, chuckling to himself as DJC stares on totally confused.

DJC: Note to self, don't run up on Irish niggas that's feelin' all nostalgic and whatnot.... nigga been smokin' that shamrock or somethin'…

Michaels: So there we have it, our Undercard team for Altered Reality Six is confirmed, with a controversial final member.

Lillehammer: I wonder if Dynamo realises what’s in store for him with this latest revelation. Doesn’t this stop him from leaving LPW now? Why would anyone want to stop a queer from leaving here?

Michaels: Moving on before Bobby embarrasses us even further, we will now see what should be a interesting matchup for the Western States Heritage Championship, where Styxx defends against flashy upstart Xander Kross.

Lillehammer: Interesting is terming it nicely. We have exactly what’s wrong with today’s generation taking on some backwater Australian! It’s bad enough he holds a championship…

Michaels: Styxx is one of the most decorated competitors in this federation, show respect.

Lillehammer: Suffering your presence is more than enough for me in the selfless deeds department.

Michaels: You are damned hopeless…


“Turns to Ashes” by 36 Crazyfists plays and Styxx makes his way out  to a mixed reaction, his title on his shoulder. He goes toward the ring business-like, giving off a mean glare to the fans.  He slides in and looks toward the crowd, raising the WSHC high, scanning the capacity crowd.

Speaker: STYXX, don’t be such a sour puss… I figured champs had more to smile about…

Michaels: You know, I get he has taken issue with the apparent treatment of Aussies in LPW, but given that said continent has provided us with some of the greatest and most accomplished wrestlers in this federation’s history, where exactly has he and his fellow Aussies been wronged?

Lillehammer: He’s an idiot.

Michaels: No, I’d just like to get some clarification. He wouldn’t feel this way for a reason.

The arena darkens as the opening sirens of “Bonfire” by Childish Gambino sound out. Suddenly the music seamlessly changes to “Freaks and Geeks” by Childish Gambino as Xander Kross comes from the back to cheers, clad in a Dallas Cowboys-color scheme version of his attire. He extends the front of his jersey, which reads “BEAST MODE” and the number #94, representing Cowboys star DeMarcus Ware, which only serves to garner him more support. Xander then does his signature taunt then proceeds down energetically, interacting with the fans and generally appearing loose and relaxed. Styxx hands his championship to the ref and looks on unimpressed.

Speaker: Is this what they call “swag”? XANDER KROSS[/i], you answer my question!

Lillehammer: What a suckup…

Michaels: Let the kid have some fun, jeez. The Mrs. not putting out at home anymore? Mrs. Lillehammer, on behalf of LPW, I say it’s about time.

Lillehammer: Shut up you fool!

Kross tosses his custom jersey and hat into the crowd as the bell rings. Styxx goes to corner Kross, who quickly evades Styxx before a collar-and-elbow tie-up.

Michaels: Styxx looking to slow the pace and out-muscle the young gun here.

Lillehammer: Of cours he is, he has about a 70 pound weight advantage on the boy, who frankly looks dressed to shoot around with the Mavericks. He could use a more traditional in-ring style.

Michaels: I like it, shows originality and if he’s comfy in it, why hate? Styxx has Xander now, and he misses a huge elbow! Xander fires a stiff jab on the comeback!

Xander bounces around the ring ala Muhammad Ali, smirking at Styxx.

Lillehammer: Now’s not the time to rub it in the champ’s face.

Michaels: This one’s started a bit cautiously, Styxx starting to close the distance and Xander takes him down with a low dropkick to the knee! He follows up with a stalling dropkick that sends Styxx flying backward!

Lillehammer: Well I must admit, the boy has… I think the young people say “hangtime”…

Michaels: He is a former basketball player but that was still impressive. Xander goes for a cover and only gets one!

Lillehammer: The stick and move tactics of the challenger may actually pay dividends, however Styxx is more athletic than people believe.

Xander motions for the kneeling champion to bring the fight, as the fresh-faced challenger’s confidence begins to build.

Michaels: They lock up again, but Styxx takes the advantage here with an arm wrench. Damn! He tried to shoulder it out of the socket there! He’s wrenching again, but Xander rolls to the mat and nips up, taking down the champion with an armdrag! What a reversal!

Lillehammer: Since when could he trade holds!

Michaels: This is why you don’t judge people before you know them, you ass.

Lillehammer: You go with what a man shows you, you’ve shown me nothing but asinine political ideologies and a general disregard for anything intelligent so, thus I have a very low opinion of you, you Nazi!

Michaels: Charming…

Styxx begins to show some frustration and mutter profanity. Xander looks to quickly get back on the offensive, as he stops a charging Styxx with a toe kick and a release cradle suplex. Styxx, a savvy ring veteran, rolls to the outside to regroup, slightly grimacing as Xander plays to the crowd.

Michaels: Xander looks to have Styxx off his game, a great start for the hopeful champion! Styxx trying to shake the cobwebs loose now, but Kross might have a plan.

Lillehammer: The young ruffian has a look in his eye, this may be high risk!

Michaels: Kross charges the ropes and flies! TOPE CON HILO!! Exciting offense from Dr. Beast Mode!

The crowd pops until Xander remains down, holding his hamstring. Styxx rolls to his stomach as the ref goes out to check on his opponent.

Lillehammer: That didn’t look good. That’s why it’s called high risk.

A replay shows Xander’s leg buckle a bit on the landing. The referee asks Xander if he can continue and Xander gingerly gets to a seated position, saying “YEAH CUZZO, I GOT DIS”. Meanwhile Styxx has rolled back into the ring, getting a breather as Xander hops towards the apron.

Michaels: That maneuver might have derailed Kross’ momentum, rather unfortunate I must say.

Lillehammer: You’re not supposed to play favorites.

Michaels: You sniveling hypocrite… it’s called having compassion for your fellow man.

Lillehammer: Well he shouldn’t have made that leap!

Xander slowly enters the ring and Styxx sees Xander struggling to get around, and pounces on the gimpy challenger, sending him head over heels with a Kitchen Sink knee to the gut. Styxx wastes no time going after the damaged leg, dropping a couple of elbows across it before cinching in a leglock, which Xander desperately tries to escape.

Lillehammer: Styxx showing that veteran instinct, he sees the opening and he wastes no time!

Michaels: Xander trying to escape it but having little luck. He just manages the grab the ropes and Styxx immediately releases and drops a huge elbow across the back of Xander’s head!

Lillehammer: Styxx is going to ground the boy now, he’s slowing it to a methodical pace, right where he can control it.

Michaels: Styxx has Kross up now and is delivering massive forearms across the back. He goes for an Irish Whip but he pulls back, turning it into a short-arm Pendulum Backbreaker! Styxx covers!

1!!2!! KICKOUT!!!

Lillehammer: He might be setting up for the Ganzo Bomb now, but if I were the champion I’d go right back to that leg and quad, see how tender it really is.

Michaels: Xander is trying to pull himself up and STYXX TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT WITH A VILE RUNNING KICK TO THE LEG!

Lillehammer: It’s most definitely smarting now!

Michaels: And now Styxx is going to the top rope, the big man may take flight, he’s got the challenger measured… Xander is having trouble standing.

Lillehammer: But it doesn’t matter as Styxx powers him down with a flying axehandle across his face! He might have concussed him!

Michaels: Styxx goes right back to leg and slaps on a half crab! Xander is in deep trouble here!

The crowd tries to get behind Xander as he crawls toward the ropes, pain etched on his face. Styxx looks around and repositions, trying to get as much leverage as he can on the hold. Xander gets within a fingertip of the ropes but Styxx, ever the savvy competitor, drags the smaller challenger back to the middle of the ring and cranks back down.

Lillehammer: That might be all she wrote! It was Xander’s last gasp! How… un-patriotic of him!

Michaels: The champion may be seconds away from a tap out but Xander refuses to quit, he crawls again!

Lillehammer: He’s too far away! He won’t make it!

Michaels: The kid’s almost there, he reaches… and he’s got the ropes! The champion has no choice but to release the hold, but he is far from happy about it!

Styxx backs away from the downed Xander, measuring him for some sort of big strike. Xander’s trek back to his feet is painfully slow but he manages to make it, putting little to no weight on what seems to be an injured hamstring or quad.

Michaels: Styxx charges… WHAT A COUNTER! XANDER WITH AN OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY THROW INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

Lillehammer: How did he pull that off on one leg?!?

Michaels: It doesn’t matter now as that was a nasty trip Styxx took then, Xander is very slow to follow up, his leg has to be killing him!

Lillehammer: Xander stands up as Styxx is all but discombobulated, I think Xander knows he’s got to end this now or risk further damage!

Xander calls for his “Clutch Factor” but as he charges Styxx, his leg gives way. Styxx wastes little time, snatching Xander by the head and spinning him to the mat with…

Michaels: TERROR CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE!

Lillehammer: THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE, IF STYXX CAN GET THIS COVER!

Michaels: I still don’t think Styxx knows where he is, that was a horrific impact from that throw he took! Ref’s count is up to three now, neither man is moving!

The ref’s count reaches “5” as a “LET’S GO XANDER!” chant fills the arena. Styxx sits up, pulls Xander from the ropes and covers just after the ref says “6”.

Michaels: 1!! 2!! TH-XANDER GETS A SHOULDER UP! THE KID STILL HAS SOME LIFE!

Lillehammer: I cannot believe it… and neither can Styxx!

Styxx looks towards the ref incredulous, arguing about the count. After failing to plead his case, Styxx turns back to Xander and grabs him to his feet.

Styxx: STAY DOWN! YOU WON’T TAKE MY CHAMPIONSHIP! I WON’T ALLOW IT!

Michaels: Styxx has had enough and he’s going for the Ganzo Bomb!
Lillehammer: He hits that, it’s over!

Michaels: Styxx lifts and Xander wriggles free! He manages to push him into the corner and he’s firing away with all he’s got! What a flurry of strikes!

Lillehammer: The champion has no idea what’s happening!

Styxx stumbles out after Xander levels him with a jumping elbow smash, with not much jump. He falls to a seated position and Xander flattens him with a corkscrew neck snap.

Michaels: Styxx has just been “KrossedOver”! Styxx is trying to get to his feet and Xander pulls himself up with the ropes, he might be running on pure adrenaline… sharp kick to the gut, HOT SAUCE DDT!

Xander kips up, barely, after spiking Styxx into the mat.

Lillehammer: Where is he getting it from? Who the hell knows?

Michaels: He’s got the crowd, the second wind and the momentum, Styxx won’t stay down though, he’s trying to suck it up but he stumbles right into a HackAShaq spinebuster! Xander rolls out to the apron and he pulls himself up to his feet and he’s going up top!

Lillehammer: Dumb move! That’s how he hurt himself last time, with high risk!

Xander gingerly gets to the top rope as Styxx has mustered up the fight to get to a bent over position, Xander dives and sends him crashing to the mat with a scintillatingly high, despite Xander’s condition, “Above the Rim”! Xander rolls to his stomach, holding his leg momentarily before he pounds the mat defiantly and rises to his feet, showing off his signature taunt as he stalks the reeling champion.

Michaels: Xander’s sucking it up! He’s blocking out the pain and he’s got the champion right where he wants him!

Lillehammer: If Styxx turns around he won’t lie the view!

Michaels: Styxx turns… CLUTCH FACTOR WITH AUTHORITY!! Did you see the hang time there!

Lillehammer: THE KID MIGHT DAMNED WELL PULL IT OFF! I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS!

Michaels: Xander gets to his feet and he’s hovering over Styxx! He removes that basketball sleeve! Coup de grace time?!

Xander makes his signature taunt and runs as best he can to the ropes. He hopes over Styxx, putting all his weight on his good leg before bouncing off the ropes, flashing in quick succession the numbers “2-1-5” and dropping an elbow to Styxx’s face before covering!

Michaels: LIGHTS PLEASE! XANDER COVERS! 1!! 2!! 3!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!![/i]

Lillehammer: What an upset!

Speaker: DUUUUUDE, XANDER!!!! SWAG!

Xander Kross (4.34 APS + 1.0 Vote = 5.34 Total)
Styxx (3.92 APS + 0.9 Vote = 4.82 Total)[/i]

“Freaks and Geeks” by Childish Gambino plays as Xander snaps up to his knees, wide-eyed in shock. The ref hands him the WSHC and Xander stares into it, mesmerized or in disbelief that he has won. The ref raises his hand but Xander’s gaze doesn’t leave the title. Suddenly he rolls out of the ring, limps over to the ringside crowd and jumps in, celebrating amongst them.

Michaels: Xander Kross has taken a giant step towards becoming a big time player here in LPW, gutting it out even after that injury!

Lillehammer: That’s what I’m concerned about, it’s nice that he’s champion and all, but when the euphoria wears off he’s going to feel that pain. We don’t know how serious it is.

Michaels: Hopefully he doesn’t miss out on Altered Reality 6. He’s on a solid roll and we could use him at the biggest show of the year, but until then, we’ve got a new Western States Heritage Champion and his name is the Blazin’ Bruin, Xander Kross!

[INDENT][/INDENT]

Backstage, an extremely focused Jeff Watson sits in his locker room. He is surprisingly calm and patient considering the enormity of his match tonight. His attention is drawn when he is interrupted by a stage hand.

Stage Hand: Mr. Watson sir?

Watson: Yes?

Stage Hand: I’ve been told to get you. We thought you’d like to see this.

Watson stands up from his seat, and starts to follow the stage hand. He doesn’t have to go far, as the quickly come across EMTs loading Ken Ryans onto a stretcher. Watson instantly becomes more animated.

Watson: What’s going on here?!

Stage Hand: Mr. Ryans was attacked. There was a note here for you. We found it pinned to Mr. Ryan’s chest.

The stage hand gives Watson the crumpled note. Watson quickly reads it before putting it in his pocket, visually furious.

Watson: You couldn’t help yourself, could you Azreal? You think this is funny? You think this is a game? You’ve just signed your own warrant!

Lillehammer: WHA?!?!

Michaels: Ken Ryans has been attacked AGAIN!! I would have thought this was something very out of character for Azreal.

Lillehammer: KEN RYANS?! IS HE… going to be OK?

Michaels: He’s being loaded onto a stretcher, you tell me.

Lillehammer: Wh… a… my… Ken…

Michaels: Snap out of it Bobby, there’s nothing you can do. Focus, we have a HUGE match coming up now.

Lillehammer: You’re right… Azreal, I hope Watson absolutely destroys you. This is obviously a ploy from Insanity to take out potential captains, giving them the advantage! Isn’t it ironic that this should happen just before the return of the old Insanity general manager.

Michaels: Indeed it is. Omega is finally going to shut that guys mouth.

Lillehammer: I sense some bitterness.

Michaels: We have a somewhat interesting history.

Lillehammer: Really? I only see two matches against him at LPW.

Michaels: I don't want to discuss it.

Lillehammer: ... Errr... alright very well.


“Pride” by Five Finger Death Punch begins to play throughout the arena as coming out from behind the curtain is Seth Omega. However instead of the usual darkened entrance he normally gets, the lights don't turn off, nor does his iconic green symbol in the centre of the ring. Seth looks around before giving a smile before making his way to the ring.

Speaker: Ohhh… it’s a BIG man, it’s SETH OMEEEEGGAAA!

Michaels: Little mind games by his opponent one would think.

Lillehammer: Could be that, or the fact that he's not a contracted wrestler and the general manager has finally come to terms that giving him an entrance is simply unfit for an unsigned wrestler. He's just lucky he gets to come to the ring with a song.

Michaels: He deserve one just the same. Seth's in the ring now and he seems eager to for the match to start.

The lights in the arena suddenly cut out.

Michaels: Yet he gets one?

Lillehammer: Hush, I want to see this.

Out of the darkness, “Hallowed by thy Name” by Iron Maiden begins to play. The darkness gets cut with a strobbing blue spot light illuminating Eric Scorpio in a long leather trench coat and a large rolled up envelop in hand, walking down the ramp. With a stoic look, his eyes never leave the site of Omega in the ring. He points the envelop at Seth Omega before tucking it inside his leather coat and handing it to a stage hand on the outside of the ring.

Speaker: SPOOOOOOOOKY!!! Stop scaring me Eric Scorpio…

Lillehammer: There's been mentions of this envelop before.

Michaels: It's just more of Scorpio's mind games. He's trying to get into Omega's head.

Lillehammer: Well it may be working, because Scorpio just entered the ring and Omega has just jumped him nailing him with lefts and rights. The bell hasn't even rung yet.

Michaels: Well after the things Scorpio has done to this man, these past few weeks, I don't blame him.

Lillehammer: The referee has just pulled off Omega. Good job referee, keep that maniac off of him.

Michaels: Scorpio is getting back to his feet and Omega just tackled him down to the mat again! Another Left, another Right. This man's on fire.

Lillehammer: This man should be disqualified right now. Come on referee do your job.

Michaels: The referee has just pulled Omega off again and has given him a warning. Scorpio is checking his face, he doesn't look amused.

Lillehammer: If I punched you in the face, I bet you wouldn't be amused either. Scorpio is getting back up again, and here comes Omega again! Come on ref!

Michaels: Omega charges Scorpio and Scorpio sidesteps and throws Omega through the ropes to the outside! Omega just took a nasty spill to the outside.

Lillehammer: Scorpio has just spoken to the referee and the referee has just rang the bell. I think he just asked the referee to start the match.

Michaels: I believe so, because look at Scorpio he's focused on Omega who's slowly getting up and Scorpio charges and dives through the ropes and Omega just caught him in midair into Powerslam!!! right onto those tiny ringside mats. Scorpio looks like he's in a lot of pain now.

Lillehammer: Definitely wasn't thinking too clearly here. Maybe ring rust?

Michaels: Possibly. Omega picks Scorpio up and Irish Whip to the steel stairs! Scorpio just flipped right over them.

Lillehammer: The referee has just begun to count the two men out. This keeps up, we may see the quickest defeat of a returning superstar.

Michaels: He ain't no star. Scorpio slowly gets up using the ring apron and here comes Omega charging towards Scorpio and Drop Toe Hold by Scorpio and Omega just face planted right onto those steel stairs!

Lillehammer: Ah that's more like it. Scorpio picks Omega up and rolls him into the ring. Scorpio quickly climbs in the ring ending the referee's count at 8 and begins delivering lefts and rights to Omega's face. Eye for an eye, Drew?

Michaels: Don't know what you're talking about. The referee pulls Scorpio off of Omega and Scorpio leans back against the corner turnbuckle and waits for Omega to get back to his feet.

Lillehammer: Looks like a little bit of blood from Omega's mouth, as he quickly checks his teeth. With Scorpio letting Omega get up, it looks like he's here for a wrestling match.

Michaels: It's about time. Both men begin circling each other and Omega goes for the lock up but Scorpio quickly with a kick to the midsection and a quick Gut Wrench Suplex. He may have been away for sometime but that was done very quickly. I don't think Omega knew what hit him there.

Lillehammer: One blink and you would have missed that. Omega back to his feet and Standing Drop Kick from Scorpio sending Omega back down to the mat. He's not letting off.

Michaels: He better not. If Scorpio does indeed see something in Omega, then he knows not to step off the gas. Omega back to his feet, Scorpio quickly charging and devastating Lariat by Omega! Scorpio went from running to finding himself flat on his back in milliseconds. I don't think he knows what just happened there.

Lillehammer: It's like he hit a train. Omega's not wasting time either, picking up and clutching Scorpio and delivering those devastating knees to Scorpio's chest and face. Scorpio needs to break free fast.

Michaels: Those definitely rattled him; Scorpio's got blood seeping from his lip. Omega tosses Scorpio against the turnbuckle and charges only to get a stiff elbow from Scorpio staggering him back. Omega tries again, Scorpio with the elbow once more but blocked by Omega this time and Belly to Belly Suplex by Omega!!! Scorpio is arching his back in pain.

Lillehammer: That was hard to see. Omega is not messing around here.

Michaels: He definitely isn't. Omega picks Scorpio back up and Scorpio counters with a European Uppercut, stunning Omega. Scorpio quickly grabs Omega's head and Sit Out JawBreaker!! Omega staggers back, Scorpio springboards of the second rope and Scorpion Hangover!! Omega is down!

Lillehammer: That's what I'm talking about!!! Scorpio goes for the pin.

One...
Two...
Thr... Scorpio releases the pin!!!

Michaels: Now that was foolish.

Lillehammer: I don't think so. Isn't Scorpio here to teach him a lesson?

Michaels: What lesson, it was because of Scorpio long ago that Omega lost his wrestling contract with LPW. This is more like adding insult to injury. Scorpio picks Omega back up, locks him up and Spinning GordBuster by Scorpio.

Lillehammer: He just wants to see how much the poor man can take. Besides, Omega's had plenty of chances to regain a contract here and has not been able to so far.

Michaels: Omega is on all fours as he tries to get back up and Scorpio with a quick stomp to the hands of Omega. Omega tries again to get up but Legdrop to the back of the head by Scorpio. Omega is down again.

Lillehammer: I'd expect Scorpio to be smiling here but, he's not, he looks annoyed more than anything.

Michaels: He's still got that same ugly face, I tried not to pay to much attention to that. Scorpio picks Omega back up and Inverted Backbreaker. Omega is down again. Scorpio is back to his feet and has just begun to nail shot after to Omega's head. He looks frustrated.

Lillehammer: He does. Not often you see Scorpio lose his cool. He's shouting at Omega, but I can't quite make out what he's saying. Omega is on his knees.

Michaels: Don't know what he's saying, but Omega is smiling and Scorpio has begun deliver some stiff shots to the face of Omega. I think Omega is playing some mind games of his own here as the referee puts a stop to this farce and separates Scorpio and gives him a warning for those close fists punches.

Lillehammer: Yet it was okay for Omega to start the match that way.

Michaels: I'm pretty sure the referee pulled him off and gave him a warning there too. Scorpio lunges quickly back at Omega and Pump Kick to Omega's chest sending him down to the mat. Scorpio picks up Omega and lifts him up for a suplex and holds him up in the air.

Lillehammer: See that, that's picture perfect!

Michaels: Scorpio goes through with the suplex but Omega spins himself in the air and lands on his feet! Impressive! Omega with a solid knee to the abdomen, Scorpio hunches over, Omega locks in his arms, lifts him up and Tiger Bomb!!! Omega holds on for the pin.

One...
Tw... Kick out by Scorpio!

Lillehammer: Guess he's got some fight left in him.

Michaels: Scorpio back on his feet and Omega with a running kick to the chest sending Scorpio crashing down to the mat. Omega quickly picks Scorpio back up and Tiger Suplex by Omega! And Scorpio is down again. Omega is starting to show some passion. I think Scorpio may have woken something in him.

Lillehammer: Maybe it's indigestion. That's snarl look on his face would indicate an internal problem.

Michaels: What do you know? Omega goes for a Lariat and Scorpio ducks and goes for a Springboard Leg Lariat but Omega catches him in mid-air and drives him hard into the corner turnbuckle. Omega begins delivering some Violent Party, landing shots to the face and chest, Scorpio is trying to block them but he's not succeeding very well. Omega is on a tear right now. And massive headbutt to Scorpio's face and Scorpio is down and sitting against the post.

Lillehammer: Come on get up, Scorpio!

Michaels: Omega charges and Running Knee right to Scorpio's face. Scorpio just collapsed to the mat. He may be out. Omega grabs Scorpio's leg and drags him to the center of the ring. Omega picks him back up and Brainbuster! Omega quickly goes for the pin again.

One...
Two...
Thre... Kick Out by Scorpio again!

Lillehammer: See not rusty. If he was he would have been pinned already.

Michaels: Yeah, but it's not like he's fairing much better being on the receiving end. Omega picks Scorpio back up and Irish Whip towards the rope. Scorpio runs back and Omega with a Clothesline, but Scorpio ducks! Scorpio bounces off the ropes, and Omega goes for a bearhug this time and Scorpio slides under his legs hooking one of his legs on the way sending Omega crashing to the mat face first.

Lillehammer: Nicely done. Now let's see some innovation and show all these people why you fired this guy in the first place.

Michaels: Omega back on his knees and Scorpio leaps on the ropes and Springboard Leg Lariat by Scorpio and Omega is down again!

Lillehammer: Scorpio's not wasting any time and quickly rolls Omega for a pin, but Omega quickly breaks free even before a 1 count.

Michaels: Omega back to his feet, Scorpio charges and Reverse Atomic Drop by Omega. Scorpio staggers and Omega with a Brutal Lariat!!! I think Scorpio did a somersault here.

Lillehammer: Yikes. Yeah... That was a 9.0. I'm deducting a point because he didn't land on his feet.

Michaels: Only a point?

Lillehammer: The somersault was that impressive, what can I say.

Michaels: Omega slowly picks Scorpio up and Scorpio quickly grabs Omega's neck and delivers a Swinging Neck Breaker! Both men are down and Scorpio instinctively puts his arm on Omega's chest.

One... Kick-Out by Omega!

Lillehammer: Yeah it's going to take more than that. Props to Scorpio having ring presence though and showing us what kind of veteran he is by covering here.

Michaels: Both men get back up and begin taking swings at each other, each taking turns, and Scorpio with another swing, Omega grabs his arm and knees him right in the abdomen. Scorpio begins to keel over and Omega grabs his head and Snapmare Takedown! Omega bounces the ropes and goes for a Running Knee, but Scorpio rolls out of the way! Omega turns around and spinning side kick to Omega's stomach, Scorpio grabs hold of Omega's head and SCORPIO'S SCOURGE!!!

Lillehammer: Scorpio just landed his spinning facebuster finisher!!! PIN HIM!!!

One...
Two...
Thre...KICK OUT by Omega!!!

Lillehammer: I don't believe it... that referee and that slow count of his.

Michaels: Nothing slow about that. Scorpio quickly gets back up and Springboard Moonsault!!! Scorpio hooks the legs again!

One...
Two...
THRE.... NO!!! KICK OUT by Omega again!!!

Lillehammer: Scorpio looks incensed! Scorpio picks Omega back up by the head and tights and spins him around and drives him in the turnbuc... referee!!! Scorpio just gored the referee with Omega's head!!! Damn referee was in the way and the ref is down and out.

Michaels: Though I wouldn't normally be shocked that this was done on purpose by Scorpio, I think this time he had no idea the referee was even there. Scorpio looks angry now and he's just picked up the unconscious referee and chucked him right out of the ring. There's absolutely no reason for that. None.

Lillehammer: He shouldn't have been there, I don't blame him at all.

Michaels: Scorpio has turned his focus back to Omega. Omega is trying to get back to his feet and Scorpio reaches in his tights and surprise surprise folks. A nice pair of shiny brass knucks. This guy makes me sick. Omega turns around and brass knuckles to the side of the head!!! Scorpio just split him open as Omega collapses to the mat. This is disgusting.

Lillehammer: I honestly have nothing to say on this matter.

Michaels: Yeah because you know that guy in the ring should be charged with assault for that shot. At least Scorpio has taken the weapon off his hand and tossed it in the ring. What an ass!!

Lillehammer: Calm down. Omega is crawling to the ropes and he's trying with everything he's got to get back up. And Scorpio just kicked his arms out from him and down goes Omega again.

Michaels: Scorpio grabs hold of Omega's face with his hands and he's shouting at Omega.

Lillehammer: I wonder what he's saying, he's having a long conversation.

Michaels: I'm sure it's nothing that is safe for TV nor for pay per view.

Lillehammer: I'd still be interested to know. Scorpio has dragged Omega up and shoved him against the corner turnbuckle. I don't think Omega's got much left to give here. His face is a crimson red on one side. And Scorpio is slapping him in the face and yelling at him again.

Michaels: Well I heard it this time, He's asking Omega something along the lines of “where's that fire?, where's that inferno?” and another slap by Scorpio. Enough is enough.

Lillehammer: Scorpio is shoving Omega hard into the turnbuckle and Omega has just shoved Scorpio back!

Michaels: I think Scorpio just woke Omega up, should've pinned him when he had the chance.

Lillehammer: The referee was out cold. What was he to do?

Michaels: Not the shit we just saw him do for one. Scorpio smacks Omega in the face again and drives him hard into the turnbuckle again and Omega just bounced back and forearm smash right across Scorpio's face. Scorpio grabs Omega's head and Headbutt again sending him against the turnbuckle. Scorpio swing a right at Omega, Omega ducks!!! Grabs hold of Scorpio in an STO and drives his knee right into Scorpio's groin!!! How's that for some retribution!!

Lillehammer: Not once did Scorpio groin Omega! Not once!

Michaels: Scorpio looks like he's out of breath and Omega follows through with an STO! Scorpio is in agony. He's helped himself back to his feet with the help of the ropes but he's clearly still suffering from the effects of that low blow.

Lillehammer: That is one equalizer no matter who you are. Well unless you're a woman I suppose. Oh crap he's got those brass knuckles... Scorpio look out!!!

Michaels: Omega spins Scorpio around and devastating right hand directly on the nose of Scorpio!!! Scorpio's nose is busted wide open as he falls right down. Now that's an eye for an eye. Omega is simply returning the favor. Scorpio slowly gets back to his feet and another shot!!! Scorpio is down and twitching!!

Lillehammer: Oh you condemn Scorpio for doing it, yet here Omega has just done it not once, but twice!

Michaels: One was for tonight, the other is for the months and months of torment this guy has caused him. Not to mention his contract-less career at this point. Omega tosses the knuckles out of the ring and rolls Scorpio over for the pin. One, Two, Three!

Lillehammer: No referee brainiac. Too many head shots from Mr. Samuels I take it.

Michaels: I know there's no ref, Omega could have had this won right here. Omega releases the hold and simply lays in the ring. The ref is down, Scorpio is down, Omega is down. And here comes a new referee. About damn time.

Lillehammer: Hopefully this one is smart enough to stay out of the way. I blame the first referee for all of this.

Michaels: Of course you would. And the referee has begun to count. As both men begin stirring on the ground.

1... 2... 3...

Lillehammer: Both men have reached the ropes, with Omega already on his knees.

4... 5... 6...

Michaels: Omega is digging deep to pull himself up and Scorpio has just finally managed to get to his knees. Both men are a crimson mess.

7... 8...

Lillehammer: Omega is on his feet, struggling to stay up mind you, come on Scorpio get up!!! You don't want to lose like this.

9... 10...

Michaels: Scorpio just made it to his feet, I'm not sure he made the count though. And the referee is waving his arms, he made it. Though he's wobbly and covered in blood. The referee gives the go ahead sign to continue and Scorpio lunges with a punch at Omega grabs it brings Scorpio's arm between his legs and HEART SHAPED BOX III!!! Omega rolls over and hooks the leg.

One...
Two...
Thre – KICK OUT by Scorpio!!!

Lillehammer: Where did he find the energy to muster that? Omega if you want this you're going to have to earn it.

Michaels: Yeah no doubt. Omega bangs the mat and gets back up. Picks Scorpio up and quick Irish Whip by Omega and COUNTERED by Scorpio!!! Omega bounces back dodges a clothesline attempt by Scorpio! Omega turns around and SPRINGBOARD SCORPIO KILLER!!! Omega nearly got decapitated there!!!

Lillehammer: Scorpio quickly drapes his arm on Omega.

One...
Two...
Thre – KICK OUT by OMEGA!!!

Michaels: Wow... Omega is showing a lot of resilience in kicking out there. Both men are breathing very heavy right now and slowly making their way to their feet with the help of each other's bodies. Omega swings and strikes Scorpio, Scorpio swings and strikes Omega. This is going back and forth folks!

Lillehammer: Both men are exhausted and are sporting matching crimson masks. These guys are giving their all.

Michaels: Omega with another swing and Scorpio blocks and knee to the solar plexus!!! Omega keels over and Scorpio just motioned a cut throat sign with his thumb.

Lillehammer: Scorpio is setting him up here. Time for some repentance!!!

Michaels: Scorpio flips Omega up and POWERBOMB BACKBREAKER!!! Omega is rolling around in pain!

Lillehammer: Scorpio holds onto the legs and goes for the SINFUL REPENTENCE, but Omega is tossing too much, Scorpio's not able to lock in his submission finisher.

Michaels: Scorpio is trying to and Omega powers through sending Scorpio down to the mat. Omega still has life!

Lillehammer: Yeah, Omega has lunged at Scorpio again and Scorpio with a European Uppercut!!! Omega staggers back and Scorpio delivers a standing dropkick to Omega's knee sending him crashing down on all fours to the mat.

Michaels: Scorpio puts Omega's head between his leg once more! He's going to break Omega's back  if he delivers that move again!!! Scorpio flips Omega up and Omega follows through!!! Scorpio turns around to a knee the abdomen as well. Omega wastes no time and flips Scorpio up and HEART SHAPED BOX IV!!!! Omega rolls over and puts his arm over Scorpio!

One...
Two...
Three – NO, SCORPIO JUST KICKED OUT IN TIME!!!

Lillehammer: That was so close!!! Both men are slow to get up!!! Scorpio lunges at Omega with a SCORPIO KILLER, and OMEGA DODGED!!!

Michaels: Scorpio staggers around and Omega quickly flips him up again and HEART SHAP{ED BOX IV AGAIN!!!! Omega follows quickly through, locking the legs!

One...
Two...
THREE!!!

Lillehammer: Where did he find the energy???

Speaker: SETHY!!!! You see that guy, that’s Sethy. He’s good.[/i]

Seth Omega (4.26 APS + 1.2 Vote = 5.46 Total)
Eric Scorpio (4.42 APS + 0.7 Vote = 5.12 Total)

“Pride” by Five Finger Death Punch begins to play in the arena as the referee raises Seth Omega's hand in the ring as he lays on his back in the ring. While Eric Scorpio slowly rolls out of the ring in defeat. Omega slowly makes his way to his feet with the help of the referee.[/I]

Michaels: A well earned victory by Seth Omega tonight. He fought hard, he dug deep and found what he needed in himself to win.

Lillehammer: Don't forget that this was Scorpio's plan all along, to bring out the fire and desire out of Omega. You could say he won too.

Michaels: No. I would not say that at all. And oh crap, come on now. Look who's entering the ring again. Sporting leather trench coat and all. Scorpio is staggering slowly towards Omega and the referee just got in Scorpio's face and down goes the referee with a stiff blow to the face. Scorpio, Omega won, get over it. This match is over.

Lillehammer: The referee should have minded his own business. Scorpio has just walked an arms length away from Scorpio and he's starring him down through all that blood on his face.

Michaels: It's over. Stop this, Scorpio is reaching into his trench coat and Omega has his fists up. Enough!!! Scorpio doesn't remove his stare and oh no, watch out he's pulling out a...

Lillehammer: An envelope! Jeez, you worry too much. Scorpio has pulled out a thick brown envelop and he's handing it to Omega. As promised! See, he's not such a bad guy.

Michaels: Yeah whatever. It's a trick. Omega is cautious but he's slowly reaching and grabbing the other end of the mysterious envelop. Both men simply stare at each other and Scorpio just nodded to Omega!!!

Suddenly the light in the arena turn off for a couple seconds, then turns back on with Seth Omega's arm still outstretched holding a large brown envelop but with no sign of Eric Scorpio in the ring.

Lillehammer: I think what you saw just now was some form of respect from Scorpio. No idea if Omega feels the same, but that's definitely what that was.

Michaels: Well both men just brutalized each other here tonight. Omega has opened the envelop and he is simply smiling.

Lillehammer: Omega is flashing the paperwork to the fans in the arena. And now he's flashing it to the camera. What's it say?

Michaels: It's an Pyromania Wrestling Contract!!! That's what Scorpio had for him? Wow.

Lillehammer: Wow indeed, I could see why Scorpio put Omega through the paces tonight, he wanted to make sure that Omega earned his contract and wasn't just given it.

Michaels: Well one things for sure, Omega is now officially a member for Pyromania!! This secures a spot for him in the Main Event Elimination Tag Team Match at Altered Reality!!! And most importantly, he no longer has to worry about being jobless!

Lillehammer: Well said.

[INDENT][/INDENT]

We fade in backstage to the trainer’s room, where new Western States Heritage Champion Xander Kross labors in, title in his grasp and a grimace on his face. He gingerly sits on the table and places his championship on the table beside him as the trainer examines him.

Trainer: Alright Mr. Kross…

XK: No need ta be so formal, Doc. Xander’s tha name.

Trainer: OK then, Xander. Any idea how you might’ve injured yourself?

XK: Ain’t nobody injured, cuzzo. Jus’ a little bump and bruise, ain’t nothin’ I can’t shake off. Price you pay for goin’ hard is all.

The trainer tries to examine Xander but he is having none of it. He pushes the trainer’s hands away.

XK: No disrespect, but I said I ain’t hurt. Jus’ gimmie a minute or two, aight?

Trainer: Protocol says I have to examine you, I could risk-

The kid says he’s alright. Now go do something else for a few minutes.

The trainer looks in the direction of the voice as Eddie B., dressed to compete saunters in. The trainer tosses his hands up in resignation before departing, while Eddie sternly eyes him off. Xander shakes his head before slowly repositioning himself on the table.

XK: Always gotta be a rude nigga, huh?

EB4: How is it?

XK: How’s what?

EB4: I saw what happened, you look like you screwed something up.

XK: I’ma tell you what I told him, I’m aight. I ain’t as light on my feet no mo’, now that I got that strap over there but trust, ya boy’s dyne.

EB4: … Hmm, well good luck with being “dyne”.

Eddie goes to leave before Xander calls after him.

XK: Pump ya brakes for a second, cuddy. Wanna holla at cha for a bit.

EB4: Make it quick. I’ve got asses to kick.

XK: Yeah, yeah, I know. Regular Ray Guy over here. Anyway, so what ya squad look like?

EB4: For what?

XK: Nigga, ya bout to compete for the alpha dog position on team Pyro. I ain’t seen you getting’ ya Ben Howland on or none of that.

EB4: Don’t worry about it.

XK: Ed, look here. I know we ain’t exactly ace or anythang like it, but assumin’ you win, you gone need cats on yo team that you know gone put in that work.

Eddie rubs his face as he looks towards Xander.

XK: I’m jus’ sayin’, you need a nigga like me on ya team. You see me out here on Beast Mode, Highlight Reel ain’t tasted defeat in months, since tha last pay-per-view if memory serves. On top of that with you on the squad you know you could use someone as suave and debonair as me to up yo appeal. Then again yo ugly ass is prolly content with takin’ a L in tag team situations.

EB4: I’m not impressed with anything you’ve done as of late.

XK: Course not, ya lookin’ at tha future of LPW and given that it’s nice, bright and promising, somethin’ you’ve not been for a good minute, you befuddled right now. Get that hate outcha blood, ain’t no Rihanna here, no point of us scrappin’ bout it. Let Professor X on ya squad, and I promise you’ll be on yo way. Unless you think I’ma outshine and embarrass ya ass, take away yo shots like Westbrook. Which is true but…

EB4: SHUT UP.

Xander quiets down in surprise and scowls at Eddie, who exhales heavily before speaking.

EB4: All the damn talent in the world and you can’t just shut up and let it speak for you. Sad thing is that you think I’m supposed to be impressed that you haven’t lost in a cycle. Neither have I, and you’ve given your little scrape-bys FAR more effort than I’ve given my decisive W’s. You win the Western States Heritage Championship and the first thing you do is flaunt it in the face of the person who has won it more times than anyone in this Godforsaken hellhole. I’m supposed to want you on my team for what, because you’re the best tag team wrestler on this roster or something?

XK: (smirks) I ain’t the braggin’ type, but I am hella nice in team situations, blud.

EB4: Right, and that’s why DJC didn’t get injured. That’s why you didn’t allow your personal grudges to overtake what should have been ColourBlind’s crowning achievement. Tell me something, Xander. Where’s your partner? Where’s your tag team championship? Where are the things that would support your so-called “preeminent team player” status?

Xander’s face becomes one of clear dislike as Eddie continues, scratching his left cheek before speaking again.

EB4: Xander, I…

Xander is looking towards his championship, and with that, Eddie grabs the top of Xander’s head and turns it to face his own.

EB4: You look at me when I’m talking to you, kid. Now, I get that you’re on a bit of a high since you’ve won some gold and all that but believe me, while all these other impressionable assclowns might see something impressive. I see someone with unlimited potential but too inconsistent to ever ultimately realize it, unless he starts to get it through his head that the world doesn’t revolve around him just because he won a few matches in a row.

XK: So you must be lookin’ in a mirror or somethin’, huh?

EB4: You said it, I didn’t. See what I did there, Freddie?

Xander seethes as Eddie continues.

EB4: Unless you’re doing so in spite of something, winning doesn’t really mean anything anymore. I’ve proved it without effort and starting with Falcon and Ryans, that changes tonight. I want to see a consistent effort out of you, son. I ain’t here for you to impress but if you bring your little accomplishments my way I’ll rip ‘em apart. Anyone can win matches or titles. You want to really make me take notice? Keep that roll going, and do a better job than I did as Western States Heritage Champion. Be that long-term champion that people keep clamoring for. Otherwise, I’ll be looking for your imminent slip-up, ready to say I told your scrawny ass so.

Xander hops down from the table, places the WSHC on his shoulder and goes nose to nose with Eddie.

XK: You ain’t gotta worry bout me, Ed. I stays clutch. This is only the start. You lookin’ at a cat that’s gone be tha force than you prolly never will be. I’m global, I’m major, and I’m fuckin’ on. One, nigga.

Xander then storms off, shoulder bumping Eddie on the way. Eddie looks towards Xander and a bit of an impressed smirk crosses his face as we fade out.

Michaels: Looks like some stern words between Eddie and Xander, but not necessarily in anger or frustration.

Lillehammer: Not at all. I think Eddie’s just given Xander the old fashioned “Pull your finger out” talk. I think.

Michaels: You think or know? Because it’s pretty clear to me which one it was.

Lillehammer: I was trying not to insult the intelligence of our fans, and allow them to come to the decision on their own.

Michaels: Why stop now Robert? You do it at every chance you get anyway.

Speaker: Next up is the Kiss My Ass Match! Does that mean the loser gets to kiss my ass? Wait… I get it now! The loser of this match has to kiss the winner’s ass.


Lillehammer: I really should file a complaint about Speaker to Kross himself.

“Pop Bottles” by Birdman feat. Lil Wayne blasts through the arena, as Paul Hammond comes out to herald the entrance of Christian Parkes, whom enters wearing a ‘We Hate Richard Dynamo’ t-shirt, and the United States flag draped over his shoulders. The crowd jeers at the two, as Parkes holds up the Immortal Cup for all to see. Stopping half-way down the ramp, Parkes stretched his hands out, as gold sparks showered from above, with Christian bearing the look of overconfidence. Hammond has a mic, as speaker starts to make the introduction.

Speaker: First up… this dude is pretty mea-

Hammond: This man is like no other man… he’s the holder of the Immortal Cup and a former professional football player. Before, during and after this match, he has and always will be the God of Immortality, and the Best Athlete this World has EVER Seen… From New York City, the pinnacle of the world, CHRISTIAN PAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRKESSSS!

Michaels: Isn’t that laying it on a little thick? Parkes is celebrating as if he has this match in the bag. And Hammond only exacerbates things further when he gets his hands on the mic.

Lillehammer: He does have the match in the bag… who would want Christian’s opponent on the roster when we already filled the quota?

Michaels: I used to be one of the authority figures… that so-called quota shouldn’t be something that is strictly held to, especially with a combatant as skilled as this wrestler coming on stage.


As “Make a Move” by Icon For Hire kicks into gear, Dick Dynamo slowly walks out onto the stage to a pop. Getting down on one knee at the ramp and cracking his knuckles, Dick stares at his opponent with the malice of a feral dragon. He then stood up and crossed his arms in a straight edge pose. Then he raised his hands in the air, as black and blue pyros explode in a magnificent display. Walking down the ramp after the fireworks ceased, the Innovator of Insurrection points directly at Parkes as if he was a marked man.

Speaker: Parkes, your opponent isn’t going to let you win this match that easily. He’s San Diego’s best wrestler, despite saying ‘NO’ to being a midnight toker. He’s world-known… Dick Dynamo!

Lillehammer: I, for one, will NEVER miss Dick Dynamo when he is no longer a part of LPW.

Michaels: Is it because of your right-winged doctrines, Bobby?

Lillehammer: To put it crudely, Misfit, that is right. Gays have no place on the Pyromania roster. And Christian Parkes will likely be rewarded greatly for sending Dynamo packing.

Michaels: If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have taken that warped point of view, and made sure that good talent doesn’t go unnoticed.

Lillehammer: And that’s what separates people of integrity from the Misfits.

Michaels: And there’s the bell, as Dick readies himself in the corner. Parkes holds out his hand to shake.

Lillehammer: Good sportsmanship on Parkes’ mind.

Michaels: Never trust a person like Parkes to be interested in good Sportsmanship, as Dick is doing right now! Instead of shaking, he hits a crotch-chop taunt towards Parkes, and Christian uses his hand to slug the jaw of Double D!

Lillehammer: Dick seems to be returning the favor as he slams a nice fist into the jaw of Christian Parkes. Shouldn’t he be bitch-slapping, and not punching like a man?

Michaels: Parkes is shoving Dick into the corner, giving multiple shoulder thrusts into the turnbuckles. The ref is counting, and Parkes backs away at four.

Lillehammer: The ref should know that he has until five.

Michaels: Parkes with a head of steam… thinking a spear in the corner, but a solid kick to the jaw stops Christian in his tracks.

Lillehammer: A cheap shot made in desperation.

Michaels: I can’t see any desperation from Dynamo this soon into the match. Dick up to the top ropes, and nails a seated senton, and pins him... and Parkes’ kicks out before the first count!

Lillehammer: Now Dynamo’s not going to wait for Parkes to get to a vertical base. He’s going for an inverted facelock! That move is pretty basic for wrestlers… why is he doing that move now?

Michaels: We’re about to find out! Dick now locks in the bodyscissors… Bite of the Dragon! Dick has locked in on Christian Parkes! The attack on the neck would definitely set up Parkes for greater pain in the long run.

Lillehammer: Please don’t tap out…

Michaels: Dick lets go of the hold, and bashes Christian’s head into the canvas! Dick rolls him over for a pin. 1…2… Shoulder up!

Dick slams his fist in the canvas, then waits for Parkes to get up. Dick goes for an Irish whip into the ropes, but was reversed; Dick bounces off the ropes, and jumps up on Parkes’ shoulders, spinning him around!

Michaels: Dick hits a spectacular Tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Parkes is now draped on the ropes, a perfect position for the Getsuga Tenshō.

Lillehammer: Dynamo goes to the ropes… A nice save by Hammond, who trips up Dynamo before the move can be hit!

Michaels: That would’ve disqualified Parkes if the referee had noticed, and you know it!

Lillehammer: Technicalities, Misfit!  Christian takes advantage of the situation by hitting some foot stomps on Dynamo, not letting up even for a second.

Michaels: Now Parkes picks Dick up, and locks him in an Abdominal Stretch! Dynamo’s shouts of pain can be heard even over here!

Lillehammer: This is where Dick should just submit right now, and go back to his gay world, and stay out of wrestling forever.

Michaels: Your bias isn’t doing anything to bolster the ratings, Bobby.

Chants of “Double D” start going as Dick starts to fight his way out of the move, raising his free fist, and punching Parkes in the head once, twice, thrice before he’s free from the hold. Both bounce of the ropes, but Dick was quicker as he stopped himself to pull down the ropes to remove Parkes from the ring!

Lillehammer: More trickery at the hands of the queer.

Michaels: Double D zones in on Parkes, and waits for him to get close to a vertical base. Dick jumps over the ropes onto the apron, and hits a stiff DEATH BY DRAGON II! The sequel connects in form of a Pele Kick, and both men are down at ringside!

Lillehammer: Who would name their move Death by Dragon II? The original wasn’t all that special. I’m glad it caused more damage to Dynamo than it did to Parkes.

Michaels: Don’t start, Bobby. Both wrestlers are being counted out, each of them trying to get up and in the ring before the referee reaches ten. Christian the first to get up and roll into the ring, and out again, pulling Dick up by the hair to get into his head.

Paul Hammond comes up with a mic, as Dick struggles in Christian’s hold. “You have NO friends here, Richard! Clark is DEAD! And so are you!” Parkes exclaimed. Hitting him on the chest with a resounding SMACK!

Lillehammer: Richard gets rolled into the ring by Christian, and Parkes with the pin. 1…2…NO! KICKOUT!

Michaels: Your disrespect for Dick will come back to bite you in the ass; I hope you know that. Christian drags Dick into the middle of the ring, and goes for another pin… DRAGON TRAP! Dick locks Parkes into the Dragon Trap to counter the pin attempt!

Lillehammer: Parkes is countering the submission hold, leaning his weight to get Richard on his shoulders for a pin… 1…2… Dynamo releases the hold to kick out!

Michaels: While Parkes is catching a breather at the corner, Dick kips up to a great reaction from the crowd! Double D stomps his boot, waiting for Parkes to get up. As Christian turns around, Dick hits a crotch chop, and kicks him in the gut. The crowd is behind Dick, as he gets ready for one of his best moves.

Lillehammer: Not the inverted facelock again!

Dynamo: IT’S OVER!!!

Michaels: DEAL WITH IT! Christian’s out like a light as he hits the move!

Lillehammer: Is Richard going to pin him or not? He looks like he can’t decide!

Dick points to Parkes and the crowd boos. He quickly points to the sky, and the cheers decide it for Dick as he gets himself up to the top ropes, and takes flight...

Michaels: DRAGON METEOR PRESS! The move that took out Parkes at Redemption takes him out here tonight at Blistering Inferno! 1… 2… THREE! PUCKER UP PARKES!

Speaker: DUDE! IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S GONNA BE SOME ASS KISSIN’ GOIN’ –

Hammond steals the mic from P. A. Speaker, and shoves the announcer back.

Hammond: Someone WILL get his ass kissed tonight, and it’s NOT going to be Richard Dynamo, Jr.!

Dick Dynamo (4.02 APS + 1.4 Vote = 5.42 Total)
Christian Parkes (3.90 AS + 0.5 Vote = 4.40 Total)

Dick looks confused, as he was blindsided by Mr. Golden! Dick is getting beaten down heavily by the lower-card pYromania team captain! Though he enjoyed beating on the Dynamic Dragon he garnered a lot of heat from the thousands in attendance.

Michaels: What is Mr. Golden doing here?!

Lillehammer: Obviously sparing the millions from seeing Richard’s bare ass. Parkes is joining him in the double team assault.

After quite a beatdown, Hammond gets in the ring, and shouts “THAT’S ENOUGH!” Both Parkes and Golden looks complexed, before Hammond suggests that Dick kisses Parkes ass, instead!

Michaels: This isn’t how the match goes!

Lillehammer: Looks like Dynamo’s last match in LPW ends in a sour note after all! Hammond and Golden are holding him up, And Parkes starts to pull down his trunks, preparing to taste the sweet flavor of revenge…

“Earthquake” by Tinie Tempah feat. Labrinth blasts through the arena once again, as the Mighty Dyno Might runs out to intervene in this injustice! He slams Parkes with lefts and rights! Hammond intervenes, but gets hit with an EXPLOSIVECIDE for his troubles!

Michaels: THE MIGHTY DYNO MIGHT! He’s come to save Dynamo!

Lillehammer: Typical that a fruit would have a friend in a masked freak!

Michaels: Dick is fighting back against Golden, giving him some knife edge chops… Dyno has Parkes on his shoulder… THE DYNO SLEEPS TONIGHT! That knocks him out!

Lillehammer: I’m not going to give this freak any gratification.

Michaels: Dynamo kicks Golden in the gut… DEAL WITH IT! The second one of the night lays Golden flat!

Lillehammer: What is Dynamo pointing at? Oh no… he’s lowering his trunks!

The Mighty Dyno Might grabs Christian Parkes, as Dynamo’s bare ass is exposed for all to see! Dyno spins Parkes around, then plants his face into Dick’s rear end!

Michaels: YES! DICK GOT HIS ASS KISSED!

Lillehammer: What a disgrace.

Michaels: This was a long time coming. You were to blinded by the Damion Kross propaganda to see it. Dick Dynamo is leaving LPW with integrity, and there's nothing anyone else can do about it!

After Dick gets his trunks back up, Dyno and Double D both go to the corners, and get up on the turnbuckles to celebrate. Chants of “Thank You, Dick” overpowers any other chants, as “Make a Move” by Icon For Hire plays once again.

[INDENT][/INDENT]

Michaels: Some powerful words from our General Manager, but before we get to his quest to capture the International Heavyweight Championship, we have a few other issues to sort out first.

Lillehammer: And the first of those is this. For a LONG time now, we’ve had a problem with superstars attacked backstage. This mystery attacker has been ruthless, taking out names like Ken Ryans, the Mighty Dyno Might, Tromboner Man, the list goes on and on.

Michaels: This individual has been targeting Jeff Watson though with this sick mind game, and has even gone as far as kidnapping his wife, Ashley.

Lillehammer: On the last Insanity, Jeff Watson travelled to the dark side, not only to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, but to acuse Azreal of these heinous crimes, and hopefully get some answers.

Michaels: Answers he’s hoping to find right about… now.

“In the Air Tonight” by Nonpoint plays as Jeff Watson appears at the top of the ramp, carrying a duffel bag. The crowd cheers as he makes his way to the ring.


Speaker: This next guy is like, Officer Krupke...er... Watson! Yeah.

Lillehammer: Who is Officer Krupke?

Michaels: West Side Story. God Robert, have you never seen a musical?

Lillehammer: Of course not! I'm a proud hetero-sexual!

Michaels: That doesn't mean you can't enjoy musicals.

Lillehammer: Go ahead and keep your delusions, Michaels.

“Requiem for a Dream” by Clint Mansell plays as Azreal emerges at the top of the ramp. Instead of his usual ring gear, he's dressed in a sleeve-less shirt and cargo pants, with a pair of MMA gloves and two Kendo sticks strapped to his back. The crowd boos heavily as he makes his way down the the ring, starting a Pyro chant.

Speaker: Oh hey, it's the guy in the DeathCube! UltraMorpheus!

The timekeeper runs up to Speaker and whispers in his ear.

Speaker: Oh yeah? Shoot. Uhhh, what I meant to say was Azreal! Yup, it's Azreal! Think he can give me a cat?

Lillehammer: God I hate that man.

Michaels: I'd have thought you'd approve of a PA Speaker entrance for the man who has sworn to defeat Pyromania at Altered Reality.

Lillehammer: I would prefer that he not even be allowed on our broadcast. Unfortunately, people far less proud of this brand made the call, and now our beloved Pyromania Pay-Per-View is disgraced by the presence of Insanity's 'general'.

Michaels: The general of what, exactly, Robert? Insanity's roster are a bunch of idiots fighting amongst themselves.

Lillehammer: It's a sad day where I'm reduced to agreement with a Misfit.

As the referee calls for the bell, Azreal pulls off the Kendo sticks, holding one in each hand.

Lillehammer: That's not even giving Watson a sporting chance! Why did they let this cretin on my show?

Azreal flips one of the kendo sticks around and offers it, handle-first to Watson, who grabs it eagerly.

Michaels: How about that?

Lillehammer: It's obviously a trick of some sort, and Watson fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Watson charges forward, swinging the stick above his head, but gets stopped by a hard poke to the stomach. Reeling, he charges again, but this time Azreal meets the charge, whacking Watson in the stomach as hard as he can. Watson doubles over and falls to his knees.

Michaels: This isn't going very well for Watson.

Lillehammer: Why? Why, out of all of Pyromania's champions, legends and great superstars is Jeff Watson the best we can field against Insanity's field commander?

Michaels: Because none of our legends attempted to arrest an innocent man.

Lillehammer: I would disagree with you, Andrew, but after Ken Ryans' attack earlier tonight, it would appear that Azreal isn't the attacker.

Michaels: Watson is probably wishing he'd known that before he agreed to this match.

Azreal pulls back for a swing but stops, backing away into his corner and shouting at Watson.

Lillehammer: What the hell is he doing?

Michaels: I don't know, it doesn't seem like Azreal wants a beating. He's screaming for Watson to get back up.

Obliging, Watson gets back to his feet, but motions for Azreal to put down the kendo stick.

Michaels: I guess Watson's looking for a straight-up brawl here.

Lillehammer: Perhaps not the smartest of moves, but he's showing Pyromania's determination to put talent above violence.

Laughing, Azreal drops the stick and waves Watson forward. Watson grabs the kendo stick at his feet and lunges forward.

Lillehammer: Or maybe it was the smart decision after all.

Michaels: Watson just tricked Azreal into dropping his weapon! He's going in for the kill.

Watson leaps forward, swinging the stick downwards, but Azreal catches it. Smirking, Azreal starts to bend the stick back towards Watson, applying more pressure until finally....

SNAP!

The stick breaks in half. Watson drops his half and backs away quickly as Azreal laughs.

Lillehammer: Oh my god.

Michaels: Kendo sticks can break?

Lillehammer: I've never seen anything like that before!

Michaels: Neither has Watson.

Azreal finally goes on the attack with a number of closed-fist punches to Watson's face and chest before whipping him across the ring. On the rebound, he lays Watson out with a snap powerslam.

Michaels: A painful looking powerslam by Azreal sends Watson to the mat.

Lillehammer: He follows it up with his running senton, and at almost 350 lbs, that hurts.

Azreal backs off and let's Watson get up before jokingly challenging him to a lockup. To his surprise, Watson agrees.

Lillehammer: A good old-fashioned test of strength, that's what I like to see.

Michaels: But considering that Azreal is almost a foot taller and over 100 lbs heavier, it might not have been Watson's smartest choice.

Lillehammer: I'm aware. However, I am determined to delude myself into thinking that he can win.

Watson is struggling in vain in the lockup, and finally Azreal is done playing, breaking through Watson's guard and headbutting him.

Michaels: Called it. Watson has just not been able to get much offense in in this match.

Azreal follows up on the headbutt with several more before dropping Watson with a DDT.

Lillehammer: That's true, Azreal has been pretty dominant since the opening bell. I fear for my brand.

Azreal is walking around the ringside area before he ducks under the ring apron. Pulling out some tables, he slides one into the ring before climbing back in himself.

Michaels: Going to get that table might cost him here, as Watson is back in the action, stomping away at Azreal as he tries to rise.

Lillehammer: Yes! Go Watson, for Pyromania!

Azreal makes it back to his feet and Watson bounces off the far ropes, catching the back of Azreal's knee with a chop block.

Michaels: Watson brings Azreal down to one knee, but he can't quite knock him off his feet.

Watson stoops to grab Azreal's fallen kendo stick and cracks it across his back. Azreal falls to his hands and knees and Watson lays a series of strikes into Azreal's back and arms.

Lillehammer: That might be Watson's best strategy. Take the big man down and just lay into him with shots from that weapon.

Michaels: Watson is not letting Azreal draw breath here, dozens of shots from the stick are keeping the big man down.

Lillehammer: I guess Azreal is paying the penalty for taking an American lawman to the courts.

Michaels: Or maybe the one for pissing off a man with serious anger management issues.

As Watson stops to catch his breath, Azreal uses a burst of energy to leap back to his feet and blast Watson with a heavy right hand. Azreal grabs him bodily by the collar and tosses him into the corner, laying into him with punches and elbow strikes.

Michaels: That's even harder to watch than the beating from the Kendo stick, Watson is just getting pummeled!

Lillehammer: So much for a man who claims to pride himself on his control. His facade is slipping, and we're seeing the animal Insanity has leading the charge.

Azreal finishes the combo with a hard chop to the chest before he lets Watson fall. He walks over to the opposite corner and waits until Watson is back on his feet.

Michaels: He's just gloating now, showing why Insanity will never win at Altered Reality.

Lillehammer: Because Pyromania is the far superior brand of course.

Michaels: And because of the ego that drives a man to let his opponent rise just to kick him back down.

As Watson struggles back up, Azreal goes to meet him in the middle of the ring but Watson turns and jumps on the turnbuckle.

Michaels: Watson's changing up his game here, going for more of his highflying offence.

Watson leaps off with a Shooting Star Press, but while he's in mid-air, Azreal sidesteps and Watson goes crashing into the mat.

Lillehammer: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god, that's hilarious!

Michaels: It's certainly funny, but that miss could give a win to Insanity!

Lillehammer: Who cares? That highlight reel would make the missing point almost worth it.

Azreal backs into a corner as Watson gets up on his knees. As soon as Watson gets back on his feet, Azreal howls like a wolf and charges forward with a brogue kick.

Michaels: No! Watson didn't get out of the way! The Force of Will connected!

1.....2....

Michaels: Azreal just broke his own pin! What could he be thinking?

Lillehammer: Who cares? Pyro can win now!

Azreal drops Watson to the mat and picks up the table, popping out the legs. He sets the table up properly and grabs Watson, screaming to the crowd “powerbomb!”

Lillehammer: Is he announcing his moves now?

Michaels: I told you, it's the Insanity ego.

Azreal lifts Watson for the powerbomb, but Watson lands a few strikes to the head and slides down his back.

Michaels: Ha! I told you. Watson's out!

Watson bounces off the ropes and charges Azreal, who picks him up and drives him through the table with a spinebuster.

Michaels: Or not.

Lillehammer: I say again, why are we letting him represent our brand?

Watson rolls off the wreckage of the table and out of the ring as Azreal goes out the other side. Watson starts rummaging through his bag as Azreal pulls a glove out of one of his pockets, quickly switching it with the one he was wearing.

Michaels: What is Azreal doing?

Lillehammer: Unless his homosexuality has pervaded his life to the point where he stops a match to change clothes, I'd guess that the glove is rigged somehow.

Watson rolls back into the ring and plays dead, hiding something under his chest as Azreal saunters back in. Azreal grabs Watson's should and rolls him over, only for Watson fire a Taser at him. The first shot misses, but the second catches him in the chest.

Michaels: Oh my god!

Lillehammer: Watson just Tazed Azreal! I guess he figured out how to stop the giant.

Michaels: Wait, are we seeing a WCW retread?

The blast knocked Azreal to his hands and knees, so Watson blasts him again and knocks him flat on the ground.

Michaels: Watson just dropped the giant. This has got to be over.

As Watson recovers, a trainer runs down to check on Azreal. After a few moments, the trainer throws up the 'X' and another trainer starts bringing a stretcher.

Lillehammer: My god, is he injured? The trainers just called for a stretcher, he must be seriously hurt!

The trainer starts talking to the referee while waiting for the stretcher, waving their arms around.

Michaels: The referee has got to call this match. I think Watson just won the match for Pyromania.

Lillehammer: That's true, but even I can't get excited about that while a superstar is injured. I hope he's okay.

Michaels: What does this mean for Ragnarok?

The stretcher hits the ring and the trainers and referee start trying to roll Azreal out. His hands shoot out, grabbing the trainers by the throat and shoving them out of the ring. Slowly, painfully, he drags himself up onto his hands and knees.

Michaels: Oh my god, how is he still moving?

Lillehammer: A true warrior never stays down. Well done Azreal...

Watson hears the crowd start cheering and turns around just in time to see Azreal get back on his feet. Lumbering slowly, Azreal moves towards Watson, who is trying desperately to 'reload' the Taser. Watson finally manages a reload and shoot Azreal a third time just as Azreal grabs him. The shock travels through them both and both men crash to the ground, Azreal falling out of the ring entirely.

Michaels: Three blasts from a Taser is enough to kill some people, why the hell did Azreal get back up?

Lillehammer: Two and a half. Watson shared the third blast. Besides, a man of Azreal's size can keep moving far longer than most people.

Michaels: That's still more than enough to cause serious damage, and now both competitors have been taken down.

The referee scoops up the fallen Taser and quckly disassembles it, throwing the pieces all around the ringside area.

Lillehammer: Is he allowed to do that?

Michaels: Probably not, but I'm fully behind his decision to do so. Some things do not belong in a wrestling ring.

Lillehammer: Now, with both competitors on the ground, the ref looks to start the KO count.

1...

2...

Watson grabs the bottom rope and starts to pull himself up.

3...

4...

Azreal starts to stir on the outside as Watson stumbles to his feet.

5..

6...

7...

Watson lets go of the rope, finally able to support his own weight while Azreal scrabbles at the ring apron.

8...

Michaels: Oh my god..... Azreal's almost to his feet!

9...

1-No![/i]

Michaels: Azreal got back up! The referee had to break the count! Watson is furious!

Lillehammer: With the count broken Azreal falls back down, unable to hold himself up.

Michaels: Watson apparently decided not to take it out on the referee, follows Azreal outside.

Watson ducks under the apron and pulls out a chair.

Lillehammer: Watson is apparently trying to match violence with Azreal, who is still not moving after those blasts from the Tazer.

With some effort, Watson picks Azreal up to his feet and starts pushing him into the ring. Once he manages to get him inside, he picks up the chair and lays into Azreal, opening up gashes on his back. Azreal struggles back to his feet and catches the chair on it's next swing. Watson, unable to break Azreal's grip, drops the chair and backs away.

Lillehammer: How is Azreal still moving after all of that?

Michaels: Not only is he moving, he's still fighting!

Azreal drops the chair, holding himself up with the ropes. Watson sees his opportunity and charges right into a big boot from Azreal.

Michaels: Well, I was going to say that Watson took advantage, but the boot from Azreal nipped that in the bud.

Exhausted, Azreal collapses next to Watson and rolls out of the ring, landing on his feet outside. Slowly, Azreal walks over to a fan in attendance, who flips him off. Azreal ignores the fan completely and grabs his drink, gulping it down before pouring the rest over his head.

Michaels: I guess he was really thirsty?

Lillehammer: Enough to steal a fan's drink? I've never seen anything like it.

Michaels: Neither have I, but then, I've never seen anyone get Tased here either.

Lillehammer: Fair point. Either way, it seems to have done the trick, and Azreal is moving at almost his normal pace. He slides back into the ring, where Watson is waiting for him with a chair.

Watson charges forward with the chair raised, but Azreal punches it out of his hands. Watson pauses, confused for a moment before Azreal levels him with a big right hand.

Lillehammer: I guess that glove was weighted. Punching the chair didn't even faze Azreal, but the shot to Watson knocked him for a loop.

Azreal mounts Watson and starts raining down right hands with that weighted glove, splitting Watson's forehead open and busting his nose before Azreal gets up. Azreal looks around at the audience and flips them all off, screaming “Look at your hero!” until he's drowned out by boos.

Michaels: I guess Azreal wants us to look at our hero.

Lillehammer: But I'm out here.

Michaels: I think he's referring to Watson, who it appears has a broken nose. I'm also not sure if he's conscious anymore.

Lillehammer: I don't think that matters to Azreal right now, this isn't a match anymore, this is a very angry man with his worst enemy completely at his mercy and a lifetime of issues to work out.

Azreal picks up Watson's unconscious body and sets it up on top of the turnbuckle before stepping through the ropes and onto the apron.

Michaels: I don't think I like where this is going.

Azreal grabs Watson around the throat and starts to leap off the apron but Watson knocks the hand off his throat.

Michaels: Watson stopped the chokeslam!

Azreal turns back and Watson leaps off the turnbuckle, wrapping his legs around Azreal's neck and hitting a hurricanrana through the stretcher.

Lillehammer: Watson just broke the stretcher with Azreal's face!

Michaels: Watson made the right move there, turning Azreal's attempt at a chokeslam into a hurricanrana and snapping that stretcher in half.

Lillehammer: That was an absolutely beautiful move, and a brutal one leaving both competitors worse for the wear.

The referee starts a knockout count, but Watson gets to his feet before the count of five. Struggling, Watson manages to pick Azreal up and roll him into the ring.

Lillehammer: Go for the pin now, Jeff. Azreal has been knocked cold.

Michaels: Apparently Watson wants to put a stamp on the whole business, fighting to get Azreal up in the firemans carry.

As soon as Watson pulls Azreal onto his shoulders a man dressed all in black with a ski mask on leaps the guardrail.

Lillehammer: Oh balls, a fan just jumped the guardrail. Get security down here!

Michaels: I'm not so sure that's a fan, Robert.

Watson sees the man climbing into the ring and charges, dropping Azreal as he goes to meet his new attacker. The man waits until Watson reaches him and then turns the charge into a german suplex.

Lillehammer: That is definitely not a random fan. Is he working for Azreal, or is he the man that's been tormenting Watson?

Michaels: Either way, he's abusing whatever Azreal left of Watson. He's laying into Watson with a ton of hard closed-fist punches.

Lillehammer: Since this match was No Holds Barred, the referee legally can't do anything to stop this. The match is still going on.

The masked man picks Watson up and sets him up in the corner, smacking him around before backing into the opposite corner and running in with a dropkick to the chest.

Michaels: A hit like that could break ribs, and we still have no idea who he is or why he's doing this.

Lillehammer: Obviously Watson's work with law enforcement has made him some dangerous enemies.

Michaels: You don't seem to distressed, Robert.

Lillehammer: I'm only upset that this man seems determined to cost Pyromania a point on the scoreboard.

The man pulls Watson out of the corner and spins him around, leveling him with a superkick.

Michaels: You don't mind this man dismantling a Pyromania superstar?

Lillehammer: Attacks like this are natural in the business, it's not worth getting upset anymore.

With Watson flat on his back, the man stomps on his face and starts kicking Watson's prone body before grabbing his legs and pulling him into a Boston Crab, digging his knee in Watson's back.

Michaels: Wait. I've seen that move before....

Lillehammer: So have I, but where?

As Watson screams and claws at the canvas, Azreal has gotten back to his feet, watching at ringside with a big smile on his face. He climbs into the ring as the man releases the hold.Looking at Watson lying still, the man grabs him and struggles to put him on the top turnbuckle as Azreal watches happily. As soon as Watson is seated the man turns and pulls him back off with a top rope neckbreaker.

Lillehammer: Now that move I know.

Michaels: It can't be...

Lillehammer: I hope it's not, please tell me it's not him....

The man waves Azreal over, who silently sets one foot on Watson's chest as the referee counts.

1...2...3!

Speaker: I guess that means that like, Azreal wins or something. Right?

Azreal (4.33 APS + 1.4 Vote = 5.73 Total)
Jeff Watson (3.80 APS + 0.5 Vote = 4.30 Total)[/i]

Lillehammer: That match was a travesty from start to finish.

Azreal leaves the ring to a massive chorus of boos as the man in black starts to laugh loudly. The man grabs a microphone as Azreal vanishes backstage, but says nothing, watching as Watson starts to stir. The man, still laughing, grabs his balaclava and pulls it off, revealing Ryan James.

Michaels: RYAN JAMES! Ryan James is the mystery attacker and Watson's tormentor!

Lillehammer: That damned Canadian has been behind everything!

Michaels: What the hell has he been thinking?

Watson almost makes it back to his feet before Ryan James finally starts speaking.

James: I’ve started it Jeff. It’s all in motion. I have your girl, and I have your attention. At Altered Reality Six, I’ll also have your dignity!

As soon as Watson turns to face him, James drops him again with the Freedom Fall cutter before leaving Watson's broken body and heading backstage through a huge ovation of boos and jeers.

Lillehammer: I think we've got our next match for Altered Reality, and on the back of such a huge reveal.

Michaels: Will Watson even be able to make it to Altered Reality?

[INDENT][/INDENT]

[COLOR="#FFA500"]DJC: Double D! Wait up, nigga!

Stopped abruptly from his walk toward his rental car, Dick Dynamo stands tall after beating Christian Parkes in the “Kiss My Ass” Match earlier tonight. He was in street clothes now, wearing old jeans and a PoV t-shirt with his logo. Double D was about to go through the exit to the Parking Lot when DeSean J. Connery was trying to catch up to him.

DJC: First of all, Dragon, major props to ya winning yer match earlier tonight. Second, what are your thoughts of being the last member of Team Golden at Altered Reality?

Double D was slightly grateful for DJC giving him a compliment. The announcement that he had a match, however stopped Dick in his track of thought.

Dynamo: You got it wrong there, DeSean… I have no match at Altered Reality, seeing that my contract expires at the end of the night. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have my future to worry about.

DJC: Wait, nigga. This news just broke out after yer match ended. You and that Dyno hood both became the last members of the Lower-card Pyromania team.

It was common fact that Damion Kross wanted Dynamo out of the company, and he got his wish. Something didn’t sound right about being booked for Altered Reality. Biting his lip, he took his duffel bag, and shoved it onto DJC.

Dynamo: I need to talk to cﾘnical about this… if you’ll excuse me.

The controversial Pyromania wrestler walked away from DJC, looking a bit frustrated over the mixed messages management was giving him.[/COLOR]

Michaels: Wait… are you telling us that Dynamo had no idea going into his match tonight he was the final member of the undercard team?

Lillehammer: Mr. Golden announced it to the world, but it obviously didn’t register in his mind. You know, with all the queer thoughts bouncing around in there.

Michaels: Give it a rest! This is going to prove to be a very interesting dynamic on the Undercard team at Altered Reality 6. Well, this next match will be the rekindling of a rivalry, and additionally we will find out who will lead the best damn brand in LPW towards victory on our federation’s greatest night as Eddie B. takes on White Falcon. While this was supposed to be a Triple Threat affair, due to the events that have transpired, obviously things have changed.
 
Lillehammer: My protégé should have never had to risk his captaincy in the first place and now, he doesn’t even get the fair chance to defend it! This utter hogwash of a match should be cancelled!
 
Michaels: And you should continue to be a biased jackoff whose so-so commentary is boosted up by his blustering nature of speaking.
 
Lillehammer: Considering your ideals, your opinions aren’t worth cleaning ass.


[/color]

“Sun Music” by Charles Hamilton pumps into the speakers to a raucous reaction as our view changes to an entering wrestler’s perspective. The now darkened arena illuminates with pulsing pale green lights as the imposing Eddie B. saunters into the frame, the slogan “Hard Hits and Head Kicks” on the back of his shirt being all that our view sees. As our view goes to a side position, Eddie stares towards the ring menacingly before proceeding down, removing his shirt before entering the squared circle.

Speaker: What kind of question is that, brah? I’m not even an… can I say the N-word or will EDDIE B. come over here and do angry black guy stuff?
 
Michaels: Edward looks very focused here. To be quite honest if the volatile 250-pounder can keep his temper in check, Falcon could be in for a long night. Still, I look forward to the confrontation. After all, the leader of Pyromania’s top team should be someone heading in on a roll.

Lillehammer: No, the leader should be Ken Ryans but a damned scoundrel committed a vile act of treason, un-Americanism, you name it! I demand the book be thrown at that… that… whoever was responsible!

Michaels: Hey buddy, when you’re ready to hop off Ken’s jock and join us normal people, let me know.

Lillehammer: I’ll never be your “buddy”, you filthy commie!

As Eddie squats and stretches, “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash hits the PA to cheers. White Falcon enters into view and proceeds to the ring. His normally relaxed demeanor is replaced by a scowl towards one of his most recent hated rivals. The Hallowed Hitman walks onto the steps, uttering a short prayer and making a Catholic cross gesture. Then, he enters the ring and removes his white rob, rotating his taped wrists and fists as Eddie rises up and clenches his gloved counterparts.

P.A. Speaker: It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s WHITE FALCON! Wait… a Falcon is a bird right? Or is he like Captain Falcon? FALCON PUNCH HIM, DUDE!
   
Michaels: Neither competitor has taken their eye of the other, this one should be hard fought and very intense. Rob, what’s your pick here?
 
Lillehammer: Ken Ryans.
 
Michaels: OK, besides him?

Lillehammer: Eddie’s an American and he’s on a hot streak but to be honest, I don’t trust the man in team situations thusly wouldn’t want him to lead the team. The Italian is not to be trusted period; thusly there is no other option but Ryans. Logic. Understand it, Michaels.

Michaels: Your mouth. Shut it.
 
The referee explains the ramifications of the match’s result and signals for the bell to be rung. Falcon and Eddie then begin to circle the ring before locking into a collar-and-elbow tie-up.

Michaels: The two lock up now and Falcon is just muscled into the corner. The two break and apparently, Falcon’s “number one” in the mind of the self-proclaimed Minnesota Violence Party.

The crowd ‘ooohs’ at Eddie’s non-verbal insult. Falcon merely shakes his head before they lock up again. Eddie B shifts into control with a headlock. Falcon tries to throw EB4 off toward the ropes but the stronger Eddie counters into a headlock takeover, which Falcon immediately head-scissors out of. Eddie kicks up from that and finds himself on the business end of an armdrag takeover. Eddie works his way to his feet and grabs Falcon by the hair, causing the hold to be loosened. Eddie turns it into an Irish Whip, knocks down Falcon with a standing shoulder block and charges the adjacent ropes. He jumps over Falcon, who gets to his feet and responds with a leap frog over Eddie then grounds EB on the rebound with a kneeling Fireman’s Carry takeover.  Falcon applies an armlock as Eddie tries to get to his feet.

Michaels: So far the two look evenly matched but Falcon’s technical expertise is holding the early advantage. Eddie B. did spend time in Japan to stay sharp just in case of a comeback to LPW. Japanese wrestlers are well-known for their technical ability and Eddie seems to have grown in that regard.

Lillehammer: The old Eddie would not dare try to trade holds or sequences with a crafty mat specialist like Falcon. Americans should dictate the pace and if this becomes a scientific encounter, I do not expect the right nation to come out on top.

Michaels: Is it always about America versus the World with you?

Lillehammer: As the young generation would put it, they’re all haters.
 
Michaels: Perhaps, but Eddie is to his feet now, and he reverses Falcon’s armlock into an arm wrench of his own. Eddie pulls Falcon towards him and transitions into a school boy! 1! 2! Falcon kicks out and has a cradle of his own! Eddie powers out right before 2 as the two reach a standoff!

Falcon remains on a knee, studying Eddie who merely stares on as he slowly stands up. The crowd offers a polite applause to the competitors.
 
Lillehammer: I don’t think Falcon expected that plan of attack. Never underestimate an American, even if his in-ring style is the epitome of ‘American Muscle’!
 
Michaels: Falcon still looks confident though and he motions for Eddie to bring it on. They go for the lock-up and Falcon stops short with a kick to the gut! Falcon’s peppering in some forearms, a bit more physical than his norm!
 
Lillehammer: He has the gall to try and beat one of, if not THE, hardest hitter in LPW at his own game? Poppycock!
 
Michaels: Falcon’s got him in a headlock now, Eddie lifts him but Falcon shifts into a headlock takeover! Now Eddie headscissors out of it! Falcon sidesteps the charging  Eddie and tries to leapfrog, EDDIE CAUGHT HIM!
 
Lillehammer: Nowhere for him to go now! Eddie’s shifting him around for something, not sure what…

Eddie positions Falcon for a Faarooq-esque Spinebuster, and forcefully slams Falcon into the turnbuckle as the crowd ‘ooohs’. Falcon crumples to all fours as Eddie swarms in for further damage in the vein of stomps to his downed opponent.
 
Michaels: What impact from Eddie!
 
Lillehammer: Are you shocked? Really? Eddie is all about high-impact, brute force and has ability to turn the tide in one move! Falcon looks in a bad way now!

Michaels: Eddie takes Falcon to his feet and snaps off a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge!  1! 2! Falcon gets the shoulder up! Eddie wasting no time here, he’s got the Butterfly Lock cinched in as Falcon tries to fight out of it!

Lillehammer: Like this strategy here. He grounds the faster Falcon and softens up the neck and back, which should bode well for Eddie’s more vicious slams, as well as the new addition of a Modified Brainbuster to the arsenal.

Michaels: Eddie’s showing no sort of emotion or tiredness, he seems to be fully in control. Falcon’s scooting towards the ropes now and he gets a foot on the bottom rope. Eddie works the ref’s count up to four before releasing.

Lillehammer: He’s going to have to stay on him, he can’t let Falcon breathe.

Michaels: Eddie whips Falcon off the ropes, Falcon ducks the clothesline and fires back with a spinning heel kick! Falcon’s grimacing a little bit but he follows up with a jumping fistdrop. Eddie rolls out of the ring looking to get a breather.
 
Eddie tries to shake the cobwebs loose but the Hallowed Hitman senses his opportunity, runs to the ropes and wipes out Eddie B with a Tope con Hilo as the crowd pops for Falcon!
 
Michaels: What a graceful move from the high-flying Hall of Famer! Eddie most definitely doesn’t know where he is now!

Lillehammer: That may have tweaked his back a little, who knows!

Michaels: Well he looks fired up to me!

Lillehammer: The ref’s count is up to four now and Eddie’s getting to his feet and Falcon’s waiting for him!
 
Michaels: Falcon just rams Eddie backfirst into the apron and follows up with a palm strike uppercut before rolling him back into the ring. Falcon wants to make a statement and defeat Eddie here tonight!

Eddie gets to his feet and Falcon grabs him by the waist then executes a picture-perfect German Suplex!

Michaels: Expertly done German Suplex, Falcon holds for the bridge but Eddie powers out just after 2!
 
Lillehammer: How vomit-inducing it would be for an American to fall to a Nazi Suplex… close call by Eddie there.

Michaels: Falcon’s in firm control after that spot of trouble and look at those forearm clubs to Eddie. This newfound viciousness has served him well thus far! Falcon has Eddie where he wants him!

Lillehammer: He’s got him cornered now, hard knife-edge chop to Eddie! What are you doing boy, fight back!
 
Falcon backpedals and goes for a Stinger Splash, nailing it. Falcon backs up once again but he lands in the clutches of Eddie, who places him on the top rope. Eddie fires a right hand but Falcon blocks it and kicks him away. Falcon then looks to go for high-risk.
 
Lillehammer: Falcon seems to have been a step ahead of Eddie tonight… this is discouraging.
 
Michaels: Falcon is almost to the top, but Eddie charges! EDDIE STEPS UP OFF THE TOP ROPE AND BLASTS HIM WITH ‘OUTSIDE LOOKING’! Falcon slumps to a seated position, he’s clearly knocked loopy!
 
Lillehammer: Did you hear the impact of the boot to the skull! Eddie’s starting to dance with what brung him! It’s a miracle Falcon didn’t go tumbling down!
 
Michaels: Eddie’s standing back up gingerly and he’s got that look in his eye!
 
Lillehammer: This may be Eddie’s chance!

Eddie quickly walks over to the dazed Falcon and starts drilling him with various punches, forearms and overhand chops to the chest: right hand, overhand chop, left forearm, lather, rinse, and repeat. The pace and intensity of Eddie’s onslaught speeds up before Eddie launches a stinging throat thrust uppercut, knocking Falcon backward. Eddie then goes to the top rope.
 
Michaels: Eddie’s opening up on him now! He’s never been much for high-risk but after that Enziguri of his, I won’t put it past him! This could be a momentum swing here!

Lillehammer: Eddie’s trying to hook him for a Superplex but Falcon’s trying to fight it with some shots to the gut, nothing doing as Eddie responds with some harsh pointed elbows to the back of the neck, OOF!
 
Michaels: The ref’s count is up to three now, and Eddie has him hooked! He’s going all the way to the top rope! He’s got him up and BIG SUPERPLEX FROM EDDIE B.!
 
Lillehammer: That might’ve taken a good bit out of Eddie as well; Both men, one better than the other for obvious reason, are down! The ref’s counting now!
 
1… 2… 3…
 
Michaels: Eddie’s sitting up gingerly, but he hasn’t quite got his bearings back yet! Eddie shakes the cobwebs loose and crawls over to Falcon as the ref’s count reaches five! COVER! 1! 2! KICKOUT FROM FALCON!
 
Lillehammer: I thought he had the captaincy locked up there! Falcon’s showing some resiliency. Being smacked around like that and then absorbing a Superplex takes some guts!
 
Michaels: Was that a compliment to a non-American?
 
Lillehammer: What the hell are you talking about? Have we not met, you hated scum?
 
Michaels: Anyway, Eddie has Falcon up, bulrushes him into the corner with a shoulder thrust! Eddie scoops him now and he’s got him in the Tree of Woe!
 
Lillehammer: Falcon’s in trouble now, I can feel it!

Falcon flails about trying to escape his predicament but Eddie starts firing off lefts and rights to the body at a ballistic pace as Falcon isn’t exactly able to cover up. Eddie finishes it off with a spinning sole kick to the gut. Eddie then backs to the opposite corner, charges and delivers a picture-esque jumping low angle dropkick to Falcon’s face, which sends Falcon slinking down from the ropes!

Michaels: ANGER MANAGEMENT COMBINATION FROM EDDIE B! Eddie yanks him away from the ropes and covers! 1! 2! TH-FALCON GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Lillehammer: Eddie’s pouring it on now, Falcon’s clearly starting to wilt under Eddie’s ground and pound style!

Eddie sneers at Falcon before standing up and preparing for his next move. Eddie grabs Falcon by the arm from behind and spins him around, looking for a short range lariat but Falcon ducks it and counters with an Inverted DDT. Falcon covers, only getting two.
 
Michaels: Falcon’s resourceful counter has bought him some time, but Falcon’s looking to block out the pain. Eddie’s back up and walks into a VICIOUS elbow strike from Falcon!
 
Lillehammer: Eddie’s not off his feet, but he’s a little rocked!
 
Falcon uses some Sting-esque backhands to stun Eddie even more. Falcon goes for an Irish Whip but Eddie reverses it. He catches Falcon and goes for a Tilt-A-Whirl slam but Falcon lands behind Eddie. Eddie turns around and Falcon scoop slams him. Falcon then bounces off the ropes, does a split-second prayer and drops a stinging knee on the grounded Eddie. Eddie rolls away and staggers to his feet, stumbling into a Falcon Side Effect slam. White Falcon grimaces, holding his torso as he scales the top rope.

Michaels: Falcon’s looking to soar here! Eddie’s down in a bad way!
 
Lillehammer: Eddie needs to move, this could be the end!

Michaels: Falcon swoops! MOONSAULT CRUSHES EDDIE!

Lillehammer: It doesn’t matter, Falcon’s core has taken a beating this entire match and that did nothing but aggravate it!
 
Michaels: Then it most certainly affect Eddie! Falcon sucks up the pain and covers! 1! 2! TH-EDDIE KICKS OUT!
   
Lillehammer: Heart of an American, I tell you!
 
Michaels: Falcon looks towards the heavens, he may be signaling for the end!
 
Falcon takes the dazed Eddie to his feet and sets up for a Crucifix Powerbomb, Eddie’s resistance coupled with the toll of the match causes Falcon to drop Eddie behind him. He turns around and Eddie doubles him over with a Manhattan Drop. Eddie follows with the sole kick/modified running high knee combination that he calls ‘Sober Karaoke’. Eddie however foregoes the cover, instead waiting for Falcon to get up.
 
Lillehammer: Falcon’s got no comprehension of where he is and Eddie’s measuring him!
 
Michaels: Eddie probably should have went for the cover but Falcon’s up to his feet, Eddie runs to the ropes, springboards off – LOWERED EXPECTATIONS 2K12 CONNECTS!!

Lillehammer: A ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAN CHUCK NORRIS AND MYSELF COULD BE PROUD OF! THIS ONE IS OVER!

Eddie remains on the mat for a couple of seconds as the match has taken its toll on him as well as the downed Falcon. Eddie then sits up, crawls over to Falcon, shoots the half and covers.

Michaels: COVER! 1! 2! THR-FALCON KICKED OUT BEFORE THREE!
 
The crowd gasps at the nearfall as Eddie snatches up towards the ref. As Falcon rolls onto his stomach, Eddie just eyes the official, saying no words but holding up three fingers incredulously.
 
Lillehammer: HE HAD HIM DAMN IT! How did he kick out!
 
Michaels: That’s called toughness, Robbie! You wouldn’t know much about that! Eddie looks pissed now!

Eddie B. stalks Falcon, who gets to his knees. Eddie then starts firing off hard, measured right hands to Falcon, spewing out verbal insults after each blow.

EB4: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME, BITCH? YOU AIN’T ON MY MOTHER FUCKING LEVEL, ASSCLOWN!

Lillehammer: Those shots have to be taking a toll. It’s only a matter of time now, and MY REAGAN! That last one had some sting!

Eddie beats on his chest three times and makes an “It’s Over” gesture, yelling out “THAT’S IT!” Eddie hooks up Falcon in a front facelock.
 
Michaels: This could be the “Negative Zero” Brainbuster! Eddie lifts but FALCON KNEES HIM IN THE TOP OF THE HEAD! FALCON LANDS BEHIND HIM! OH MY GOD WHAT A WHITE LIGHT!!
 
Lillehammer: Eddie landed head first it looks like! Eddie has to be knocked out!
 
The crowd cheers as both men lie on the mat. The ref starts his count as Falcon stirs a little bit. Eddie lies motionless.
 
Michaels: That was the most vicious “White Light” I’ve ever seen but Falcon’s slow to cover! Ref is up to 4 now!
 
5… 6… 7…
 
Michaels: Falcon sits up! Eddie still hasn’t moved! Falcon’s crawling and he’s got a lateral press!

Lillehammer: KICK OUT FOR AMERICA, EDWARD!

Michaels: 1! 2! THRE-EDDIE GOT THE SHOULDER UP AT TWO AND NINE-TENTHS!!!

Michaels: Falcon cannot believe it! He thought he had won the captaincy there! Eddie’s trying to get to his feet! He gets to a knee but Falcon runs him over with a running high knee! Harley Race approves!

Lillehammer: Eddie’s going to lose to an Italian… what madness is this!
 
Michaels: Falcon’s trying to pull Eddie to his feet but Eddie’s pretty much dead weight! Falcon’s finally got him up; he’s looking for the White Light again! He spins but Eddie spins opposite of him and shoves him chest first into the turnbuckle! Falcon stumbles out and he’s got the goozle!
 
Lillehammer: This might be that ominous “Shinigami-Plex”! I saw Eddie use it on one of our enhancement talents during training, it is absolutely brutal!

Eddie prepares to lift but Falcon tries to fight out of it frantically with elbows to the side of the head. Eddie knees him in the stomach and prepares to lift again but Falcon contorts his body to make the process awkward before finally escaping Eddie’s clutches. Eddie stumbles away as Falcon waits.
 
Michaels: Falcon lifts for the BK BOMB but Eddie lands behind him on his feet! Falcon swings a wild backfist but Eddie ducks and shifts behind, he’s got his wrist!

Lillehammer: He spins him around and FALCON KILLER! That lariat beheaded the Hallowed Hitman! Eddie covers and hooks both legs high and tight!!!

Michaels: 1! 2! 3! THIS HELLACIOUS MATCH IS OVER![/I]

Speaker: Is Captain Falcon really dead? Wait, Eddie’s the Captain now? WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

Eddie B (4.60 APS + 1.5 Vote = 6.10 Total)
White Falcon (4.30 APS + 0.3 Vote = 4.60 Total)
Ken Ryans (0.00 APS + 0.1 Vote = 0.1 Total)[/I] 

“Sun Music” by Charles Hamilton abruptly starts at the chours as Eddie B rolls away, looking the direction of White Falcon who has rolled on his face, holding his head. Eddie wipes blood from his lip with a scowl on his face as the ref raises his hand. Eddie then leaves the ring and spouts off obscenities towards his detractors.
 
Lillehammer: Well there he is, the captain of the Pyromania main event team! Yet another strong performance for Eddie B., he’s done nothing but defeat the best Pyromania has had to offer, and how fitting was it for him to put the cherry on top with a move specifically designed to defeat one of the greatest to ever compete in LPW!

Michaels: Be that as it may, I’m a little concerned. Granted, Eddie’s on a form that no one can possibly surpass, and this was the best I’ve seen Falcon look in a while! But the man is NOT a team player and I don’t want Pyromania to lose because of Eddie’s penchant for “playing horribly with others”!

Lillehammer: Wait, Falcon’s got a microphone! This one may not be over!

Falcon grimaces as Eddie backpedals up the entrance way, bad mouthing people in general the whole way. Falcon then speaks as Eddie stops in his tracks.

Falcon: Whoa, whoa, Eddie. Just a second. I know we’ve never seen eye to eye, and probably never will. Still, I have to admit that despite my best effort, I came up a little short. So congratulations, captain.

The crowd offers a mixed reaction as Eddie storms back towards the ring, rolling into it.

Falcon: Hey, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like that you won either but the fact is, Pyromania would be hard pressed to find someone better to captain a team. Despite what people say about him, you’ve been nothing short of dominant since  returning. You’ve beaten the number one contender to the International Heavyweight Championship and have more than made statements at the expense of Pyromania’s top guys.

Eddie glares at Falcon and says, “What’s your point, man?”

Falcon: My point is, that while I may not like you, I can respect your ability and I don’t think you’ll be half-assing anything come Altered Reality. So, if you’ll have me, I’ll gladly fight alongside a fellow child of God.

The crowd cheers Falcon’s respectful gesture and extends his hand as Eddie studies the situation.

Michaels: Respectful words from a man worthy of respect, right there.

Lillehammer: I think it’s a trap. People from that boot-shaped atrocity cannot be trusted. Nevertheless, those two would be strong cogs to the Pyromania machine.

Falcon shrugs and leaves his hand out there. Eddie nods and turns away as Falcon looks at him as if to say “Really, Eddie?” Suddenly, Eddie turns towards Falcon and blasts him with Lowered Expectations as the crowd erupts, mostly in protest. Falcon slowly rolls out of the ring holding his jaw as Eddie picks up the microphone.

EB4: I’m going to make this short and sweet. I told Daniel I had no interest in captaining his team. He didn’t listen. I told his dumb ass that by putting me in this match, hoping you or Ken would beat me, was asking more than either of you could do. He didn’t listen. This is the first and last time I’m going to say this so you clowns listen close.

Michaels: What the hell! This is the team captain? We’re doomed to fail!

Lillehammer: He was right not to trust him, I say.

EB4: I refuse to fight for Pyromania, understand? I WILL NOT captain their team, and I’ll be damned if I do anything that is in the best interest of the third-world strain of herpes that’s facing Tromboner Man later on. I’m going to be at Altered Reality, nonetheless. And I will compete in the Main Event Elimination Tag Match BUT…

I FIGHT AGAINST LPW AS MY OWN DAMN ONE-MAN TEAM.[/i]

The crowd reacts loudly but has no idea what to make of it. “Sun Music” by Charles Hamilton hits as Eddie drops the mic and leaves while Falcon, who is now seated near the announce table, stares daggers into Eddie.

Michaels: How… did I hear him right? He’s going to compete against two teams of five by himself? And Pyromania’s will have some of the best talent in LPW to boot? How the hell is that even going to work?

Lillehammer: I know Eddie has proven to be most effective alone but… there’s no way this is a smart decision!

Michaels: Well after that stunt he pulled, he deserves what he gets! You’d have to assume now that White Falcon will be tasked with Captaining this team, and boy, with a third party to prepare for now, he’s got one hell of a task ahead of him!

[INDENT][/INDENT]

Backstage, the LPW International Heavyweight Champion Tromboner Man stands in his locker room. In the background, the grumble of the telecast can be heard on the TV. Walking up next to him is the LPW World Heavyweight Champion Morpheus. The pair look each other in the eye, sharing a rare serious moment between the pair.

Morpheus: You ready?

Tromboner Man: The Tromboner Man’s not getting any readier.

Morpheus: Then let’s begin phase one. Let’s make sure the greatest Martinez Cup Match in history happens.

Tromboner Man: By Arceus, TBM will make his half so.

Morpheus: See you in an hour, champ.

Tromboner Man nods confidently, before he walks straight out the door. Morpheus watches him leave, before returning to the TV to watch the match unfold.

Michaels: And Morpheus is right.

Lillehammer: Morpheus is never right.

Michaels: Well, there’s a first for everything. And in this case, the Insanity champion is right. In an hour, we WILL know who is the International Heavyweight Champion. 60 minutes of excruciating pain, blood, sweat, and probably in the case of our current champ, tears. And at the end of it, we will have a champion Pyromania can be proud of.

Lillehammer: I doubt I’ll be proud of either champ, considering Ken Ryans is not a competitor in this match, but I’ll be forced to live with the prospect.

Michaels: On one hand, we our challenger, cﾘnical. He rose up from an uprising, crusading against the Pyromania brand, only to defect on the eve of the Redemption Rumble. He turned around, and walked out victorious, earning him the right to challenge for the title tonight.

Lillehammer: Not only that, but he has taken over the brand. Seriously, pﾘromania fever is running wild all over Insanity, and cﾘnical believes he is the only man worthy of holding the International Heavyweight Championship. The General Manager of pﾘromania wants to lead from the front, set the example, and compete in his third Martinez Cup in a row, and take home back to back cups.

Michaels: And the other side of the equation, there’s the reigning champ, Tromboner Man. He won the championship in a rematch of the drawn One Way Ticket main event, the now infamous 6 Man TLC Match. Ken Ryans and Tromboner Man couldn’t be separated, and settled it at Pyromania 18.1, where TBM came out victorious. Since then, he’s turned back challenger after challenger.

Lillehammer: Including my Ken Ryans, the Mighty Dyno Might, Justus, and many more. And of course, you yourself Drew. Not always under the most… how do I put it gently? Uncontroversial seems like it won’t set you off tonight, but never the less, he’s here and he’s the champ running in.

Michaels: It’s going to be hell, these next 60 minutes. I think we’re ready. We’re about to find out who exactly will be representing out Pyromania at Altered Reality Six.


The crowd rise to their feet in anticipation of the main event. The raging horns which brought this reaction fizzle out to the rhythm section of “Mambo Swing” by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. With all of his usual excitement and energy, the LPW International Heavyweight Champion Tromboner Man dances out from backstage. Once on the stage, he points out over the crowd, as the stage is lit up by Pyrotechnics. As the smoke clears, TBM runs down the ramp, and slides into the ring, where Karl the Trombone sits. The music skips a couple of verses and choruses, as TBM breaks into a live trombone solo in the middle of the ring.

Speaker: …………………………………………. I can see the colors dude……………

Lillehammer: And Speaker is coked out of his mind again.

Michaels: Pretty sure he’s not. I went to a concert with him last week, he was stone cold sober, and was that blown away by the live music then too. I think he just gets entraced by real musicians playing real music. None of this “My instrument is auto-tune” or “I play the Mac Book” stuff.

Lillehammer: Well… I guess that’s a good point. Live music always trumps electronic stuff. And the Tromboner Man, I’m surprised he has the ability to focus on the sounds he’s making, when he’s stepping into the biggest match of his career.

Michaels: Music is a soothing thing, he could be doing this to calm his nerves.

Lillehammer: If he’s nervous, he’s not  showing it. I think this is full blown arrogance.

Tromboner Man finishes up with a roaring finale, as the music falls quiet over the arena. TBM hands Karl to a stage hand, who hurries off as an old school LPW theme begins to play. Some sections of the crowd start joining in with the retro theme, as “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour hits the speakers. The arena is washed in dark purple light. Slowly along the entrance ramp, in perfect time with the music, small flames slowly ignite, from the ring up to the stage. The flames go up the stage, and either side of the Pyro-tron, before converging in the center into one large flame. The flame seems to levitate off the top of the screen, and float down to the floor, where it explodes and fizzles out to show our challenger, cﾘnical, kneeling down on one knee, ready for battle. Slowly, he rises to his feet and starts walking powerfully down the ramp, with flames licking at his boots every time he takes a step.

Speaker: AHHHH!!!! THE COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michaels: Ok… maybe that’s not the music, but man, that’s one huge entrance. Perhaps a little over the top?

Lillehammer: Over the top? Hardly. Intimidating is closer to it. cﾘnical is the master of the mind games, and knows that once you head out here, and your opponent can see you, everything you do matters. Ever step, every action, every breath, it matters in getting a result. If this intimidating entrance has done it’s job, cﾘnical should come out with all the momentum.

Michaels: He is looking extremely confident, I’ll pay him that. He has been talking the talk for a very long time, saying he is the only man worthy of leading pﾘromania to defeat over Insanity. As a huge fan of seeing Insanity getting embarrassed, I really admire what he’s trying to do. Leading by example is a huge trait any real leader should have.

Lillehammer: Do you want to blow the man any more, or are you ready to buy him breakfast?

Michaels: Like this is any better than what you turn into around Ken Ryans.

Lillehammer: HEY!!! I made him. I MADE him. All bets are off around him.

cﾘnical stares TBM down, inches from his face, as the lighting in the arena returns to normal. TBM stands there and lets him, retaliating by raising the International Heavyweight Championship over his head. The referee reaches out, and takes the belt out of his hands, before separating the two in preparation for the Iron Man match.

Michaels: For those of you unfamiliar with the match, this is a 60 Minute Iron Man match. In this match, there are no count outs. There are no weapons. The only way to win is to accumulate a bigger score than your opponent.

Lillehammer: That’s true. Every time you score a pinfall, submission or knock out, you score 1 point. Every time you are disqualified, you concede one point to your opponent. This is just 60 minutes of pure wrestling at it’s finest. Or at a sub-par standard, considering the level of our competitors.

Michaels: The referee’s checked both men for weapons, and there’s the bell, 60 minutes are on the clock, and we’re under way HEY!!!

Lillehammer: cﾘnical’s made a beeline for the referee, he’s snatched the International Heavyweight Championship out of the hands of the referee. TBM’s rushing in, CHAMPIONSHIP TO THE SKULL BY CYNICAL!!!!!!

Michaels: The referee’s signalling for the bell!! cﾘnical is disqualified!!! 10 seconds in and we already have a fall!!!

Speaker: … Where’s the colors? I can’t see the colors any more…


Lillehammer: It’s not over yet. cﾘnical has thrown the championship out of the ring, and covers TBM. This… this could be genious.

Michaels: The referee’s hesitant to do it, but he’s down on the ground, 1…2…3!!!! 30 seconds in, and we’re already 1 fall a piece!!!

Speaker: … Is that red? cﾘnical, does that look like red to you?


Lillehammer: That’s… genious. cﾘnical, I tip my hat to you.

Michaels: He’s cost himself a fall, but could earn himself much, much more right now. He’s going for another pin, this will take him 2-1 up. 1…2… KICK OUT!!!

Lillehammer: Nothing but instinct, Tromboner Man is in fairy world at the moment. He’s got no idea where he is.

Michaels: cﾘnical hooking both legs this time, 1…2… KICK OUT again from the International Heavyweight Champion. He’s showing some heart when the chips are down.

Lillehammer: A great strategy, maybe it could have been pulled off better. He cost himself a pinfall, and in return got one back. If he’d gone with two head shots with the title, yes, that’s two disqualifications, but if one head shot caused TBM to lose his mind, 2 could have knocked him out for good, and given cﾘnical a very scary lead.

Michaels: It’s an attack I never saw coming. Tromboner Man never saw coming. cﾘnical is a bit frustrated, as he pins TBM again, he’s got  his forearm in his throat, 1…2… KICK OUT once more by Tromboner Man.

Lillehammer: This is all one way traffic. If you put money on cﾘnical to win, you’re probably very happy with your decision right about now. cﾘnical is up to his feet, and he’s stalking Tromboner Man. TBM’s struggling to get to his feet. This is not the look of a strong International Heavyweight Champion right here.

Michaels: TBM is to his knees, in runs cﾘnical, FACEBUSTER CONNECTS!!! RIGHT ACROSS THE KNEE OF CYNICAL!!!

Lillehammer: TBM is out! He’s busted open. We’re only minutes in, and he’s bleeding already.

Michaels: And cﾘnical isn’t taking advantage of this. He’s stepping back and heading straight for the turnbuckle. He’s… he’s removing the top turnbuckle in one of the corners. This is REALLY bad news for Tromboner Man.

Lillehammer: It’s exposed, cﾘnical’s returned to the fallen TBM, who still hasn’t moved. He tries another cover, 1…2… KICK OUT!! I don’t think cﾘnical expected the pin there, but it’s stirred TBM up, he’s moving again.

Michaels: It saves cﾘn’s energy in dragging him to his feet. TBM is back up to his knees, cﾘnical drags him across to the turnbuckle now. A few blows to the head for good measure, and… he’s forcing him up the turnbuckles.

Lillehammer: This is another surprise. But cﾘnical has shown he’s come prepared. TBM was calling for a more focused cﾘnical in their lead up, he’s definitely got what he wanted.

Michaels: No doubt. Both men are perched right on top of the corner. cﾘnical LIFTS TBM over his head. AMAZING STRENGTH AS HE LOOKS FOR THE NEGATIVE OUTLOOK!!!

Lillehammer: This is bad, cﾘnical OH NO!!!!!!!!

As cﾘnical goes to hit the Negative Outlook from the top rope, right onto the exposed turnbuckle, TBM finds something, swinging it around out of nowhere, and connecting with a top rope Spitvalve. The back of cﾘnical’s  head collides with the exposed turnbuckle, as both superstars crash to the ground.

Michaels: HOLY CRAP!!!! WHAT A COUNTER BY TROMBONER MAN!!!

Lillehammer: cﾘnical is now MOTIONLESS on the mat, Tromboner Man is rolling around in pain. WE’VE ONLY BEEN GOING 5 MINUTES.

Michaels: Yes, bu…

Lillehammer: TROMBONER MAN’S ONLY SCORED ONE HIT ON CYNICAL, AND THIS IS THE STATE HE’S IN!!!

Michaels: … Tromboner Man did hit his finisher on the exposed turnbuckle though. If he hadn’t have let go during the fall, it would have held for a pin fall. Instead, TBM has to crawl over to cﾘnical, he places his hand on cﾘnical’s chest, 1… NO!!! The Ref’s seen cﾘnical’s foot hanging on the ropes.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man pulls that away quickly, and pins him again. 1…2… KICK OUT by cﾘnical. Scores are still tied at one a piece.

Michaels: Another minute has gone, and Tromboner Man finally forces himself to his feet, for the first time looking to take some initiative out of cﾘnical. It’s been all one way traffic so far, and TBM will want to change that.

Lillehammer: Don’t change it. Keep it a one sided loss.

Michaels: Oh right, I forgot how you hated close, nail biting matches. TBM grabs cﾘnical by the hair and drags him to his feet, he rests him on the ropes and starts laying into him. The ref’s started a five count, but cﾘnical springs to life.

Lillehammer: He’s turned it around, but TBM’s used this, he bounces out, runs at the other side of the ring. On the rebound, cﾘnical sidesteps the  shoulderblock, but can’t escape the springboard shining wizard. A little ironic that a Shining Wizard has taken him down.

Michaels: Don’t try to be clever. cﾘnical in trouble now, as TBM drops his leg over his neck. Cover by the champ, 1…2… KICK OUT.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man back to his feet, his face still dripping blood, drops an  elbow into the chest of cﾘnical. He’s mounting him…

Michaels: Good thing this is PPV, because I’ve got some great innuendo for this!!!

Lillehammer: NO INNUDENO!!!

Michaels: In your endo…

Lillehammer: Classy… cﾘnical has counter the mount and punches, and flipped TBM over himself, headbutt from the General Manager. He’s starting to find a new wind.

Michaels: But Tromboner Man isn’t taking it lying down. Blocks a second headbutt with his forearm, and he throws cﾘnical off his body.

Lillehammer: This isn’t the high paced match up I was expecting, very powerful moves from both competitors. cﾘnical especially seems to know exactly what he’s in for.

Michaels: Both men back to their feet, and it’s cﾘnical who makes the first move, but TBM ducks the clothesline. cﾘnical turns around, and SLEEPER!! Tromboner Man has grabbed cﾘnical in a sleeper hold!

Lillehammer: Fifty minutes to go, cﾘnical in trouble. Tromboner Man just seems to wrench that sleeper hold tighter and tighter. He’s trying to fight out of it, elbow to the gut by cﾘnical. A second one, but it’s weaker. This is not a good sign up by cﾘnical.

Michaels: He’s stopped all together, the referee is trying to work out if he’s ok… AND HE RESPONDS BY DELIVERING A MASSIVE SIDE SUPLEX TO BREAK THE SUBMISSION.

Lillehammer: Clever ploy, he stopped to gather strength once he realised what he had. TBM left that wide open, a very Australian thing to do.

Michaels: Leave himself wide open for an attack? That’s not an Australian trait.

Lillehammer: But carelessness is. Haven’t you ever heard of “She’ll be right, mate”?

Michaels: I think you’re taking that analogy a little far. cﾘnical crawls over into a cover, 1…2… KICK OUT by Tromboner Man. We’re still tied at one a piece.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical is slow to get to his feet, but he gets there in the end. Tromboner Man struggling back to his. cﾘnical takes his chance, MASSIVE kick to the guts of the champion.

Michaels: cﾘnical drags him back up, and a second kick to the stomach, followed by a guillotine leg drop! Tromboner Man went plunging face first into the mat.

Lillehammer: He’s feeling it. Both TBM and cﾘnical. cﾘn knows he’s got the momentum, and TBM knows he’s in trouble. cﾘn quickly to the turnbuckles, he’s LEAPT up to the top.

Michaels: He’s going high risk. This could seal a couple of pinfalls for him right here, AS HE LAUNCHES WITH THE CYNTRIFICAL FORCE!!!

On the mat, Tromboner Man quickly rolls out of the way, causing cﾘnical to almost miss TBM completely with the high risk manouver. Unfortuntately for both men, as cﾘnical comes crashing down to the ground, both his and Tromboner Man’s heads meet in a sickening impact on the mat!

Lillehammer: OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Michaels: HEADCLASH!!! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN, AND NOT MOVING!!!

Lillehammer: They’ve both already sustained heavy knocks to the head. I wouldn’t be surprised to see that both men are completely unconscious.

Michaels: The referee’s checking on both men. They’ve both got that far away look in their eyes, this is not good.

Lillehammer: And rightfully so, the referee’s started a count. They need to answer the count of 10, at least one of them. I don’t know how these men can do it.

Michaels: Is it because they aren’t Ken Ryans?

Lillehammer: No, it’s because they just had a massive head clash. You DID see that, didn’t you? A headclash like that would even knock a Republican around.

Michaels: I think that’s the first time you’ve ever mentioned a Republican weakness Robert.

Lillehammer: HUMAN weakness, Andrew. The referee has reached a four count. Time is quickly ticking down. Five, and neither man has moved an inch.

Michaels: Tromboner Man’s foot is moving now, there’s six. He’s starting to move more of himself. He’s ok. cﾘnical is still lifeless. TBM doesn’t look like he’s going to get back to his feet though. Seven is the count.

Lillehammer: This is smart. He’s starting to crawl over to cﾘnical, he’s going to stop the knock out count with a pin fall. Ref calls 8, he’s almost there.

Michaels: Nine, AND TBM’S DONE IT, DRAPED AN ARM OVER CYNICAL’S CHEST!! THE REF JUMPS DOWN, 1…2… KICK OUT!!!!

Lillehammer: WHAT?! I…. I don’t believe it…

Michaels: You’d better start believing. TBM has stopped the double knock out by pinning a lifeless cﾘnical, who SOMEHOW managed to kick out. Pure instinct. We’re still locked at 1 all.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man dragging himself to his feet. Blood has just poured out all over his face. We actually have a trainer down here trying to clean him up a little. There’s still a long way to go. cﾘnical still is lying on the mat.

Michaels: Tromboner Man trying to shrug off the trainer, but she’s insisting she put the bandage on. TBM grabs the bandage and sticks it on his wound himself.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical finally starts to roll himself over. He’s in a very, VERY bad way. Tromboner Man knows this.

Michaels: Tromboner Man is watching him try to rise, here comes TROMBONER MAN INTONATION BUSTER CONNECTS!!!!

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man just TORE cﾘnical in half with that spear. He rolls over, covers cﾘnical, this is academic, 1…2… WHAT THE?!?!

Michaels: HE KICKED OUT!!!! CYNICAL KICKED OUT!!!

Lillehammer: But… how?

The crowd are on their feet, applauding the tenacity of the warriors, Tromboner Man sits up, almost beside himself, unable to fathom how cﾘnical kicked out of one of his most powerful moves.

Michaels: I don’t know. Tromboner Man doesn’t know. I think the only person who does know is the man who kicked out.

LILLEHAMMER: And like a true ass hat, he’s not going to share with us.

Michaels: If I was to guess, I think this is just a sign of how BADLY cﾘnical wants this. He wants to hold the International Heavyweight Championship, and lead his pﾘromania against Insanity more than ANYTHING in the world.  This just HAS to be a sign of how determined he is to make that happen.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man picking up the pieces and starting again. He tries to lift cﾘnical up, COUNTER, INSIDE CRADLE, 1…2…3!!!!

Michaels: NO!!! THE REFEREE’S SAYING NO!!!! TBM KICKED OUT!!!

Lillehammer: cﾘnical caught him by surprise, and SHOULD be going up 2-1. I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!

Michaels: Tromboner Man back to his feet, cﾘnical struggling himself. Tromboner Man keeping his distance this time, he doesn’t want to be embarrassed like that again.

Lillehammer: Twenty-five minutes gone, Tromboner Man waits for cﾘnical to stand. He grabs him by the arm, whips him across the ring, cﾘn counters into a whip of his own. TBM catches himself on the ropes.

Michaels: He’s suddenly gone very cautious. cﾘnical just stares him down. There’s blood starting to run from under TBM’s  bandage. Both men meet again in the center. TBM with a side headlock to cﾘnical, who just pushes him off and into a hammer lock.

Lillehammer: TBM breaks, and backs away. He’s seen just how unpredictable the experienced cﾘnical is. He’s surprised him a number of times already tonight.

Michaels: cﾘnical has seen this, and he keeps approaching TBM. He’s backing him into the corner.

Lillehammer: Not a place to be if you’re fighting a Wizard. Big elbow to the side of the head by cﾘnical, followed by a couple of driving knees.

Michaels: he grabs Tromboner Man by the arm, and WHIPS him across the RING, CHEST FIRST INTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE!!!

Lillehammer: It’s knocked the wind out of Tromboner Man. He is hurting. cﾘnical is circling his opponent, TBM is down on one knee, ENZIGURI CONNECTS!!!

Michaels: Quick cover, 1…2… KICK OUT by Tromboner Man. I was sure he’d be taken out there and then.

Lillehammer: Yeah, well… he wasn’t! cﾘnical needs to find a new plan of attack here.

Michaels: Tromboner Man is forcing his way to a vertical playing field. cﾘnical is letting him, he’s not going to waste what precious little energy he has to bring him to his feet.

Lillehammer: TBM turns around, cﾘnical picks him UP CYNAPLEX!!!!

Michaels: WHAT A MOVE!!! WHAT AN EXCLAMATION POINT, THAT SHOULD KEEP TROMBONER MAN DOWN.

Lillehammer: Cover by cﾘnical, 1…2… I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!

Tromboner Man somehow manages to kick out of the pin, much to the frustration of cﾘnical. He quickly turns to the referee and starts arguing the point, as the crowd roar in excitement.

Michaels: That’s PURE frustration here from cﾘnical. Tromboner Man SOMEHOW found the will to kick out of the pin.

Lillehammer: It was SLOW!

Michaels: No it wasn’t, but cﾘnical is adamant it was. He continues to argue the point with the referee. Meanwhile, the champion continues to lay on his side on the mat. He hasn’t moved.

Lillehammer: The argument finally comes to a stop, but cﾘnical continues to throw a couple of words at the referee. He’s turned his attention back to the task at hand. He’s got Tromboner Man on the ground.

Michaels: He goes to move him, COUNTER INTO AN INSIDE CRADLE….

Lillehammer: CYNICAL ROLLS IT THROUGH, HE’S GOT THE MANIC DEPRESSION LOCKED IN, ON THE GROUND!!!

Michaels: Utterly amazing. He countered the counter, into a submission, and now Tromboner Man is in a whole world of hurt, on more than one level.

Lillehammer: The clock continues to tick down, we’re officially half way through. 30 minutes down, and we’re still locked at 1 all.

[INDENT][/INDENT]

Michaels: cﾘnical continues to wrench the Manic Depression in tighter and tighter. No forgiveness for Tromboner Man here, who struggles valiantly against the hold.

Lillehammer: It’s a rare feat indeed to see this hold not end a match. Submission is a smart way to go. It’s going to sap TBM of his energy, while cﾘnical gets to sustain his.

Michaels: Tromboner Man fights on, he’s trying to force cﾘnical’s arms out from his neck, but he’s having no luck at all. He’s starting to fade.

Lillehammer: This is starting to look vaguely familiar to the last date night for myself and Ms Lillehammer.

Michaels: Gross. Did we really need to know she gets turned on by choking?

Lillehammer: Well, we didn’t know I did, and we wouldn’t have known unless we tried.

Michaels: Dominatrix..

Lillehammer: She is, you should see her work her magic.

Michaels: Contain your rager Robert! Now is not the time or place to have one of them.

Lillehammer: You’re only too right, that’s why I’m looking forward to getting home, cﾘnical’s given me some ideas. HURRY UP CLOCK, YOU’RE MOVING TOO SLOW!!!

Michaels: With that out in the open… Tromboner Man is fading fast. He’s refusing to submit though, no matter how hard cﾘnical pulls, how much air he chokes out of him…

Lillehammer: hmmm….

Michaels: ROBERT!!! STOP TAKING NOTES!!!

Lillehammer: You’re right, having her mimic the tape would be far more effective.

Michaels: …Tromboner Man has almost come to a complete stop. The referee’s right there, he’s trying to get a verbal response out of TBM, but he’s getting none.

Lillehammer: This could be a big opening for cﾘnical. Perhaps TBM should have submitted. If he’s passed out, cﾘnical gets the point for the submission, and has open slather to pin him.

Michaels: The arm is raised, and it flops to the mat. That’s one. Three drops, and cﾘnical earns the point. The referee raises the arm again… THAT’S TWO!!!

Lillehammer: cﾘnical pulls it harder for good measure, he’s leaving nothing up to chance with this. The referee raises the arm again… AND IT STAYS UP!!!

Michaels: Tromboner Man is still conscious, but he’s not in a good way. He flails about…

As Tromboner Man flails his limbs, he receives a lucky break, with his arm collecting with cﾘnical’s nether region. Almost instantly, cﾘnical relaxes on the hold, as he tries to contain the searing pain in his crotch.

Lillehammer: OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Michaels: THAT’S THE MOST UNORTHODOX COUNTER I’VE SEEN SINCE… well… D. Hammond Samuels wrestled I guess.

Lillehammer: Unorthodox? Try unsporting.  That should be a disqualification right there!

Michaels: The referee saw it all, but he’s not doing anything. A low blow like that is illegal, but only if it’s intentional. There is no way that was an intentional crotch shot.

Lillehammer: Such a democrat thing to say. PUNISH THE NO GOOD HETHEN!!!

Michaels: Tromboner Man starting to get his breath back, as cﾘnical still struggles on the mat. We’re 37 minutes down in this epic, 23 minutes to go, and STILL the score is tied at 1 all. This hasn’t changed since the 30 second mark of the match.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man, using the ropes to drag himself to his feet, cﾘnical is making his way back himself. Look at his eyes, he is FURIOUS!

Michaels: Can you really blame him?

Lillehammer: Not really. He’s a kinky guy, but even he doesn’t like a guy manhandle…

Michaels: NO!!! You won’t do innuendo. If I can’t do it, you can’t do it either.

Lillehammer: Fine. cﾘnical charges at TBM, full speed, but TBM counters into a flapjack.

Michaels: A famous move for TBM, that flap jack. What he wouldn’t give to have RaTo come through and finish it off.

Lillehammer: The MWA are no more, we won’t see That’s Madcore again Drew.

Michaels: Good! MWA scumbags…

Lillehammer: But TBM is making do, he’s still struggling from that submission cﾘnical held him in. cﾘnical forcing himself back to his feet. TBM turns around, big right hand to the face of cﾘnical.

Michaels: cﾘnical fires back with one of his own, it’s knocked the bandage off TBM’s head. Such power.

Lillehammer: More like accuracy, it wasn’t on very strongly to begin with.

Michaels: SHUT UP, I’m trying to be dramatic you fool.

Lillehammer: Be truthful instead. Try talking about how cﾘnical has just kicked TBM in the midsection, and TBM retaliated with a spinebuster.

Michaels: Cover by TBM, 1…2 KICK OUT. TBM doesn’t let up however, he’s grabbed the arm of cﾘnical, and looks for an arm bar.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical obviously doesn’t like that idea, counters into a roll up, 1…2… KICK OUT by Tromboner Man. He’s forced to let go of the arm.

Michaels: Both men back to their feet, in runs cﾘnical, but TBM takes him down with a drop toe hold.

Lillehammer: TBM back to his feet, and runs at the ropes, on the rebound, THE SLIDE!!!

Michaels: cﾘnical is in trouble, cover by TBM, 1…2… KICK OUT!!! That’s was excruciatingly close to being a pinfall.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man sees another option. He sits cﾘnical up, goes behind, AND LOCKS IN THE CON SORD!!!

Michaels: Nobdoy has ever broken this hold Robert. This is a BAD sign for cﾘnical, but he’s trying to fight. TBM’s got the grapevine locked in tight, he’s in complete control.

Lillehammer: So, how is he doing this? It looks to me like he’s getting all the power out of his legs, not out of his arms.

Michaels: Are you taking more perverted notes?

Lillehammer: Oh come on Andrew. This is a good chance for me to improve. HEY!!!

At the desk, Drew Michaels reaches across and rips Robert Lillehammer’s notes up, before tossing them behind him into the crowd, to the shock of Lillehammer himself.

Lillehammer: What in God’s name do you think you’re doing Andrew?

Michaels: Keeping you to the standard you keep me to. If I can’t make sexy jokes that everybody loves, you can’t take sexy queer notes to try with your wife that nobody ever wants to imagine.

Lillehammer: Correction Andrew, nobody loves your jokes, and at least my  doings were contained to the privacy of my home.

Michaels: And comments live to air on Pay-Per-View. But hey, you’re never one for the fine print, are you?

Lillehammer: You’re an evil man. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you’re an evil, evil man.

Michaels: Believe what you want. cﾘnical’s doing just that. Believing what he wants, and he believes he isn’t going to submit. He’s trying to fight out of this, reaching behind himself and giving TBM a number of blows to the head.

Lillehammer: TBM is holding strong. There’s no chance of cﾘnical providing the same miraculous counter that TBM had, his crotch is out of harms way. cﾘnical needs to think of something fast.

Michaels: The odds are against him Robert. This move has ended a match every time TBM has used it.

Lillehammer: I don’t think cﾘnical cares about the odds. He’s in immense pain, and still continues to fight. He’s trying to force TBM’s arms apart from behind his head. And… and he’s succeeding…

Michaels: I don’t believe this, cﾘnical is actually forcing TBM’s arms apart. He thrusts his head back, reverse headbutt to the face of TBM, and a second! HE’S OUT!!! CYNICAL IS THE FIRST PERSON TO BREAK THE CON SORD!!

Lillehammer: And he’s picked a perfect moment to pull it off. TBM’s stunned as he tries to force himself up. We’ve got 15 minutes to go, and cﾘnical has turned the tide yet again.

Michaels: European upped cut to TBM, it knocks TBM backwards, but he stays vertical. cﾘnical runs in, HURRICANRANA CONNECTS!!! He runs at the ropes, SPRINGBOARD SPLASH TO TBM CONNECTS.

Lillehammer: Cover by cﾘnical, 1…2… KICKOUT!!! The momentum has switched, there’s no doubt about it.

Michaels: cﾘnical drags TBM over to the corner, the exposed turnbuckle is just sitting there. TBM is in real trouble. cﾘncial lifts him up, he’s got him in position, SUPLEX CONNECTS, RIGHT ONTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE!!!

Lillehammer: Clever thinking from the General Manager, TBM is writhing in pain on the mat, he’s definitely felt that, there is no doubting it. Cover by cﾘnical, 1…2… ROPE GRAB!!! That… not so clever from the General Manager.

Michaels: He had  both of TBM’s arms pinned to his body, give him a break Robert. That was just pure strength from TBM to break the grip and grab the rope. If cﾘnical had of wasted time in pulling TBM away from the ropes, it could have caused a kick out.

Lillehammer: We’ll never know now, will we?

Michaels: cﾘnical takes a step back, TBM is using the ropes to get to his feet. In runs cﾘnical, BIG BOOT NO!!! TBM DUCKS, and cﾘnical crashes over the ropes to the outside.

Lillehammer: There’s no count out so cﾘnical is in no danger of giving up a fall if he stays out there. TBM is in a world of hurt in the ring, cﾘnical is hurting himself. He looks like he’s going to stay out there himself for a while.

Michaels: TBM doesn’t look like he wants that, he leaps AND TAKES CYNICAL OUT WITH A CROSS BODY!!! A GUTSY EFFORT MOVE FROM THE CHAMPION!!

Lillehammer: He’s the first to start to rise. He starts pulling cﾘnical back to his feet himself, and throws him back into the ring.

Michaels: TBM rolls back in himself. Elbow drop to the face of cﾘnical. Cover by the champion, 1…2… KICK OUT by cﾘnical.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical tries forcing himself to his feet, but TBM’s already there. Kick to the gut by TBM, he leads cﾘnical to the corner, and THROWS his head into the exposed turnbuckle. cﾘnical’s FINALLY been busted open.

Michaels: Look at the blood starting to stream down cﾘnical’s face. He rolls out of the ring. TBM leans over the ropes to try and grab him, BUT CYNICAL HANGS HIM UP ON THE TOP ROPE!!!

Lillehammer: Very smart, very very smart. cﾘnical’s very shaky on his feet, but still finds a way to arrest the initiative. He’s hunting under the ring, could he be looking to do exactly the same thing he did at the start of the match?

Michaels: He could be. Now would be the perfect time to do it. We’re at the 50 minute mark of this match, we have 10 minutes to go. Scores have been tied at one a piece for over 49 minutes.

Lillehammer: He’s found something he wants to use, he’s dragging out a ladder. Tromboner Man’s starting to force himself up to his feet in the ring. cﾘnical drops the ladder on the outside, and runs into the ring.

Michaels: Tromboner Man’s in trouble as cﾘnical grabs him by the shoulder, and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! He grabs the rope, and NARROWLY avoids disaster in landing on the ladder. cﾘnical comes in, and a MASSIVE buzz saw kick to the back of TBM, and he drop to the ground in pain.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical follows him out of the ring. TBM’s trying to get to his feet, cﾘnical NAILS him with a face buster across his knee.

Michaels: Tromboner Man refuses to go down, he’s still on his knees. Punch to the midsection of cﾘnical, followed by a jaw breaker! cﾘnical’s been rattled. TBM pushes him back into the ring. He’s making it clear he doesn’t want to do this on the outside.

Lillehammer: And don’t pretend cﾘnical hasn’t noticed that. TBM is extremely well versed in Madcore wrestling. He is one of the creators of the Madcore style.

Michaels: God damn Madcores…

Lillehammer: Creative use of the outside and weapons, that’s what it’s all about, but it will give TBM a LOT of disqualifications. He knows that, and I don’t think he’s prepared to give up falls in order to gain them.

Michaels: cﾘncial back to his feet, in comes Tromboner Man, looking for a clothesline, BUT CYNICAL COUNTERS, NEGATIVE OUTLOOK OUT OF NOWHERE TO TROMBONER MAN!!! THAT’S THE OPENING HE NEEDED!!!

Lillehammer: COVER BY CYNICAL, 1…2…OH MY GOD!!!

Michaels: TBM KICKED OUT!!! HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS… WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Lillehammer: cﾘnical can’t believe it, I can’t believe it. The entire crowd is stunned. HOW did Tromboner Man kick out of the Negative Outlook? NOBODY saw it coming.

Michaels: Even on the replay, you can see cﾘnical has hit that with pin point accuracy. TBM just… SOMEHOW found a way to kick out.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical kicks TBM to the outside, under the rope. TBM lands next to the ladder with a heavy fall. He’s almost lifeless. cﾘnical himself is exhausted. 6 minutes remain, you almost feel like the next pinfall will secure this for cﾘnical.

Michaels: Or Tromboner Man.

Lillehammer: He’s not going to win. cﾘnical will, I guarantee it. cﾘnical has gone for the ladder, and sets it up right in front of us. That’s one tall ladder, it must have been left under there for the No Holds Barred match between Watson and Azreal.

Michaels: And now, cﾘnical’s using it to his advantage. He wants to put TBM away with something spectacular. He knows he needs something big to put him down. He goes over to Tromboner Man.

Lillehammer: TBM is almost back to his feet, but he looks really shaky. cﾘnical leads him to out announce table. TBM is completely unaware of where he is. Kick to the mid section, cﾘnical LOOKING FOR THE CYNABURST ON THE TABLE, NO!!! TBM SOMEHOW FOUND A WAY TO COUNTER IT INTO A FACEPLANT!!!

Michaels: cﾘnical struggling, TBM in a similar state. 4 minutes, 30 seconds to go, this is still anyone’s match. It’s been fifty five minutes since the last decision, TBM is back to his feet first, cﾘnical struggling to his knees SPITVALVE CONNECTS!!!!

Lillehammer: HE’S HELD IT FOR A PIN THIS TIME, 1…2… KICK OUT!!! HOLY HELL!!! HOW THE HELL ARE THESE TWO KICKING OUT STILL?!?!

Michaels: I HAVE NO IDEA!! TBM has no idea either. Time is against him, he knows it. He’s seen where he is. He refuses to mope about this, he’s back to his feet as quick as he can. He lifts cﾘnical up, and SLAMS him onto our announce table with a sidewalk slam.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man looks at the body of cﾘnical, and starts to head for the ladder. He could be reverting to his Madcore ways here as he grabs it… but instead climbs. HE’S GOING HIGH RISK!!!

Michaels: 3 minutes 15 on the clock, he’s struggling to the top. cﾘnical WRITHING in pain our announce desk. This is extremely dangerous…

Lillehammer: Stop pointing out the bleeding obvious Drew. Tromboner Man is at the TOP RU…MOVE!!!!!!

Drew and Robert throw down their head sets and scatter as quickly as they can, as Tromboner Man launches himself off the top rope with a shooting star press, connecting with cﾘnical and shattering the table in the process. The referee rushes over to them as Drew and Robert cautious make their way back to their headsets, picking them precariously out of the rubble.

Michaels: …

Lillehammer: OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A SUICIDAL MOVE BY TROMBONER MAN!!! HE HAS DESTROYED OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE, ALMOST KILLED CYNICAL, AND IN THE PROCESS, TAKEN HIMSELF OUT!!!

Michaels: …

Lillehammer: And as an added bonus, destroyed Drew’s microphone. We’ve got 2 minutes 30 to go, and the referee’s checked on both men. They’re breathing, but not moving. We have trainers running down from the back. If either man could roll over and pin the other, this would surely be over.

Michaels: Test… test test…

Lillehammer: I guess good things can’t last forever.

Michaels: I’m back! Awesome. That was either one of the stupidest, or one of the best moves I’ve ever seen. I’m yet to make my mind up. Either way, the Referee’s been forced to start a knock out count. The clock is ticking down.

Lillehammer: One minute fifty, and the referee’s up to 2. Neither cﾘnical, nor Tromboner Man even look like rolling over, let alone standing up.

Michaels: There’s no question that they have left nothing in the tank tonight. It’s admirable, that’s for sure. Referee’s up to four, 1:25 left.

Lillehammer: TBM’s eyes are open, but they’re not focused. cﾘnical’s eyes are exactly the same. Trainers are holding back, but they’re right here for when time expires.

Michaels: There’s the six call, there’s 55 seconds. Still no movement. Seven is called by the referee. Can either Tromboner Man or cﾘnical do something here? We saw TBM stop the call earlier by rolling over to pin cﾘnical, but there’s been NO movement at all.

Lillehammer: That’s the 9 call. 20 seconds to go in the match, we’re looking at a double knock out… 10!!! It’s official, DOUBLE KNOCK OUT!!!

Speaker: SEVEN!!! SIX!!! FIVE!!!!


Michaels: The clock runs down…  AND THAT’S THE BUZZER!!!

Lillehammer: After sixty minutes… we’re left with a two all scoreline…

Trainers rush in to the wreckage that once was the announce table, and immediately start tending to both Tromboner Man and cﾘnical. At the same time “Power” by Kanye West hits the speakers. As the crowd hold their breath in anticipation, the LPW CEO Damion Kross wastes no time in hurrying out to the wreckage to inspect the wounded men.

Michaels: The CEO is out here. There’s a state of confusion in the air, nobody seems to know what to do. Technically, this is a drawn match, but what that means, and the state of both men remains to be seen.

Lillehammer: The trainers have TBM up on his feet, and they’re dragging him to a seat. He’s awake, and starting to move, this is a good sign for him.

Michaels: The trainers pull cﾘnical from the rubble now. Kross is asking questions of the trainers…

Lillehammer: cﾘnical’s awake and moving now too, a good sign for him. Both men are extremely ginger though. Kross seems to know what he wants to know, he’s grabbed a microphone.

Damion Kross walks up the steel steps and into the ring, as trainers continue to work on patching up cﾘnical and Tromboner Man. He brings the microphone up to his mouth and begins to speak.

Kross: Ladies and Gentlemen, after a tremendous showing by both men, we have a drawn result after sixty minutes. Technically, and traditionally, this would mean that in a drawn result, the champion would retain. That that case, that means Tromboner Man continues to hold the International Heavyweight Championship.

Michaels: He’s not lying there. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had an International Heavyweight Championship end in a draw.

Kross: HOWEVER, this is the eve of Altered Reality Six. And I’m a smart enough man to realise that while Daniel here has been a constant pain in my life as of recent, if I were to deny him the chance to win because of a technicality, he would not let me forget about it. So, with that in mind, and my desire to find an undisputed International Heavyweight Champion to compete in the Martinez Cup, I’m declaring that the match will go into overtime, with the next fall to win!!!

[INDENT][/INDENT]

Michaels: OVERTIME!!

Lillehammer: You heard exactly what I heard then, we’re going into overtime. No time limit, you can consider this your traditional first fall to a finish match.

Michaels: The referee’s checking on both men in the hands of the trainers. cﾘnical stands up and is heading to the ring, Tromboner Man’s doing the same. This is on!

Lillehammer: They’re back in the ring, Kross has exited and is standing ringside to watch. The ref gives the OK, and we’re back under way. Both men are VERY sore, and exhausted. They’re slow to move into the center, but they lock up. cﾘnical takes advantage first, moving into a side headlock. TBM counters with a side suplex.

Michaels: Cover by TBM, 1…2.. KICK OUT!!! It wasn’t the most energetic, but cﾘnical still managed to get the shoulder up.

Lillehammer: That he did, TBM covers again, 1… KICK OUT. He’s just sapping the energy of the General Manager with every pin he does. It doesn’t matter if it gets the win at this point, every pin is as effective as a strong move.

Michaels: Tromboner Man tries for the hat trick, cﾘnical counters with a closed fist to the jaw. He rolls out of the way as TBM comes back with an elbow drop.

Lillehammer: Elbow on mat, it hurts TBM, as cﾘnical gets to his feet. TBM is not far behind him. cﾘnical grabs the arm of TBM and WHIPS him into the exposed turnbuckle.

Michaels: TBM catches himself though, in runs cﾘnical, SHOULDER CHARGE into the back, and forced TBM’s chest into the exposed metal. TBM collapses to the ground, cﾘnical covers, 1…2… KICK OUT.

Lillehammer: And again from cﾘnical, same strategy as TBM, and it gets the same result. Another kick out.

Michaels: High stakes overtime. cﾘnical is starting to take the advantage now. He’s back to his feet, and waits for Tromboner Man to get up.

Lillehammer: He’s back to his feet, in runs cﾘnical, Leg Lariat MISSES, BUT TAKES OUT THE REFEREE!!!

Michaels: Tromboner Man ducked, and instead of taking out his opponent, cﾘnical has DECAPITATED the referee.

Lillehammer: cﾘnical looks down at the ref and just laughs, he finds it funny. He turns around SIDESTEPS THE INTONATION BUSTER! TROMBONER MAN JUST WENT FOR THE BIG TIME MOVE THERE.

Michaels: He catches himself on the ropes, cﾘnical’s right there behind him, ROLL UP!!!

Lillehammer: TROMBONER MAN ROLLS IT THROUGH HIMSELF!!!  CYNICAL ROLLS THROUGH AGAIN!!!

Michaels: DAMION KROSS IS INTO THE RING, HE’S TAKEN OVER FROM THE REFEREE, BOTH SETS OF SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!!!

Lillehammer: HE STARTS THE COUNT, 1…2…3!!!! HE’S CALLING FOR THE BELL!!!!

Michaels: But… who won? Who scored the pinfall?

P.A. Speaker just looks on, enthralled as both Tromboner Man and cﾘnical release. Kross leans over and calls for a microphone.

Kross: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, International Heavyweight Champion, and representative for Pyromania in the Martinez Cup… TROMBONER MAN


Tromboner Man (4.63 APS + 1.4 Vote = 6.03 APS)
cﾘnical (4.58 APS + 0.5 Vote = 5.08 Total)[/i]

Michaels: Tromboner Man has done it! He’s held off cﾘnical in an EPIC of a match. Over 60 minutes of action, both men put it all on the line, and it came down to a humble roll up.

Lillehammer: Looking at the replay, you can clearly see both men had their shoulders down. However, Tromboner Man got his left shoulder up in time, cancelling himself out, and keeping cﾘnical’s down in the process.

Michaels: cﾘnical’s just seen it on the Pyrotron, he’s shaking his head. He is UTTERLY furious. Damion Kross has TBM up on his feet, and has handed him the International Heavyweight Championship. He’s going to Altered Reality Six, and will compete in the main event. Who he faces for the Martinez Cup, we will know once Ragnarok goes to air.

Lillehammer: I’m not his biggest fan Andrew.

Michaels: Really? I NEVER would have guessed that.

Lillehammer: I know. I’m a pretty impartial commentator. But, I pay credit when credit is due. It doesn’t matter who the World Heavyweight Champion is. Whether it’s still Morpheus, or Ultramarcus, or Azreal, Big B. Brown, Nigel Vanderbilt or even Krimson Mask. They’ve got the strongest candidate Pyromania could produce. Tonight, Tromboner Man proved that.

Michaels: He certainly fought a very gutsy battle, and is worthy of the title he continues to hold.

Tromboner Man embraces Kross exhausted, almost unable to contain his emotions. He breaks the hug as Kross shakes his hand. TBM accepts it, before Kross hands him the microphone.

Tromboner Man: Wow… holy bleep wow… The Tromboner Man never thought he’d actually do it…

Kross leans over the rope and calls for another microphone as the crowd goes absolutely crazy.

Tromboner Man: The Tromboner Man… he’s competing in the Martinez Cup!!! He did it Morpheus!!! He held up his end of the bargain!

Kross: Benjamin, congratulations.

Tromboner Man: Thanks Krossy! Oh man… and cﾘnical, thank you. That was… well… that was something TBM doesn’t ever want to have to go through again. You’re amazing! It could have just as easily been you dude.

cﾘnical ignores TBM’s thanks and compliments, with the words almost cutting him deeply. TBM doesn’t notice this, as he continues to speak.

Tromboner Man: And Pyromania… to Pyromania… ahh bleep it all. Every one of you Pyromaniacs, get yourselves out here!!!

“Rock of Ages” by Def Leppard hits the speakers. Slowly and surely, the locker room begins to empty out into the arena, being lead by White Falcon. Not far behind him is the LPW Pure Champion, Daniel Purser, followed by The Mighty Dyno Might, Seth Omega, Zenith, Cripsy, Styxx and Dick Dynamo. More and more superstars continue to come out from backstage, and start making their way down to the ring.

Michaels: Here comes the locker room. Tromboner Man’s called for them, and they’ve come. What a sign of respect for the man.

Lillehammer: We’re missing three key players though. Jeff Watson and Ryans James haven’t shown, but I think that’s self explanatory, considering the revelation earlier tonight. And Ken Ryans still hasn’t recovered from James’ cowardly attack which cost him the Pyromania captaincy.

Michaels: True, but every other man is out here. Our new Western States Heritage Champion, Xander Kross is out here, despite his leg injury. Christian Parkes as well, although he’s keeping his distance from the rest of the group. Mr. Golden as well. Pyromania’s certainly got a lot of depth out here.

Tromboner Man: Guys, guys… this is purely awesome. TBM hopes it’ll be as awesome, and even more effective than the last time he saw an International Heavyweight Champion do this.

Lillehammer: When was the last time an International Heavyweight Champion did this?

Michaels: Well, the entire roster came out to congratulate me when I defeated D. Hammond Samuels for the Interna…

Lillehammer: So again this is something about you.

Tromboner Man: A loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, when TBM was a real joobie rookie here in LPW, he saw this happen. It’s the only time he’s ever seen this happen. It was the One Way Ticket Pay-Per-View, way back in 2006, very close to 6 years ago in fact. 

Michaels: He’s not talking about me.

Lillehammer: No, I don’t think he is.

Tromboner Man: Back then, Pyro had this rad International Heavyweight Champion, Jaro was his name-o!!! He was all like “Bang bang, POW!!! I bang bang POWED your wife!”, and people like Robb Larsen were all like “NOOOOOOOO!!!”, and Son of Repoman disapproved. cﾘnical remembers Jaro, don’t you cﾘn?

cﾘnical still hasn’t stood up from the mat, sitting with his head in his hands. He looks up from his palms to stare a dagger right through the heart of Tromboner Man.

Tromboner Man: Ohh… you remember him. TBM knows what that look means. AAAAANYWAY, the Tromboner Man had only just joined LPW, and Jaro got the roster down to the ring, and tried to call the Pyromania roster together. Make them strong before Altered Reality 3. Then he got fired because he put his finger in another pie. TBM doesn’t know, people thought he was an idiot back then, and they used pies to explain a lot of things to him when he was a rookie.

Michaels: You might think that’s a lie, but that’s actually true. When I first joined Pyromania, I had to explain how the catering table worked to Tromboner Man, using pies and pasties.

Lillehammer: Thrilling.

Tromboner Man: You see, what Jaro saw in the lead up to Altered Reality Three was hope. He saw a chance for change, and a chance to make a difference. It was the first time the Tromboner Man saw him talk passionately about anything other than his bleep. It really made the Tromboner Man think… this guy… this sex obsessed guy. He really cares. He cares about you, he cares about the Tromboner Man. But above all, he cares about the Pyromania brand, name and all it stands for.

The crowd start to applaud, as TBM stops to take a breath. Politely, TBM waits for them to die down before starting up again.

Tromboner Man: That day. That moment, that very instant, TBM stood there, as green as any rookie, and said to himself “You know what? I am going to be there one day. One day, I will lead Pyromania against Schizophrenia. One day, it will be ME leading from the front, and putting it all on the line for everyone”. It’s taken six years, a lot of blood, sweat, tears and laughter, but the Tromboner Man… he’s… I’M here.

Michaels: This is a different Tromboner Man… I remember this Tromboner Man. This is the one who looked to extract revenge on me. For what I did to him.

Tromboner Man: Today, TBM stands here, not telling you to support him, not asking you to blindly follow him, but asking you to support the person next to you. To support all the people who have paid to either be here, or watch this on Pay-Per-View, or who are unable to watch this live for whatever reason, but will be keenly following the results. Because those are the people you’re fighting for. Your friends. Your enemies. Your fans.

Lillehammer: And there are certainly some very public enemies within the Pyromania roster at the moment.

Tromboner Man: TBM sees almost exactly the same thing with Pyromania as what Jaro saw at One Way Ticket before Altered Reality 3. A young roster, with next to no experience outside of the marquee matches. A roster that’s hungry, and have one thing on their mind. Victory. And what better way of sticking it up those Insanity BLEEPHOLES than by sweeping them, ending in not Tromboner Man, but Pyromania, holding the Martinez Cup, and the flagship brand title high.

The crowd applaud, with much of the roster joining in. Much of the young members of the roster, such as Sixx King and Dazz Andrews, who are only new to the rivalry between LPW’s brands, seem to stand up and take notice of what TBM has said as he continues.

Tromboner Man: BUT, the Trombone Man also has a problem. And as much as he would love to get into the battle with all of you, and fight against our Insane foe, there is a man out here who loves Pyromania more than TBM does. And if he’s going to lead the brand, he’ll need his permission.

Tromboner Man turns back to cﾘnical, who still hasn’t returned to his feet, and extends a hand to him, offering to help him up.

Tromboner Man: cﾘnical… Tromboner Man’s…MY idol. Will you allow the Tromboner Man the distinct pleasure of leading Pyro… pﾘromania at Altered Reality Six?

cﾘnical sits on the floor, ignoring TBM’s hand as Damion Kross and the rest of Pyromania looks on. Eventually, cﾘnical starts to rise to his feet without the aid of the International Champion, before taking his microphone out of his hand.

cﾘnical: Ben.. you might be the International Heavyweight Champion, but that’s only because a certain individual decided to insert himself where he wasn’t welcome.

Kross: Are you talking about me?

cﾘnical: You had no right to come in and count the pinfall, Damion. No right at all. The referee’s job is to do that. If the match official was not able to do his duty, it shouldn’t have been done until he was able to.

Kross: It’s actually my duty to perform something like that. The most senior official has the power and the duty to officiate where it is required. It was required right here tonight. By the letter of the law Daniel, you have been defeated, fair and square. Now, I believe our International Heavyweight Champion asked you a question.

Kross utter the words “International Heavyweight Champion” cut cﾘnical deep. He stares Kross down, as he raises the microphone back to his mouth.

cﾘnical: Benjamin, I can’t stop you from competing in the Martinez Cup match. And while I know I’m still the best man for the job, you proved to me that what you produce far exceeds anything the World Heavyweight Champion can, regardless of whom it is.

Kross: That wasn’t the question you were asked, Daniel. Benjamin asked if you would allow him to lead Pyromania at Altered Reality Six.

cﾘnical: I know what he asked. But the job of a leader should fall to someone in a leadership position.

Kross: And the position of International Heavyweight Champion is not a leadership position?

cﾘnical: It’s possibly the greatest leadership position pﾘromania has. But, I still see my role as the man to lead pﾘromania at Altered Reality Six. I will coach, I will mentor, and I will inspire.

Kross: Or, you could fight.

cﾘnical: How? I refuse to rob someone of their chance to represent pﾘromania. Every man out here tonight has proven themselves worthy of representing it’s name and legacy.

Kross: You could fight me.

cﾘnical: Fight you?

Kross: You’re harbouring deep frustrations towards me, and Lord knows you’ve been a massive problem for me, and my investments. If you want to lead Pyromania, you’re in no position to do so. You know that as well as I do. In your current state, you’re much more valuable as a soldier of Pyromania than you are as a General. So give your brand an added boost, and open the possibilities. There’s much more a match with me has to offer than a simple point on the scoreboard.

cﾘnical continues to stare Kross down, not giving an inch. Kross smirks as he raises the microphone to his lips one more time.

Kross: And to sweeten the deal, I’ll represent Insanity.

cﾘnical’s death stare continues, before a smirk begins to crack over his face. Finally he turns back to Tromboner Man, and says one final piece.

cﾘnical: Tromboner Man, I give you permission to lead pﾘromania against Insanity. You have my full support, and I’ll show it by giving Damion Kross the worst defeat of his life!!!

cﾘnical shoves the microphone back into Tromboner Man’s chest with authority. Tromboner Man takes it, and goes to embrace cﾘnical, with the crowd roaring on their feet, but cﾘnical puts his hand in TBM’s chest, preventing the hug. TBM raises the microphone to his mouth and begins to talk once more.

Tromboner Man: GUYS!!! WE ARE PYROMANIA!!! SING IT LOUD, SING IT PROUD!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!![

The roster starts to join in with the PY-RO-MANIA chant, along with the crowd. Every single man, woman and child is on their feet, as the roof is raised  by the voices of every Pyromaniac in the venue.

Michaels: WHAT A FINISH!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!!

Lillehammer: You said it. You and I, we were both on Insanity when Jaro gave his speech Pre-Altered Reality 3. It’s pretty famous what happened after that. Let’s hope this isn’t a procurer to yet ANOTHER Altered Reality Gate.

Michaels: I think that’s only a reference the internet fans are going to get.

Lillehammer: Well, they should have ordered the Pay-Per-View, because they just missed out on another BIG match. Damion Kross, cﾘnical, Altered Reality Six. What an awesome match that will be.

Michaels: I’m surprised you and I are on the same page on that.

Lillehammer: It’s Altered Reality Drew. The one time I forget about who people are if they fight for Pyromania. And in this case… what a bunch of Pyromaniacs we have.

Michaels: No doubt about it!!! And they’re being lead by our International Heavyweight Champion, and soon to be Martinez Cup Champion, Tromboner Man!!! He’s proved tonight that he’s up for the task.

Lillehammer: It wouldn’t have mattered who won tonight. Pyromania is just too powerful for Insanity to handle this year.

Michaels: We’re out of time folks, but for Robert Lillehammer, I’m Drew Michaels, saying PY-RO-MANIA!!! PY-RO-MANIA!!!

Tromboner Man continues to lead the PY-RO-MANIA chant, with everybody in the arena still in full voice, except for Damion Kross and cﾘnical, who continue to stare each other down in the ring. The show closes with a fade to the Blistering Inferno logo.